Love & Order
by TheLadyHoll
Summary: It's a relationship that has defied every rule, especially the ones Detectives Olivia Benson & Elliot Stabler have made for themselves. So when a steamy stakeout leaves Liv pregnant & in danger, everything changes. Because you can't spell love without E & O.
1. Chapter 1:Momentum

Sleep together cant use drunk excuse cuz all cragen served was Perrier

Ask simon for fathers med records for baby

No marriage look how u and Kathy turned out I cant lose you like that

Stupid mistake/ stupid yes mistake no, some of the best things in life were mistakes

**10: 38 am Thursday, April 21, 2010**

Liv? Liv come on wake up! We've got a break. Det. Olivia Benson's eyes snapped open as she woke. She grabbed her jacket with one hand and rubbed the remnants of sleep from her eyes with the other. "Got it, let's go". She stood up and the grey walls of the SVU crib swam in front of her. "Oh", she swayed slightly on her feet and Elliot caught her by the arm. "Woah, hey, Olivia…" his voice deepened to a serious tone; "what's up with you lately? This must the third time I've had to come get you from the crib this week. You need to go see a doctor".

She shrugged away and brushed off the comment, "I'm fine El just a little run down, this case has got us doing crazy hours, nothing new. So what did Kim have for us?".

"Nice change of subject Liv, and no, it is new when you can't keep your eyes open on the job." Olivia shut the car door and grinned wryly at her partner in the driver's seat "damn you know me too well, that subject change would've worked on anyone else."

Twenty minutes into the drive, Elliot did a double take as he looked over at Olivia who he saw had turned an interesting shade of greyish green. She grimaced and put a hand on the dash in front of her. "Uh, El. Could you uh, eurgh, um pull over for a second?" Elliot swerved the car to the curb of the suburbs they were searching and pushed open the door for her from his seat. Immediately she leaned over and threw up violently into the gutter. She slouched back inside the seat before jerking forward again. Elliot unbuckled his seat belt and kept a steady hand on her shuddering shoulders.

"Damn, I knew that leftover Chinese was a bad idea", Olivia leaned back in the seat and accepted the piece of gum Elliot was offering her. "Olivia". Elliot fixed her with a knowing look, you looked like this yesterday as well, what's going on with you? She just shrugged. "Fine, fine, I'll make an appointment with the doctor, I'm sure it's nothing though" she grumbled as an afterthought. Elliot just shook his head and kept driving.

**2:24 pm. Back at the station**

Olivia exhaled sharply and tried to focus on the papers in front of her on her desk. She swallowed drily but the sour taste in her mouth rose up in the back of her throat and her stomach clenched and rolled. She rested her head in her hands and tried to breathe through her nose, waiting for the feeling to pass.

Once she was sure she wasn't going to throw up all over the court documents she opened her eyes to see a concerned Elliot beside her staring at her oddly. "Liv, you okay?" She opened her mouth to respond but another rolling vise of nausea had her clamping her mouth shut and shaking her head.

She moved her hand away from her mouth, "I've gotta get out of here". She swayed a little as she stood and put on her coat; "Come on, I'll drive you home": Elliot pulled his coat off the back of his chair.

"Thanks, lemme just go tell Cragen we're heading out" Olivia straightened up and headed towards their Captain's office. But with the next step she stopped again and bent over slightly at the waist. Elliot gently pushed her into a chair; "wait here, I'll just be a sec".

He knocked twice on the glass etched door with the backs of his knuckles. The door swung open easily, "Cap – I'm heading out a little early to take Olivia home, she's not feeling well".

The older man covered the lower end of the phone with his hand, "Sure, go ahead – tell Liv to feel better". He frowned slightly as his two best detectives left, it wasn't like either of them to leave early or ever take a sick day.

"Hey are you sure you're going to be okay?", Elliot pulled up to the entrance of her apartment building and looked into her eyes. "Yeah El, I'll be fine" she insisted – running a tired hand across her forehead impatiently. "I'm sure I'll be fine tomorrow". "All right, take care of yourself Olivia". He waited until the front door locked behind her before he drove off to his own apartment, empty now since the divorce had become finalized.

She pushed the door open into her flat and tossed her keys into the blue ceramic bowl on her hall table before taking a shower. But halfway through, the glass door slammed open and she fell to her knees in front of the toilet and threw up violently into it.

Reaching underneath the sink for the disinfectant-her hand brushed against a spare box of Tampax which fell, scattering its contents on the clammy tile floor. Her stomach clenched up again, this time for entirely different reasons. Her mind moved feverishly as she groped around blindly for the box "Ohmigod, the date, what's the date?, when was my last? How many weeks? Oh my god February" she muttered.

Naked and shivering on the bathroom floor Olivia realized it had been two months since her last period in February – it was now April 16th. She should have started her period 4 days ago. Drying her hair she let the towel fall from around her hips and stared tentatively at her reflection in the steamy mirror. If she was pregnant- she could barely wrap her mind around the word, then there was no hint of a bump at her waist yet. No curvature to indicate the presence of her baby.

Pulling on an old pair of NYPD sweats, she grabbed her wallet and all but ran to the convenience store. She grabbed a case of gingerale and saltines before making her way over to the family planning aisle. Her stomach flopped over again as her gaze fell on the condoms – "that would have come in handy a few months ago" she thought wryly. Despite the fact that she was the only one in that aisle, a blush spread over her cheeks and lower as she thought about the circumstances of the possible conception.

**8:28 pm February 4****th**** 2010 (FLASHBACK)**

"_Hey – did you hear something coming from the bathroom?" Elliot turned around to check out the sleazy bathroom when Olivia threw her cards down on the lumpy mattress and smoothed back her bangs. "Cause I think I just heard a royal flush! Come on, I'm waiting, the shirt goes this time I think". _

_It was the eleventh hour of their stakeout in this godforsaken motel. There was a drug deal supposed to be going down tonight between 'Elliot Richardson' and the guy narcotics was trying to bring down. Normally this bust would have gone through narcotics – but all of their guys had been made when a leak had been discovered in the unit. "The only flush I'm gonna see is on your face when I put down my four aces!" Elliot grinned as he listened to his partner mouth a few choice phrases at him. "You're gonna get it, Stabler"._

_Jokingly, Olivia shimmied off her sweater slowly teasing him with a mock impression of a striptease. The heavy wool cable knit pulled the tank top she wore underneath so that it shifted to reveal a lushly curved patch of black lace. _

_Without thinking Elliot reached out and grabbed her just below her ribcage so that his thumb brushed the underside of her breast as he pulled her inexorably towards him. Olivia's eyes widened, her pupils dilated wide as her breathing became hitched and shallow. _

_His hand slid up further, edging the ribbed material over her chest, exposing lace covered nipples that puckered enticingly against the cooler rush of air and the liquid rush of heat that filled her veins and pooled in a deep secret place in her body. A place that she arched unconsciously towards him as she pressed her hips to his._

"_Lord help me Olivia if you want me to stop tell me now". He bent to lave one swollen peak through the sheer lace and she managed to speak: "N, nuh, n – no. Elliot, El oh god please d-don't stop. Yes, yes I want you i-in me, please El" her whispered moans rose to muffled shrieks and gasps of shock and ecstasy as he hooked his thumbs through the beltloops of her pants and slid them down torturously slowly as he continued to kiss her. _

_Her own hands made quick work of his shirt and worked down the flat plane of his stomach, down across the faint swirl of black hair that grew denser as she unzipped his jeans and cupped her hand against him._

_He sucked in a sharp breath and pulled her away gently, I want to make this last Olivia; to make you feel like how you make me feel. He caressed her thigh as he teased the swollen flesh there to a feverish intensity of sensitivity. He parted them further and the feel of his calloused fingers rasping gently in circles around the throbbing nub at her core had her digging her nails into his back, wanting him pushing into her, harder._

_He lowered her into the pillows and in a perfect and desperate moment, thrust into her, entering her liquid honeyed center. "Oh God Liv – you're so tight, so hot, you feel so good" he muttered as their bodies undulated in perfect time and rhythm. At the moment he was fully immersed in her, sparks flew in reckless abandon and flames erupted and scorched their veins in the climax that ensued. _

_Again and again and every time he thrusted into her the pleasure never waned, keeping them just over the brink of madness. It was a visceral match between the pleasures of heaven and the flames of hell. _

_She screamed, pressing her face into his shoulder to muffle the sound and clung to him even more tightly, wrapping her legs around him and gasping with the sudden fullness she felt behind the shimmering waves of orgasm. _

_He rested his elbows on the mattress, forming a kind of muscled cage around her smaller frame. And this time, the commitment phobic and fiercely independent Olivia Benson didn't mind one bit. _

3:44 pm February 21 2010

She tossed three different brands of tests into the basket and hastily paid for them, all the time with her head down. Nearly identical images of elated expectant mothers dressed in pastels beamed up at her from the test boxes as she read the instructions with shaking hands. She wasn't anything like the average mother. She hated pastels, nearly everything she owned was black, her hair was short for convenience, she carried a gun for god's sake and let's not forget that her job was hunting down sexual deviants, sociopaths and murderers.

Oh God what was she going to do? And how was she going to do it alone? She couldn't even imagine telling him he was going to be a father. Oh Lord and if he was going to be a father that meant she was going to be a mother. There was no way she could face this alone, or tell Elliot yet. There was only one person she could call.

An hour later the buzzer rang and Olivia opened the door to a very pregnant Alexandra Cabot, former DA for the Special Victims Unit. "Omigod, Alex!" Olivia gasped and her hands flew to her mouth at the sight of her old friend.

"Liv what's wrong? You hung up so quickly- "Alex shrugged off her coat and sat down with some degree of difficulty next to Olivia who gave a halfhearted cross between a laugh and a sob. "I – I think I might be pregnant". She crumpled a tissue in her hand as Alex gave a soft "oh" and rubbed her back. "Well there's only one way to find out for sure…Have you done a test?"

"Three, they're in the bathroom but I couldn't bring myself to look"

Alex nodded slowly, "did you want me to?" She got up and came in a moment later; "Liv, Olivia look". She held out three identical sticks and forced them into Olivia's clenched hand. Olivia just shook her head.

"All right, I'm gonna go, _call_ _me_ Liv". The door closed with a soft thud behind her.

Olivia brushed away the tears that still blurred her vision and prevented her from seeing her future on the table in front of her. Then her vision cleared, and her future was clear – very, very, very clear. She gathered up the tests and stared at the two lines, a plus and a digital flashing word that all proclaimed her as pregnant.

Well that gave her a definite answer. Detective Olivia Benson was going to be a mommy for the first time at 42 years old.


	2. Chapter 2: On Shaky Ground

**Benson's Apartment**

**7:13 am April 12**

"Pheeww", Olivia opened her eyes the next morning and immediately tensed as a rolling wave of nausea greeted her. If all her attention hadn't been focused on not throwing up what little she had in her stomach she would have noticed the pounding headache, how her eyes had swollen shut and still damp and sticky with the tears she had cried herself to sleep with. After a few minutes of deep and slow breaths she managed to stumble into the shower.

She leaned against the cool tiles behind her and let the hot water sluice over her body. She wrapped herself in a towel supporting herself with one hand on the counter. Thankfully, as the steam overhead cleared, so did the nauseousness that had her feeling like her stomach was trying to turn inside out. She wiped the last bit of cloudiness from the mirror and stood back, letting the towel drop from her waist.

The pupils of her eyes dilated wide before she half closed them feeling dizzy again. Except this time, it had nothing to do with the slight changes she was now able to see in her body that indicated the presence of a tiny life buried deep inside her.

"How could I have been so stupid?" she murmured, examining her reflection more closely, opening her bathrobe. She winced at the rasp of the cotton as it was pulled across her breasts, finding upon further examination that they were tender and somewhat swollen.

And speaking of swollen, her hands moved down to her stomach. Now that she was paying attention to it, her waist had thickened. But Liv had chalked up the reluctance of her jeans zipper to close to the fact that she'd had way too many late night Chinese take-outs working late with Elliott and lately had spent more time in the car than on foot chasing perps.

She threw on a loose wool knit sweater and a low slung pair of jeans that sat just below her hips instead of straining across her waist, attached her gun clip to her belt and headed out the door.

When she arrived at the station that morning she skipped the gossip around the coffee pot and went straight to her desk. Elliot waved his free hand that wasn't holding half of a cream cheese and cherry Danish.

The combination of sweet cheese and coffee fumes turned her stomach. She swallowed drily and breathed through her mouth. She groaned, the sound barely above a whispered tone; "not again" – and swiveled her chair around as she ran for porcelain relief for the second time that morning.

- Chapter 3-

**GreenWood Clinic; Jane Edwards OB/GYN**

**9:42 am April 16**

Olivia sat in the waiting room of her new OB GYN, her eyes kept flicking to the clock. Cabot had been a large part of her being here. Olivia knew, deep down that she was pregnant; but she still needed it to be confirmed by a doctor, and the only thing that had her sitting here amongst pastels was a bone and soul deep desire to make sure her baby was healthy. Because Lord help her, as scared as she was she wanted this baby more than anything.

"Olivia Benson?", a nurse appeared at the doorway to the waiting room and looked around it. She took a moment before she was able to speak. Lying back on the cold metal of the exam table, she tried to pull the paper gown down over her thighs.

For a fleeting moment she thought to herself how rape victims must feel upon being examined but she quickly banished the thought from her mind. "Don't be ridiculous Olivia this is nothing like that. You're going to be fine!" she told herself firmly.

But despite her best mental efforts she couldn't help shaking as the doctor started the exam. She squeezed her eyes shut as the doctor asked her to put her feet in the stirrups.

The doctor moved up to feel her abdomen, "Olivia, Ms. Benson! I need you to relax so I can do a palpation" she insisted "you're too tense for me to feel properly."

"Sorry, sorry" Liv muttered as she focused on breathing slowly, repeating to herself "in through the nose out through the mouth, in through the nose, out through the mouth" in her mind. She could feel the doctor taking measurements, and pressing and manipulating her body, but her mind was somewhere else, far away.

She snapped back to the present to hear the doctor calling her name. "Olivia!" her tone softened slightly as she took in the younger woman's terrified expression.

"Olivia, I think you know what I'm going to tell you. You're almost 9 weeks pregnant. Now because you are over 35 years of age you're at what we call advanced maternal age." She paused, giving her time to take the information. "This puts you and your baby at greater risks for complications during the pregnancy and birth. Therefore I'm classifying you as a high risk pregnancy. Because you're in excellent health I'm not going to insist you leave your job if only if we can get your blood pressure regulated.

You'll be coming in for an ultrasound at 12 weeks and every 2 weeks after that depending on what we find out after tests. Oh, we'll need records of your genetic history as well as the health records of your husband"

Olivia responded by promptly throwing up over the side of the exam table; "oh shit".

She knew she had to tell Elliot, not doing so went against everything she stood for and everything she believed to be right. But she couldn't, she just couldn't bring herself to tell him. She knew, deep in her mind that she was going to have her baby. There was never any doubt in that area.

But a part of her couldn't make herself vulnerable to him like that. She'd never made herself vulnerable to anyone. But right now it wasn't even about her psychological inability to depend on anyone, it was the fact that she had a vulnerable life that depended fully on her.

But despite her best efforts, Liv soon found that she was going to have to tell him sooner, rather than later. She and Elliot were together for basically 20 hours of every 24, not to mention he was a damn good detective. He would notice the beginnings of the bump that had started to form beneath her navel that was firm to the touch and that she had to consciously and constantly remind herself not to touch as she had become so prone to doing in the last week or so.

**Cuore Bistro on 3****rd**

**12:47 May 2**

"Oh Alex what am I going to tell him? It happened one time on a stakeout." she laughed bitterly "and knowing what my job is, what both our jobs are you think we could have remembered a fucking condom".

Alexandra had listened quietly while Olivia poured out the whole story. She rubbed her belly thoughtfully before she spoke. "Olivia. Do you love him?" Olivia's mouth opened and closed wordlessly but Alex could see the answer in her eyes. She nodded slowly before she asked her next question "Are you going to keep the baby?" Alex knew the answer but her years as an ADA forced the question from her lips.

Olivia jerked her head up, Alex's words sinking through the mental beating she was giving herself. "What? Alex how could you say that. You know better than anybody…" she trailed off, thinking of Elliot and how supportive he had been when she had looked into adoption a few years ago "almost anybody how much I wanted a baby". Alex gave a small sad smile, "so I think that, and what you were just thinking of, gives you your answer Liv" she nodded at the protective hand Olivia had unconsciously clasped over her stomach when Alex had questioned her. Liv smiled down ruefully but didn't remove her hand. "Yeah I know, I'm just scared Alex".

Both women were quiet another moment until Alex pushed the fried softshell crab appetizers they were sharing over to her, "eat Liv, you need to feed the baby" "And you don't", Olivia joked as she bit into a piece. Alex groaned and leaned back, "if this baby gets any bigger…" she joked warningly.

Suddenly hungrier than she had felt in days, Olivia wolfed down the rest of her meal. It was so nice to be able to talk with Alex. As well as being her closest friend she was also an invaluable source of information Olivia could pump for tips on going through a pregnancy.

Alex had met Colin Priors 3 years ago towards the end of her time in the Witness Protection Program as he was one of the agents assigned to her. Needless to say she received some extra special attention from him and had married two years after and were now expecting a little boy together.

At the end of the meal, Alex refused to let Olivia pay saying "Hey, no arguing. I've gotta make sure my little niece or nephewis taken care of." She wrapped her arms around her as best she could given her grossly swollen belly "and his mother too" she whispered in Liv's ear.


	3. Chapter 3: To Tell El

The day before Olivia was scheduled to go in for her 12 week ultrasound she decided she had to tell Elliot.

She wrung her hands and was pacing at the side of his desk at around 9 am when he walked in. "Hey Liv, how was your weekend?...hey, hey what's wrong?" "Elliot I need to talk to you, in private"

He frowned and took her by the arm, "okay, sure. Cragen can we uh, use your office for a moment?". "Sure, help yourselves, as long as those DD5's make it onto my desk before lunch" Don replied.

Elliot crossed his arms, and stood leaning against the front of the cherry-wood desk. Olivia stayed by door and continued fiddling with the hem of her shirt and avoiding his gaze.

"Elliot, I… I uh, know that I should have told you sooner but…" her voice wavered and she looked down again. The way one of her shirt buttons pulled the fabric across her stomach gave her the strength and courage to continue.

She took a deep breath; "I'm pregnant Elliot" his expression remained unchanged for a moment "with your baby El".

His eyes moved from the floor until they burned a hole in her midsection. She could see him doing mental calculations in his head. "Twelve weeks, he murmured to himself. "How long have you known?"

"About three weeks" she answered evenly. "Almost a month?" his voice rose now. "You have known about this for a month and you didn't say anything? Let me believe everything was normal?" "Dammit Olivia you could have been hurt! You should've been on desk duty instead of out in the field."

"Which is exactly why I didn't want to tell you! You'll go all 'Elliot Stabler' and start ordering me around. You do NOT make the decisions in my life or for me.

"What, you think you can do this by yourself?" She recoiled slightly at his words and Elliot was already kicking himself for making a comment like that when she turned around with tears in her eyes and left.

"Liv,Olivia – wait!" He ran out of the office and found himself blocked by a pair of suspenders. "Cap, let me go, I have to go after her".

But Donald Cragen didn't move, the kindly lined face stared him down. "Elliot whatever you've done Olivia's just left in tears. Olivia, Elliot. That's not like her at all, I think you hurt her pretty badly and I've promised her that I wouldn't let you follow her until she's had some time to herself and for you to cool down.

"But Captain –"

Fin came over at that moment "Come on Stabler there's a perp needs bustin' in interrogation room 2".

Elliot turned pleadingly to the captain once more but he just shook his head and said "Get going. You can leave at 6 today but that's as far as I'll take this"

"Damn Stabler, what crawled up your ass?" Fin nudged him as they walked towards interrogation. "Shove it Finn".

Four hours and one almost charge of police brutality went by before Elliot could finally leave. It was past seven o'clock by the time Elliot got to the crib. It had killed him the past couple of hours knowing she was so close to him but so far away from being in his arms where he wanted her.

He knocked but no one answered. He knew she was there. He stood there for a moment. If she hadn't been so upset with him he would have no qualms about using the key he owned. He respected her too much to use it against her.

But damn it she was carrying his baby, she was upset and…dammit he didn't need any more reason than that, he was going in.

He slid the key into the brass lock and turned it too quickly. The door creaked in protest of the rough treatment.

"Olivia" he whispered into the dark. Maybe she was sleeping. The droning static of the tv brought him out of his silent reverie.

He went over to the side of the room to turn it off when he saw Olivia. She was curled up in ball on her side on the couch.

His breath caught a little as he saw the tearstains that still ran moist on her cheeks.

Despite the balmy weather she was covered in goose bumps and it looked as though she had tried to get warm under an afghan before falling asleep in front of the tv. She looked so small and fragile as she slept.

She shivered in her sleep and her eyes fluttered open. "El – Elliot?" She sat up and turned a sickly grey, "Oh" she moaned "oh God not again".

She kicked free of the blanket and stumbled into the adjoining bathroom with her hand clapped over her mouth.

Olivia dropped to her knees hard on the floor and heaved into it, throwing up violently. Elliot knelt beside her and swept her hair back from her neck that was now sticky with a cold sheen of sweat.

With his free hand he grabbed some paper towels and wet them under the tap, gently wiping her face and neck with the cool water.

After a few minutes the worst of the storm seemed to have passed and he was able to pull her into his lap with only the slightest amount of pressure on her shoulders. She sagged against him hating herself for doing so. He just held her against him for a long while, rocking her gently.

But still the tired, desperate tears escaped her eyes. "Olivia…I'm sorry. I am so so sorry for what I said to you earlier, I was outta line and I know that. I just, I just – dammit Olivia you mean so much to me I got angry".

She sniffed and struggled to get up. He wanted to keep in her in his arms but he reluctantly helped her up. "Shh, Liv take it easy" he started. But she cut him off.

"No! Elliot I want this baby. More than you could EVER know" her voice shook with repressed sobs and anger. "But I don't know if I'm going to be a good mother. I don't know if I CAN. Look at me, El. Look at the genes I have in my veins - genes that are being passed on to this innocent baby".

She balled up her fist clenching her sweater in it where it lay across her abdomen. "A drunk who couldn't love her daughter and a rapist for a father; I don't trust myself. I – I can't be selfish here Elliot."

She broke down completely now, sobs racking her chest as she fought to get the words out. "And at the s-same time I c-can't give my baby away". She wrapped her arms around herself and backed away until she bumped into the wall, distancing herself, always distancing herself, never letting anyone in.

Once she'd let out all her rage Elliot moved closer, this time not letting go when she flinched away and turned her into his chest. She was tense for a moment and struggled before sagging against him, letting the tears escape her eyes, soaking through his shirt. "I don't want to hurt my baby". He held her tightly and rubbed her back.

After a long while she stilled, lifting her tearstained face up to his searching for God knows what before leaning back on his shoulder. "I want to go home" she croaked hoarsely, all her energy spent. "Okay, okay sweetheart we're going to go home now".

She'd fallen asleep in the car on the ride home to her apartment. "Olivia?" he stroked her cheek and pushed a stray hair back but she only sighed and pursed her lips in her sleep.

He took her up into his arms and carried her inside. He removed her shoes and jacket and carried her into the bedroom where he tucked her into bed underneath the covers.

Only daring to do so while she was sleeping, he pressed his lips to her forehead -she stirred slightly and mumbled in her sleep; "I love my baby". His heart squeezed painfully as he watched her, so fragile and vulnerable in her sleep "I know, I know liv".

He let himself out of her bedroom but decided to camp out on her couch in case she needed something during the night. But first he had to call Cragen, "Hey cap" he spoke quietly in his cell phone. "Elliot whats going on? You left with Olivia looking like hell, s'everything okay?" "Yeah cap, everything's fine. Olivia's come down with some kind of nasty bug. I'm driving her down to an appointment tomorrow morning so if it's all the same to you I'll be in a little late, I don't know what kind of shape she'll be in tomorrow. "No worries Elliot, take care of our girl". "I will Cap, thanks".

He shut the phone off and stretched out on her living room couch, arms behind his head as he stared at the ceiling. Pregnant, Olivia was pregnant. She was going to have a baby, his baby. His soul tore as he fought with his emotions. After his marriage with Kathy had ended Elliot had sworn not to make himself vulnerable like that again.

But now the same thing that happened to Kathy had happened to Olivia because of him. On one hand he wished that night had never happened between them. And on the other hand a warmth stole over him at the thought that he had put that baby in her belly that she already loved more than life itself even if she didn't know it yet.

Every emotion swirled around in his brain until he sighed frustratedly, pounding the pillow beneath him. He didn't want to think about them, about what consequences they would have if he realized them.

**_Hello my darlings - sorry for the wait in the update! This is all I have written so far so REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW and I'll be that much more motivated to continue writing._**

**_ The next chapter goes up when I have 4 new reviews_**

**_xoxo Much Love, TheLadyHoll xoxo_**


	4. Chapter 4: Seeing is Believing

He let her sleep until 9:30 the next morning; amazed that her own alarm hadn't woken her bright and early at 5 am like normal. He heard noise from the bedroom and knocked lightly on the door. "Liv? It's Elliot, is everything alright?" He opened the door to her bedroom; he thought she was still asleep until a tiny moan escaped from her lips. "I can't move without feeling like I'm going to be sick, I can't get out of bed!" she had lowered her voice to a tentative whisper in the hopes that it wouldn't jar her roiling stomach.

"Shh, stay still I'll be back in a sec". He grabbed the paper bag full of groceries he had gone out to get that morning while she was still sleeping. He came back with a package of saltines and pressed one into her hand. "God, El I don't want food right now, I want to die". "Good, now see your sense of humor is already returning" he joked back.

Cautiously, she ate one cracker, then another and another; she breathed a sigh of relief. "Feeling any better?" "Much thanks" Olivia replied as she walked into the kitchen after her shower. "We're going to be late for your appointment, let's go". Elliot picked up her coat and waited expectantly by the door.

"Uh, Elliot – I, uh, hadn't really planned on you going to the appointment with me, I'll be fine now El. Thanks for your help". "You really expect me to let you go through this alone?" "Exactly El, it shouldn't be a matter of you LETTING me do anything! This is the problem; I don't need you permission or approval"

Elliot wasn't about to make the same mistake twice. "Hear me out Liv; I don't want you to go through this alone. You shouldn't have to either. I want to be there for you, for our baby. At least you have to allow me that Olivia". "El – I don't want this to ruin what we have, or affect our relationship or…" "Let's just get through this day by day, starting with the doctors and making sure mother and baby are doing okay".

Olivia nodded, brown eyes filled with uncertainty. Elliot drove to the appointment at a clinic on the upper east side on 43rd street. As they drove, he glanced over repeatedly at Olivia who didn't say a word the entire time they were in the car. But as they passed by a couple walking with a stroller near central park, she smiled wistfully at the pair who were so obviously in love and placed her hands over her own stomach. He yearned to pull aside her coat and shirt to see if there were any changes in her body yet made by their baby that lay nestled deep beneath her tender touch.

She barely noticed as he parked the car and jumped slightly as he placed his own hand over hers where it lay over her belly "we're here Liv".

She nodded brusquely and got out of the car. Elliot made to guide her by gently cupping her elbow as she walked up the stairs but she shrugged him off; "I'm fine El, I'm not going to break". He backed off reluctantly and waited while she filled out the registration forms at the front desk.

She came back with a clipboard and sat down heavily beside him. "They want to know my family's medical history" Her hand shook as she fiddled with the pen until the cap broke off. Elliot took it from her hands – "it's going to be okay Liv". Just then, a nurse appeared at the door and chirped out 'Ms. Benson, they're ready for you".

Olivia stood but didn't let go of Elliot's hand which surprised him. He stood up with her and went into the exam room after she'd changed and sat beside the exam chair. The doctor bustled in cheerily, "Hello Olivia – good to see you again. Is this the baby's father?" Elliot rose and offered his hand, "Elliot Stabler and yes, I am the father of this baby. Tell me, is everything alright with the pregnancy – no blood pressure problems, sign of pre-eclampsia, HCG levels are good?"

The doctor raised her eyebrows and chuckled "Not the first time we've been through this then Mr. Stabler?" He grinned wryly, "No, uh, actually I've got 5 but only one is still living at home". The doctor nodded wisely, "alright now Olivia everything looks good with the pregnancy and your calculation of twelve weeks gestation appears correct. Today we're just going to do a routine ultrasound and run a set of tests which we'll repeat at 16 and 20 weeks". "Yeah, that's fine".

Elliot gently pried her hands from being clamped on her stomach and held them tight in his own hands, warming them and keeping them away so that the doctor could perform the tests. "Sorry" she mumbled embarrassedly as she inched down her jeans and pushed up her top so that the doctor could spread the gel for the ultrasound.

Elliot could only stare at her as she exposed her stomach. It was almost as smooth and flat as he had imagined except for the slight curve that mounded just below her belly button. Lowering the Doppler probe he strained his ears listening for the hummingbird beat that would signify their baby's heartbeat.

After a few moments of strained silence, the doctor found what she was looking for and moved her mouse around the screen clicking intermittently as she took pictures for measurement. Olivia's gaze moved from her stomach to the screen and back again; "ohmigod…is that the baby?" "Yep, that's your baby" – the doctor kept the probe still for another few seconds so that they could get a good look before she handed Olivia a wad of paper towel so that she could wipe the sticky gel off of her stomach.

The doctor's hand replaced Olivia's as she felt her stomach. "Well congratulations again you two, I can positively confirm that you are expecting a healthy baby due around November 1st. Keep taking your prenatal vitamins and taking care of yourself and I will see you in four weeks if everything progresses as it should. At your next appointment we can speak more about preparing for an advanced maternal age high risk pregnancy and birth and discuss your options then."

Olivia sat up and yanked her shirt back down over her stomach once the doctor had left; "I hate hearing about how old I am, how I'm at an advanced age to be a mother like I'm some kind of doddering geriatric who can't remember how to tie her own shoes" she complained bitterly as she struggled to do up her jeans button. As she fought against the zipper she burst into laughter, leaning onto the table for support.

"Am I gonna get clocked if I laugh as well?" Elliot teased. "No, you cannot laugh at me because I'm getting fat- you made me this way" she choked out, now between laughter and tears. She gave up trying to do up her zipper and settled for pulling her sweater down over top of the gap and buttoning her coat.

**Hooray! 8 comments last chapter! **

**Let's go for 10 comments this time before I update! **

**Thank you so much! All your comments made what you're reading above possible to write - and seeee this time it took only 3 days instead of a month for me to update. Keep it up lovelies 3 TheLadyHoll**


	5. Chapter 5: Too Damn Stubborn

"I think you look beautiful". The words slipped out before Elliot knew he was saying them and he cursed himself once they did. She stopped laughing and looked into his eyes as her own widened with shock and some confusion. Elliot tried to cover his tracks by handing her her coat and saying "come on, let's find someplace to eat. I'm starved – and you need to feed that baby".

"Can we get Chinese?" she asked as they got into the car. "Anything you want Liv, what the pregnant lady wants the pregnant lady gets". "Damn straight" she grinned and buckled her seat belt; and Elliot noticed the extra care she took adjusting it to sit below her hips instead of across her stomach.

He watched her finish her own food and start on his before he spoke again "Olivia, how do you feel about this."

She put down her fork and leaned back; "I won't lie to you Elliot I'm more scared than I have ever been. Every moment I'm questioning my ability to keep this baby safe. But I am so so happy about this baby and to have this chance to be its mom. There has never been a moment's doubt in my mind about that part of this".

"But knowing that I'm the father…" he trailed off not wanting to hear her answer.

She tilted her head to one side and breathed in deeply before answering. "I didn't know my father but what I knew about him has haunted me every day of my life – knowing that my baby has not just a good man – but my best friend as his father" She looked him straight in the eyes before continuing "I can't think of anyone else I would want to be the father of my child more than you".

They left the restaurant and as they made their way to the car, Olivia sniffed and roughly brushed her eyes. She whirled around and made a scoffing noise in the back of her throat. "And I don't want to lose you Elliot. Because as hard as we may fight against us, something has changed – and it can't be changed back. I can't lose you as my best friend Elliot I can't". She broke off, trying to swallow back the lump in her throat, telling herself, ordering herself not to give in to tears again.

A muscle twitched in Elliot's jaw and he took her face in his hands and made her face him. He rested his forehead against hers, making sure their eyes locked.

"There's this woman" he started, and Olivia felt her throat tighten in worry at what this speech about another woman was leading to. "I've known her for years. She's a consummate career woman – some would say married to the job, and damn good at what she does.

If there was ever a woman who needed a man, it would not be her; Lord knows she's strong or at least stubborn enough to handle anything, anything life throws her way. And it's thrown her a lot.

But she's not perfect, nope – far from it. One lesson that she needs to learn is that depending on someone is the same as trusting them, and being able to trust someone is a strength rather than a weakness. And it's only her fear of the past and the future that keeps her from being fully involved in the present.

And the present is so important, it's what your past has shaped and what shapes your future. The present is worth being in, and right now, regardless of what the past has brought or what the future may bring, the present is seeing this woman in front of me. The present is her eating her sitting here , eating her meal so she can stay strong and healthy to keep her baby safe and healthy that is growing in her right now.

And difficult enough as it is to give your heart to someone…Olivia" He took her hand "I can see right now that you love this baby more than anything else in the world, in the way that the only tears you have shed have been for him or her, in the way that your hand drops to your stomach and you touch your belly when you think no one's looking. And that's all the direction for the future you need".

"Where the hell did that come from?" she asked – desperately trying to lighten the tension that she could feel his words evoke in the shivers running up and down her spine.

"Well, part of it might have come from the fortune cookie from the restaurant…but the rest of it I meant every word".

She said nothing further until they'd reached Olivia's apartment, and she put a hand on the car door handle "You're right Elliot". She broke his gaze and looked out the front window as she struggled to fit all the pieces of her mind together.

"My baby is the most important thing to me right now, so…" she breathed in once deeply as she came to a decision "I think, that what I need right now and what I need to do for my baby right now is to, to get a little distance".

Elliot's eyes widened and he opened his mouth, presumably to protest against what she was saying, but she held a hand up to stop him "I need to think about what is best for my baby Elliot, and I can't do that with you hanging over my shoulder or being such a constant presence in my life at the moment. I'm not saying I'm going to keep our child from you – but I am asking you, to give me some time to figure out where I'm at. I'll let you know if there are any health concerns with the baby as the pregnancy progresses".

"As it progresses, Olivia just how much time do you need? Because I can't and won't be away from my child that long".

The words 'my child' hit Olivia's heart like a sledgehammer. They reminded her of both the fact that Elliot was involved, and that she couldn't just run away from all of this – and that Elliot wouldn't be here except for the fact that she was carrying his child in her belly. And once she gave birth, Elliot's interest would wane as what he wanted would then exist in a separate entity.

"I understand you want to be involved El – and I'm going to try my hardest not to make this period last the entire 9 months, but even if it does that's what I need from you right now. I will however, be sure to send you a picture of the 20 week ultrasound".

Elliot was about to retort back that she wasn't about to SEND him anything, that he was going to be there with her at the scan. But as he saw the slight drooping of her shoulders, the bags under her eyes and the limp hand that was rubbing her stomach tiredly he forced himself to step back.

"Goodbye, Elliot" she turned and walked up the first flight of stairs that led to her apartment on the 14th floor supporting herself with one hand on the railing.

As Elliot got back in the car and drove to the precinct, he couldn't help thinking that come hell or high water there was no way he was going to let Olivia say 'goodbye' to him – not without a fight.

Olivia's resolve strengthened that night when she went to change into her pajamas and caught sight of herself in the full length mirror in the corner of her bedroom. She rolled the pajama bottoms down so that they sat underneath her hipbones.

Despite showering, she could still feel small traces of the dried ultrasound gel on her stomach which since her 9th week of pregnancy had started to form barely a palm's worth of bump, but a bump nonetheless. Not that it would be detectable to anyone who saw her clothed.

Tracing careful fingertips across the faint swelling of her belly she felt it was still smooth and as yet unmarked by any veins or stretch marks but it was firm to the touch, and if she pressed in slightly she could feel it mound just above her pubic bone.

"Oh sweet baby" she murmured softly "I hope we're doing the right thing".

"Uh captain, can I speak with you for a moment?" Cragen looked up from the paperwork on his desk. "Sure" he gestured to a seat in front of him and pushed the ever-present jar of licorice towards her as she sat.

Her stomach recoiled at the scent and she put a hand up, as if to stave off the offending odor "uh, no I'm good thanks". "So what can I do for you Olivia?" "I'm putting in a temporary request for reassignment _in_ the unit". She looked up from her lap to face her boss – and the man who so many times she'd come to like a father.

"I'm pregnant". Captain Cragen's expression didn't change – he exhaled through his nose, his lips stayed in a tight grim line as he nodded slowly.

"How far along are you?" "I'm about 14 weeks". He nodded again "and the father…?" Olivia's breath hitched and she wrung her hands tightly beneath the oak desk's cover "I would prefer not to involve him at the current time" "at least tell me he knows, Olivia" "Yes, yes he knows about the baby – it was my decision to get a little space".

Skeptical, Cragen continued his line of questioning "and by needing distance from the baby's father you also happen to need distance from your partner?" Olivia's heart dropped, damn – she'd made it too obvious. "Please captain". It was the last please, and the desperate glimmer of fear and hope in the deep brown eyes that made Cragen sigh and acquiesce.

"Alright Olivia, I'll temporarily reassign Fin to you for the moment – he and Stabler are still having beef at the moment". "Thank you captain", "I don't want to see you get hurt Olivia, either of you. Elliot's not going to be too happy about this" "I know, I told him last week that I was planning on asking you – but I wanted to get past the first trimester so I could be sure I wasn't raising hell for nothing, if…if something was wrong with the pregnancy".

"You know that in a month or so I'm going to have to put you on desk duty – 18 to 20 weeks is IAB's cutoff for pregnant cops on active duty". "Yeah I know don't remind me" she groaned with a smile – relieved that the subject had changed.

"When are you planning on telling the rest of the squad" "I don't think I'm ready for that just yet – but I will; soon. I won't be able to hide it for much longer anyway. Olivia smiled ruefully touching a hand to her stomach that was still hidden by the desk.

She had already given up trying to fit into some of her tighter pants and some, like the ones she was wearing today she could only fit into with the help of a safety pin.

"Okay, I'll fill out the paperwork – but if this goes on longer than a month, internal affairs needs to go through the process of an official change in partner. "Got it cap" "I hope you know what you're doing Olivia". She closed the office door behind her and murmured under her breath as she saw the distant profile of her now ex-partner and soon to be father to her baby, "so do I"...


	6. Chapter 6: More Than One Life in Danger

**Hello my awesome beautiful fans. Hope everyone's summer is fantastic so far. Elliot and Olivia's is certainly shaping up to be interesting. Now, at the end of this chapter you're going to find a...Dun, dun, duh...cliffhanger! A new (ish :P) tactic of mine to garner reviews. I cherish them, so please please take a moment to write them. The faster you do, the faster you'll get to see what happens after the shoot - oops, I've said too much! Read on faithful friends and PLEASE comment. I think I'll set my number at 10 this time and see how it goes. Holla at me! TLH**

Elliot watched her for the next several weeks. He saw her slowly but surely fill out with his child until he was sure she couldn't keep the pregnancy a secret any longer. At 17 weeks it was summer and still she tried to hide in baggy sweaters and loose shirts despite the stifling August heat. But Elliot could see the roundness of her stomach when she leaned a certain way and the hem of her sweater was strained by the bulge.

She still hadn't said anything to him apart from a distant and friendly 'hello' if they passed in the hallway. Finn was a good guy, one of the best, but Elliot still didn't trust him to look out for Olivia the way he could.

She was still getting sick in the mornings. Despite having moved desks to face her new partner Elliot could still see the contents of her drawers when she opened them to take out a saltine or a piece of gum after she returned grey faced from the bathroom.

For a room full of detectives Elliot was amazed no one had noticed anything yet, or if they had they hadn't said anything.

Just then Olivia bent over the file cabinet she was searching and steadied herself with one hand on the desk – one hand cupping her rounded belly with a puzzled expression on her face. Immediately Elliot thought the worst and he leapt to his feet, moving towards her without a second thought. "Live what is it - is it the baby?" he whispered hoarsely. As he reached out to her, her concentration broke and she looked up in surprise. But for the first time in nearly a month, he saw a smile break across her face.

"I think I felt the baby move" she whispered, a smile still playing across her face. Now Elliot grinned, his hands still around her waist. But that magical moment only lasted for another few seconds until they realized they were still in the middle of the squad room. Elliot cleared his throat but Olivia was the first to move back out of his grasp, looking around to see if anyone had noticed the brief interaction between them. He spoke softly, entreatingly, like – Olivia thought – the way he talked to a suspect when he wanted something, "Olivia". He managed to shut the door to one of the interrogation rooms so that they were alone and out of earshot. "No Elliot, this doesn't change anything" "

Well at least you have to put yourself on desk work now" "I have at the very least another week to go before Internal Affairs deems me 'inactive'. And I plan to work up until they do". "Olivia, think of the baby – you're putting yourself in too much danger".

Olivia bristled, "I'm not Kathy, Elliot, I am not your wife, and you have no right and no part in my personal life. My body, my baby" she hissed underneath her breath, "I may not have 5 children, but I've known myself long enough to listen to my instincts, and right now they're telling me that the best thing to do for the baby is to live independently. My mom raised me alone and I can and will do the same".

"Your father was a rapist Olivia, it's not like your mother had the choice of involving the father in her child's life. You say you want what's best for the baby, but you're denying him a father who will love him. Is that in the baby's best interests Olivia? Or yours? Just ask yourself that the next time you tell yourself you're doing this 'for the baby'".

He walked out of the interrogation room leaving Olivia standing there alone. And God she felt so alone in that moment. She let her head fall back against the cool clammy cement wall to try and get a grip on her whirling emotions. She looked down at her stomach, wanting so much for her baby to move again – but she felt nothing but a ball of nerves and guilt sitting heavily in her belly and again, her thoughts fell to alone, how isolated she'd made herself.

She didn't have long to dwell on that thought, John pushed open the door and tossed her coat to her "incident at the 2-7. Commissioner wants all of SVU down there – the four kids from the Wilson-Underwood case are being held hostage by a man. Shots fired but we don't have any more information".

Olivia grabbed her bullet proof vest from her locker and slung it over her shoulders as she ran out of the building. She almost ran to her and Elliot's old squad car before she remembered she was now with Finn, who had already started the engine. But before she could cover up her mistake, Elliot caught her eye – and despite his anger with her she could read the pain in them that was begging her not to put herself in this kind of dangerous situation.

She paused only a moment before shaking her head in a silent 'no' and joining Finn who sped off towards the scene, sirens blaring. It was a good thing Fin was focused on driving, because Olivia had to remove her bulkier sweater in order to be able to fit into the small vest. Which before now had always fit like a glove, but now the buckles and Velcro strained across her newly swollen stomach.

They reached a dreary looking cement and brownstone building across from a park, looking completely un-noteworthy but for the incoming swarm of cop cars and ambulances that were descending on it. "Where's the hostage negotiator?" Olivia yelled hoarsely over the roar of the gathering crowd. "We sent him in 20 minutes ago – we're just preparing to go in. We haven't heard anything from him, we don't know if it's the equipment or if something's happened to him". "Just tell them to get the kids out of there". "Look, detective we're trying but this guy doesn't want money or anything else. We don't have anything else to bargain with".

By this time Olivia had already started towards the front steps, where officers had just knocked down the door and the members of the SVU squad took their positions. Edging carefully into the house, the door closed behind them. With the thick wood muffling the outside chaos the group could now hear distant soft sobbing above them. In the excitement the perp hadn't seemed to notice the house had been breached, and he had no clue as to what was coming up behind him.

Elliot shifted slightly so that he was blocking Olivia- yes it was against formation but he didn't really give a damn. She shouldn't be here anyway. It was only the urgency and speed of the takedown that had kept Cragen from forbidding her from going into action. John had gone around to the back of the house with Cragen, where another group of armed officers stood should the perp decide to try and make a back exit. So it was just Olivia, Fin and Elliot who edged towards the attacker. They could see the shadow of the person stretching gruesomely from the doorway, could hear his rough voice as he barked to the children to keep quiet and waved his gun menacingly.

They had managed to slip across the landing without his notice, and were only steps away from being able to grab the man and his gun when Olivia froze.

Olivia's breath hitched suddenly as she remained bent and hunched over, to avoid throwing her shadow with the light in the hallway. A ripping wave of pain tore through her lower belly, cleaving it into what felt like shreds. A gurgle escaped her lips and her whole body clenched against the pain. 'It wasn't going away, oh God the pain wasn't going away' she thought desperately as she stood crookedly, taking one hand off of her gun to hold to her stomach.

**Oh no! What's going to happen? Is Olivia losing the baby? They're in the middle of a hostage situation for heaven's sake, how on earth is this all going to work out?**

**Comment - and you'll find out! Only 10 more comments to go! Send me some love! I have the next chapter all edited and waiting for you :)**


	7. Chapter 7: A Hostage to Her Body

**So last chapter 6 fantastic faithful fans and readers commented. Could we try for 10 this time? I don't like holding out on you guys but...I'm in desperate need of motivation! So PLEASE, comment and motivate me!**

The next cramping movement had her doubled over and she cried out involuntarily with the force of the spasm. Elliot heard a kind of strangled noise and distracted from the task looked behind him. What he saw frightened him more thoroughly than the man with the gun ever could.

Olivia's chest heaved as she tried to catch her breath, but all that came out was a gasping moan as she fell against the wall heavily clutching her stomach, her gun still in one hand. This commotion the perp heard and he came to the doorway to investigate.

Shots fired off the walls, sending sawdust and fragments of wallpaper splintering down onto them, shattering the lamps and picture frames that hung there. Everything happened so quickly that Elliot was still facing Olivia when the first shot rang out, which hit him squarely in the back. The Kevlar vest protected him from any fatal wounds but the bullet had grazed his arm before making contact with the side of his vest where his ribs were.

Elliot turned on his heel and all 3 men closest to the doorway took aim and shot, Elliot, Fin and one of the armed policemen in the foremost flank. The man fell, and the quickly seeping crimson through the floors spelt out his fate.

Her stomach cramped again and this time with it Olivia felt a warm wetness seep from her through to her pants; "Oowwww". "No, no,no no, no, no – Elliot. I'm losing it, I'm losing the baby".His eyes searched her face, hoping for some sign that what she was saying wasn't true. "I'm bleeding" she whispered hoarsely, terrified at what was happening in her belly that very second.

Elliot ripped open the tight Kevlar vest and threw it aside, scooping her up gently from the floor and lifting her into his arms. "Fin, O'Halligan get the kids out of here and checked over by EMS" Elliot shouted over his shoulder to the other men who were already in the process of evacuating the four children via the fire exit outside of a nearby window. They both looked utterly gobsmacked at the scene unfolding in front of them. "Was she hit?" Finn yelled to him as he disappeared down the stairwell. He didn't wait to hear their answer or give them one – Olivia's face had gone grey and pale with fear and pain.

No large vehicles could get in or out of the surrounding 6 blocks without special clearance, so Elliot had no choice but to use his car to get her to the hospital, as the ambulances were all blocked. He lay Olivia gently in the back seat, cursing himself as she curled up and stifled the groans that signified the magnitude of her suffering.

Siren blaring, Elliot ran every red light from Brooklyn to downtown, never moving his foot from the gas pedal – and constantly checking the mirror to see Olivia. Grabbing his cell phone he called in to the dispatcher to notify the nearest hospital he was coming; "Pregnant cop, 17 and a half weeks pregnant – started cramping and bleeding during a takedown at the 2-7. Get them ready at St. Christopher's" he shouted into the phone before throwing it on the seat beside him, and turning around to see Olivia, still hunched over, biting her lip so she wouldn't make any sound.

White-knuckled she clutched her shirt where it lay overtop her belly and prayed for the pain to stop. "I want my baby, Elliot please don't let them take my baby" she whispered as he swung the car to a stop in front of the emergency room and opened the back door to lift her out. She cried out again as he lifted her, the cramps not ceasing. He couldn't tell what was the dead perp's blood from what was Olivia's on his own clothes– but he prayed that it was the man's as he saw it staining her clothes despite the fact he knew all too well she hadn't been anywhere near the kidnapper when he fell from three clean shots.

A prepped medical team came out to meet them as they arrived and Elliot reluctantly placed her down on the stretcher. He started to follow the doctors back to surgery but a nurse in purple scrubs came out to stop him, "I'm sorry detective, you're not allowed back there. You'll have to wait here for news on your partner" she said reassuringly in a faint Jamaican lilt and patted his arm. He resisted the urge to shove the nurse out of the way and follow the fading sounds of Olivia's plea to the doctors to do whatever they have to do to save her baby.

"She's not just my partner, that's my baby". As the nurse moved away with a sympathetic look Elliot buried his face in his hands, which still bore the sinister traces of Olivia's blood. "Oh God, that's my baby. That's my baby she might be losing right now. He ground his fists into his eyes against the stinging threat of tears.

He looked down at his phone, which he just realized was vibrating. Flipping it open he saw 3 missed calls, two from Fin and one from Cragen with another incoming. He put it to his ear "Elliot what the hell is going on? You abandon your partner at a crime scene, take Olivia and don't tell anybody where you're going so I'm looking like a jackass in front of the police commissioner when he asks where my two top detectives are and I have to tell him I don't have a damn clue!"

"I'm at St. Christopher's. It's Olivia; they think she's losing the baby". "Oh God-" he heard a heavy sigh come through the phone "where is she now?" "Still in surgery, they haven't told me anything" he choked out –his throat closing from anger and fear all in the same moment.

"This happen during the shooting?" "Yeah, she just, she just fell against the wall saying that her stomach hurt and then after a couple of minutes she realized she was bleeding". "Call me the moment you know anything, understand?" Cragen's gruff voice commanded, but Elliot knew the man was probably just as scared as he was. Captain Cragen had become something like a substitute father for Olivia during her 13 years in the Special Victims Unit. "I'll calm Fin down, he's aiming to take your head off for running away with his partner – but he deserves to know what's happening".

"Alright…Cap the doctor's coming down the hall, I gotta go. I'll call you when I know something". He met the harried looking surgeon as he stepped out of the restricted area doors.

The short-statured, greying man began without preamble; "The position of her uterus was in what we call an involuted presentation, which wouldn't normally be a major concern but for the fact that the placenta was attached to the same side as the uterus was tilted, putting pressure on the major vena cava artery on her left side. The resulting pressure from the growing organ on the surrounding veins resulted in a decrease in blood flow to the placenta, essentially meaning the baby wasn't getting the nutrients or strength it needed. This resulted in a partial abruption as the organ was dying – meaning it started to detach from the uterine wall".

Elliot's mind raced to swallow the slew of medical jargon and information the surgeon was spouting; "Is she all right? Tell me! What about the baby". Looking distinctly unfazed by the desperation of the man in front of him, the doctor peered down his nose through his glasses and continued wearily.

"Using microscopic surgery we attempted to turn the uterus so that it was not compressing the same major arteries needed for blood flow. "Is she alright?" he ground out, barely managing to keep a lid on sanity. "There was significant blood loss as well as the fact that the artery looked to have been compressed to a dangerous level for several days".

"However" he stressed "we did manage to turn and shift the uterus successfully". "So is the baby alright?" "We're just going to do an ultrasound now to determine that, that's why I'm out here to invite you in. Although I'll warn you, Ms. Benson will still be in a good deal of pain. We can't give her any strong painkillers until we've determined if the fetus needs to be aborted". "I don't care what the baby is going to look like, or if there is any brain damage – you are not going to abort my child" he growled out.

The doctor smiled softly "Yes, that's exactly what your partner said when we told her. But I meant" he tried to soften his words "if there still a heartbeat or not". Elliot nodded grimly, now understanding what the doctor had been trying and failing to say.

He followed the doctor into a smaller room marked 'Emergency/ ICU ultrasound' and pushed the door open. Olivia was lying flat on her back on the table, Elliot watched through the window as she tried to put her hand to her belly but couldn't find a place that wasn't covered by the bandage that covered her incision and stitches. He walked through to her and swallowed back the embarrassingly tight lump in the back of his throat as he read the fear in her eyes. He reached for her searching hand and pressed it to his lips, despite the remaining bloodstains.

She closed her eyes tightly as she felt his lips press into her palm, relishing the feel of warm, strong flesh against her. The doctor removed the superfluous lengths of the bandage and squirted gel on her bared abdomen, which under the harsh glare of the lights looked so interminably small and insubstantial. Elliot could see where there would be bruises in a day or two as the doctor said there would be as well as a noted tenderness of her inner organs as the uterus etc. had been understandably bruised during the foreign manhandling of the operation. Needless to say, she would be very sore for the next several days. Olivia squeezed his hand and winced, but didn't make a noise as the ultrasound technician pressed the probe into her abdomen.

From his previous experiences with Kathy Elliot expected to hear the heartbeat almost immediately, but for several long moments – the only sound that could be heard was the terrified fast paced thump of Olivia's heart as she waited for proof that her baby was alive.

The technician frowned and pressed in a little harder before nodding, "Okay, the doctor you just spoke to mentioned the image might be harder to find due to the swelling" and after a moment of straining the ears to the silence Olivia and Elliot heard the tiny fluttering heartbeat of their baby. And it was the sweetest sound either of them had ever heard.

"There he is" Dr. Diangelo exclaimed, coming in the door with a chart in hand. "It's a boy?" Elliot asked from where he stood next to the exam table. The older woman smiled gently "No, I just don't like to call the babies 'it'. We'll find out the gender should you two wish at your next scheduled ultrasound at your 20 week appointment when we do a full anatomy count. That's also when the test results from your amniocentesis will be in" she explained "that's one of the tests we did today seeing as Olivia is over 35, there's a greater risk for abnormal growth and birth defects".

"But for now" she continued, seeing the stricken look on her patients' faces "everything looks to be just fine, considering what the little guy's been through today. Now Olivia, I see on your chart that you live alone in a walk up apartment. Are you close with any of your neighbours?" Olivia thought about the late work nights, and the taboo subject of her job in normal company and she shook her head.

"Not more than knowing last names" she said. "Why would you ask that?" "Well despite the fact that it looks as though this situation today has brought no lasting damage, your condition is a serious one and has the potential to turn fatal if exacerbated by a few things. I'm not at all comfortable with you living alone, especially later in the pregnancy as your stretching uterus will most likely cause the problem to flare up again.

As it were, I could settle for a neighbor looking in on you every hour or half hour and helping you with the more strenuous chores around the house but seeing as you have none I would strongly advise you to consider hiring at least a night nurse or moving in with a friend. I know you would hate to be put in the hospital, especially with another 23 weeks to go Olivia but at the same time, at your age and with this new complication you don't want to risk your own life or the baby's".

"Uh, excuse me – I'm the baby's father Dr. Diangelo, remember me? At Olivia's 12 week appointment we spoke." He tried to make his voice sound not as on edge but he couldn't help his tone when he felt like he was watching a train wreck unfold in front of his eyes. "I do remember Mr. Stabler, but Olivia made it clear at her next two appointments that she was trying to distance herself. However, in the current light of things I would say it's your best and probably only option Olivia, unless you feel that you and the baby are in danger with him".

Elliot rose to his feet, furious at the fact that this doctor thought he would do anything to hurt Olivia or their baby. But as he made to stand he became aware of his hand still holding onto Olivia's trembling one and he sat back down, glaring at the doctor as Olivia shook her head slightly from side to side. "I'm not scared of Elliot" she insisted "I just wanted a chance to get my own head together before bringing a life into this world that I'm responsible for".

"Good, it's settled then" Elliot looked satisfied with this new development and Olivia sighed softly as the doctor made a tick next to something on the chart in her hand. She handed them several sheets – a prescription as well as a list of instructions and guidelines for Olivia to follow as well as information about her newly discovered disorder:

"If the spotting has stopped by the morning and we find that the baby isn't in distress anymore I can release you from hospital midday tomorrow with the assurance someone will be able to drive you home and look after you for the foreseeable future".

Olivia wanted to protest against the doctor's wording, and would have were it not for the bump beneath her thin cotton hospital gown that she was so thankful was still there– as it meant her baby was still inside her. She nodded her assent, keeping one hand splayed over her belly, as if it could shield her baby from any harm.

**Don't forget, 10 comment rule please!**


	8. Chapter 8: Focus

**Hey beautiful people! See the power your comments have? I updated in less than 24 hours because I got 10 comments! So I think I'll be sticking with that new proviso for the time being. 10 comments before the next chapter as a rule!**

**Another thing, I appreciate every single comment I get, good or bad so don't hesitate to write to me. However, I just wanted to clarify something a lot of my readers have brought up. A lot of you guys have been saying that Olivia is being selfish and/or mean by not taking all of Elliot's offers of help...**

** I just want to point out that I am writing this to make it as true to character and story as possible. Sure, we'd all love for Olivia and Elliot to jump into bed together and declare their love in the first chapter, but their characters wouldn't do that! Each of them are emotionally vulnerable and stubborn to the very end, Elliot is fresh from a divorce and Olivia is desperately trying to do what is best for her baby, and protect herself from getting hurt.**

**It takes time. But never fear, this story is still most definitely EO, because after all...You can't spell love without the E&O :)**

Back in her hospital room, Olivia was able to sleep for a few hours – awkwardly curled on her side despite the numerous monitors strapped to her midsection that made it nearly impossible for her to move. When she woke later, Elliot was gone. She ran a hand through her hair as she tried to bring her mind back to full alertness – but the mild sedatives they had given her hadn't completely worn off yet.

There was a gentle knock at the door and Elliot stepped halfway in – "How are you feeling?" She grimaced and raised an eyebrow as he came and sat down next to her on the bed as best he could amongst the wires and IV tapes. He chuckled wryly and glanced at one of the multitude of beeping monitors next to her. "You feel up to visitors?"

She groaned and flopped her head back on the pillow "everybody knows?"

"Yep" he acknowledged, only halfway managing to keep a grin off his face. "If you're not feeling up to it though it's no problem – I warned them you'd been through a lot this morning. In fact, it's probably best if you just rest quietly". "El – I'm fine" she enunciated clearly "well, ok, not fine obviously-" she gestured to her surroundings "but certainly okay to see everyone". Elliot looked as though he didn't agree but got up and went towards the door anyway

"and Elliot?" He turned on his heel, hand on the doorknob "thank you, for saving my-our baby". He nodded and gruffly cleared his throat before going out to the waiting room to bring them in two at a time.

As she waited, Olivia sat up slightly, only to sink down back onto her pillows slightly as she was painfully reminded of the fresh surgery incision on the side of her stomach. "Oh baby, just how close did I come to losing you?" she whispered sadly as she looked down at the large bandage.

The door to her room opened again and a very round Alex Cabot burst in the door, waddling furiously over to the side of the bed. "Liv, Oh God Elliot called and I – I thought…" Olivia smiled gently at her friend as Elliot brought over a chair and helped her into it. "I'm okay – the baby's ok. It was a placental abruption brought on by a misplaced uterus" she explained, eyeing her friend's own grossly distended belly. Alex ran a hand over it and let out a deep breath "still, it's supposed to be me in that bed and you visiting" she joked.

Olivia laughed, but it was tempered by the pain of her incision stretching. "I know, I know, how close are you now?" "I still have a month and a half to go, can you believe it?" she bemoaned, a sadness tinged Olivia's smile as she glanced back up at the monitor showing her baby's heartbeat. "Be glad your baby's still in there and growing and healthy. I wasn't sure of how much my baby meant to me until today even though I thought I loved him or her before".

Alex took Olivia's hand in hers "I am. I might bitch about it – just wait you will too – but I am lucky and grateful" she assured her friend. "Ow, ha" she breathed and laughed as she ruefully rubbed a spot in the centre of her belly. "Did you want to feel your godson kick?" Olivia's eyes filled with tears and she nodded "Yeah, are you kidding?" Alex pressed Olivia's hand to the lower right of her stomach and covered it with her own.

Olivia looked up beaming before fixing her eyes again to the spot where she had felt Alex's baby kick; "Oh Alex". The two women laughed tearfully as Elliot stepped back into the room, shaking his head "now here's a day I never thought would come" he teased.

Alex squeezed Olivia's hand one last time before leaving, "your husband just got into the lobby" explained "when you left the note that said you were going to the hospital…" "Oh no, poor Colin!" Alex exclaimed guiltily, "Take care Olivia, I'll call tomorrow to see how you're doing".

Olivia raised a hand farewell and Elliot laughed. "Oh don't be so horrible, you're just as bad as her husband, worse even – worrying like a mother hen" she chided. "I can't even imagine what you'll be like when I go into labour". Elliot looked serious as he considered her statement, "so you'll let me be there during the birth?"

Olivia leaned back and studied the hopefulness in his face he was failing miserably at trying to hide "I can't make any concrete promises Elliot, especially after today but…I would like you to be there for the birth, yes. As much as I've tried to deny it to myself it's your baby too". His expression serious again, he took in her words, knowing how much it had cost her to say them; "thank you Olivia".

Another knock at the door signaled her next set of visitors. Fin walked in, and was closely followed by an enormous teddy bear, which walked over to a chair next to a door before a sheepish looking Munch appeared from behind it.

"John, you didn't have to. That's too sweet" her throat closed as she choked up. "What'd I do?" Munch looked to Elliot worriedly for answers as Olivia wiped away her tears. "Nothing" she croaked, smiling shakily "blame it on the hormones".

"How you doing babygirl?" Fin sat on the end of the bed "what is this, not telling me 'bout the baby". "I'm sorry Fin, really – god, it seems like all I'm doing is apologizing lately, I just needed to keep the news to myself for a while – it's all a little overwhelming". "It's done" Fin soothed "I'm just glad you're okay, and babygirl in there too" he nodded to her stomach. "We don't know if it's a girl or a boy yet" Elliot said, still hovering at the head of the bed. "Yeah, I know – but it still sounds better than 'it' and it's still a mini Olivia, so it's a mini babygirl".

"Between everyone at the station, this kid is going to come out needing therapy instead of mommy and me classes" Munch joked shaking his head. They got up to leave but Olivia held tight to each of their hands "I'm glad my baby is going to have such great – albeit crazy, uncles. Thanks guys". Munch and Fin blushed furiously and muttered something, but they left the room proudly beaming.

Cragen was the last one in, and Olivia was really feeling her surgery now but she wanted to see him anyways. "Hey Liv, how's our girl doing? Or should I say guys now that there are two of you". He joked lightly but Olivia could still see the worry in his eyes and in the deepened creases on his forehead. "We'll be fine in a week or so". "Well I don't need to say take all the time you need, you come back whenever you're ready, even if that's not until after the baby's born".

"Thanks Cap, I should be back in a couple of weeks at the most. The doctors ordered two weeks of limited activity at home and then I can tentatively start work, well – desk work, again at 20 weeks if everything still looks alright". Cragen nodded and smiled his eyes distant for a moment. "Rest up Liv, and know you can call on any of us if you need anything". "I know" she smiled, barely winning against the fight of her heavy lids threatening to close as she heard the door click shut as Captain Cragen left.

She yawned widely and Elliot instinctively put a pillow behind her back for support as she lay on her side as ordered so she wouldn't compress an artery again during sleep. As she turned more on her side as she fell asleep, the loose cotton gown pulled against her stomach and opened slightly, revealing the pale delicate expanse of flesh not covered by the monitors. Overcome, Elliot reached out a hand and curved his palm around the lower part of her stomach, where her belly was rounding into a defined bump. He brushed his thumb across the outermost swelling at her navel "I'll take care of you little one, Daddy'll make sure you and your mommy are safe. I promise".

Olivia moaned slightly in her sleep and shifted restlessly. She didn't want to let go of the dream she'd been having. Elliot had been rubbing her belly, which looked as though it was much closer to her due date, and talking to her and the baby. But then his image faded away into blackness and the reassuring warmth and pressure of his hand on her stomach melted away as well, leaving her feeling vulnerable and uncomfortable again until she went into labour in her dream completely alone and scared.

As Elliot moved his hand away from his baby, he noticed Olivia frown in her sleep and purse her lips. Still unconscious she rolled towards him slightly before crying out.

"Liv, Olivia – it's alright you're okay. Shhh its okay" he soothed as he brushed her hair back and she struggled back to wakefulness. "It was just a bad dream".

"Baby, alone" she mumbled as Elliot's touch eased her back into conscious thought. "The baby is fine, look – you can see her on the monitor". Olivia opened her eyes, fully awake now and stared intently at the computer screens on the right side of her bed.

As she took in the fact that her baby was all right and that she wasn't in labour she realized she had sat up quickly in her panic after she woke up and all the pain medication she'd been given had worn off again; leaving her incision site sore and her whole body aching.

Elliot helped her sit back, a concerned look on his face as her hand went automatically to her belly and she winced. He reached over and gently pulled the gown back again, his fingers just brushing the sensitized skin as he did. "Poor baby" he murmured into her hair as he kissed the top of her head "you're going to be so sore with all these bruises".

She switched her gaze from his face to her stomach and saw his proof. Patches of deepening reds and purples had started to blossom over her belly from where the surgeon had lifted and turned her uterus – unable to help from bruising the delicate organ.

She sighed as again, his hand eased some of the soreness and ache of her injuries. Elliot jerked his hand back at her sigh, "Did I hurt you?". She shook her head, lifting up his hand and gingerly placing it close to the incision site where she was hurting the most; "no it helps". He brought his other hand down to the bottom swell of her belly and she sighed again from the release of her pain. "Do you want me to call for more pain medication?" Elliot asked, rubbing softly where she had placed his hands. She shook her head, "No, s'not good for the baby" she mumbled as she was falling back asleep now that she was comfortable again.

An hour or so passed and Elliot's knees started to ache from kneeling on the cold floor for so long – but it was the only way he could get close enough to the bed to keep his hands where she wanted them, next to their baby.

Around seven o'clock a nurse came in; "I'm sorry Detective, but visiting hours are over. You can come back tomorrow at 9 to see her".

Elliot's mind reeled; he hadn't planned on leaving her alone for the night. What if something happened while he was gone? What if she had another nightmare and woke up sick and scared again. His lips tightened grimly as the nurse waited for him to leave.

Carefully, ever so carefully he eased his hand from under her waist – pulling up the covers before he kissed her lightly on the forehead. "If anything-"

"is wrong we will notify you immediately Mr. Stabler" the nurse finished his sentence for him and he nodded brusquely, still not happy with the situation.

As he followed the nurse out of the room he looked back, wincing at the twinge he felt when he saw just how small and fragile she looked in the large hospital bed despite her ever-growing size. He took one last glance at the monitors on every part of her body before closing the door gently behind him.

**Don't forget! 10 comments before the next chapter goes up! **


	9. Chapter 9: Baby Steps

**Alright, so I'm loving this whole '10 comment rule' until I upload! Sooooo, that means 10 comments until I upload! P.s. Just had a flash of inspiration and wrote the most adorable chapter with Eli :) Also, to those who are true blue SVU fans, I'm giving you a HUGE hint as to one of the ssurprises I have for you :) **

**One word: Calvin**

**Everyone else will just have to wait and see what I have in store for you all! xoxo, TLH**

Elliot could barely concentrate on the car ride home – his body might have been in the seat of his beat up blue Buick but his mind, not to mention his heart and soul – were back at the hospital with Olivia and their unborn child. Kathy had obviously taken Eli for the night when he'd called and explained what had happened. She'd been sympathetic at first until Elliot had told her that he was the father of Olivia's baby. "How in the hell could you have been so irresponsible? We've been divorced for barely a year and now you have knocked up some woman? What were you thinking?"

"It's not some woman, it's Olivia - Kathy. And you know damn well that I was never unfaithful to you while we were still married, so don't go playing the martyr. I'll give you Olivia's address and you can drop Eli off there Friday night for my weekend with him. Goodbye Kathy".

Sighing heavily he packed a few cases and threw them in the trunk of his car before driving over to Olivia's place. It was an easy decision to make, Olivia's apartment was closer to the station – and she'd be more comfortable in her own home if she was going to be spending a lot of her time in bed or resting – which he and the rest of the SVU squad were going to make sure she did. He let himself into her apartment and went into her bedroom.

Despite the fact that Olivia was carrying his child, going through her drawers to pack her some clothes to wear when she got out of the hospital seemed like a far more intimate thing as he grabbed a fistful of underwear – trying and failing not to look at the array of silk and lace strands that shot through the utilitarian blacks and whites like jewels.

What on earth was he supposed to bring her? Even though she would only be in the hospital another two hours after he came back at normal visiting hours at 9 am. He felt like he had the first time when Kathy was pregnant with Maureen – not knowing what to do or say or how to act. He felt like an adolescent teenager again, but with about 30 years tacked on for good measure.

After packing a bag for Olivia he still felt useless. He felt so impotent, knowing there was really nothing he could do to make sure she was really and truly safe or out of danger of miscarrying, which according to the private conversation he had had with the doctor after the ultrasound, was still a very real possibility – and would remain that way for the remainder of her pregnancy. The only thing they could do was pay attention to her body and keep going in for their regular doctor's appointments. As long as she didn't do any too strenuous after the 20 week mark, there was no reason she couldn't resume normal activity.

He moved around the couch and coffee tables so that everything would be within her reach from the couch. TV remote? Check. Telephone? Check. Laptop? Check. Saltines, ginger-ale, lip-chap and her pile of pregnancy books? Check, check, check and check. He even found one of the small silly looking wicker baskets every woman seems to have a million of and put in a pile of washcloths that he left beside the sink in the bathroom for when she was ill. Olivia seemed to be part of the group of unfortunate women who experienced morning sickness all throughout their pregnancy.

He also did a grocery run before finally falling asleep on the couch at 1 am, buying fresh fruits and vegetables and easy to put together meals he could fix easily after he came home from work.

What he didn't know was what she would be craving, knowing Olivia and the way she ate it could be anything under the sun. He wished he knew those things, knew everything about her life, everything about what he had missed in the 17 + weeks of her pregnancy. He could see the faint changes in her body, but a primal part of him yearned to feel them for himself with his own fingers over her bare skin – exploring the changes made by their baby.

Her breasts seemed larger, even the baggy clothes she had been wearing the last two months couldn't hide that fact, and her belly had swollen to a ripe curve – although she hadn't 'popped' yet in the way all women do when they're expecting a baby. If a passer-by saw her in looser clothes they still might think she just had a 'beer belly' instead of a baby bump.

At least he would be there for that; that and all the rest. Every bout of morning sickness, every new zipper that wouldn't close, every sore and swollen water retaining ankle, and every laugh and smile and tear and hope she had during this pregnancy. He would be there; and he wanted to be there.

He loved his other 5 children dearly, would gladly die for them, wouldn't trade them for anything in the world – and didn't regret bringing them into the world for a moment. But he was coming to realize a truth that had been with him for a very long time. One he hadn't had the opportunity, or the courage to face in years.

He loved Olivia – with a depth and a fierceness and a passion unmatched by anything he might have felt for Kathy. Sure he had loved Kathy, in a way he still did. But it wasn't the same kind of love. He could live without Kathy, easily and when he was at work, even during their marriage he hadn't felt the incredible pull he felt to Olivia even before she had been carrying his child in her belly.

Even if, God forbid, they had lost this baby and Olivia had miscarried or if they had never conceived this baby at all, he still would have come to this conclusion, only then it might have been too late. Now, if he'd thought that admitting his feelings was going to be the hard part – making Olivia see the truth in them and believe them would be twice as hard. For now he was just glad they were safe, and fell asleep counting the moments until he could go back to them, and go back to his heart.

Leaning back from the toilet bowl in the bathroom of her hospital room, Olivia thought she'd never been so happy to throw up. As it was, it meant that her baby was still tucked safely in her womb, and her body was producing the hormones to take care of it. She rose stiffly from her knees, holding one hand to the incision and shuffled back to bed. Now she was refusing any pain medication, all the anesthesia had worn off from the previous day's surgery and she was definitely feeling the after effects of everything.

It was little before seven in the morning now; she had a little more than two hours before Elliot came back. It frightened her just how much she wanted him with her. Wanted his strength and warmth and the reassuring breadth of his chest and arms to hold her when everything became a little too hard to bear. Wanted him to back her up with the doctors as he had yesterday when she told them she didn't want to take the risk of the morphine's effects on her baby. Wanted the velvet blanket of his voice comforting her when she had woken in the night terrified. Wanted him desperately, with a bone deep ache that had nothing to do with her injuries.

She curled up again, missing the soothing feel of Elliot's hands that had cradled her and their baby as she'd fallen asleep before. "Oh little one – your mommy doesn't really know what she's doing. She just wants to keep you safe…and so does your daddy sweet baby. So hold on baby, keep growing in there and getting big and strong until we can hold you in our arms. Because it looks like for better or for worse your daddy and I are going to be together for a while". She took her hands off her stomach long enough to beat her pillow down into a comfortable shape before drifting off to sleep again.

Olivia's eyes fluttered open, the bright light spilling through the curtains into her eyes waking her. But as she opened her eyes, it wasn't the blue patterned curtains she saw but Elliot's eyes as he smiled at her from where he sat. "Morning sleepyhead" he teased gently, "how are you feeling?" She inched herself up, allowing Elliot to help her into a sitting position "Eurgh, sore…and nauseous. But happy to see you, and happy our baby is safe". His smile broadened.

"I brought you some clothes, although Lord knows what you've ended up with. I didn't exactly know what you'd want" he said blushingly as she pulled out a skirt from the duffel bag. She raised a teasing eyebrow, "alright, alright I get it" he laughed, grabbing the offending garment back. He rummaged around in the back and pulled out an old pair of NYPD sweats and a soft cotton V-neck tee. Now serious, he knelt down beside the bed as he eyed her charts; "how was your night last night? Any more bleeding?"

Her eyes darkened slightly at the memory and she nodded, "there was more spotting around 1 am when I woke up to go to the bathroom. But the doctor said that since it wasn't all bright red that the baby should still be okay, and there was no dilation or effacement". She gave him the answers to what she thought he wanted to hear. He stroked her hair back, "and what about you? How are you doing?"

She smiled wanly, "I'm doing okay; a nightmare or two and the usual late night early morning hurling sessions but…" she shrugged, "other than that".

He moved to sit gingerly on the side of the bed and he lightly took hold of her shoulders. "I'm not leaving you again Olivia. It nearly killed me the last time and it looks like it nearly killed you". She opened her mouth to protest but he silenced her with a gentle finger overtop her lips. "I'm not saying that in any way this is your fault, I know you would do anything for this baby. But I need to be a part of its life Olivia. And" he took a deeper breath, "I need to be part of yours".

The arguments she was about to make died on her lips, melting into a warmth at his words and his touch. His hands moved down to cover her belly, gently stroking the bandage and she covered his hands with hers. Her pupils were dilated wide as she looked from her stomach to their hands to him, and he leaned in – pausing slightly before taking her lips with his. She gave in to the pleasure of the kiss with a contented sigh and deepened it, wanting him to feel every emotion she was putting into it, was putting on the line – for him.

After a few minutes they broke apart, and Elliot took one hand off of her stomach and cradled her cheek in the palm of his hand. "You mean everything to me Olivia". It wasn't quite the 'I love you' that he longed to have her hear and reciprocate, but he didn't know if she was ready to hear that, but at least it was a start.

"Alright, so you two know the rules. Restricted activity and bed rest for the next two weeks, and then if all goes well you can return to the exciting task of deskwork", the doctor repeated again as she signed the release papers.

"Is this really necessary?" Olivia griped, gesturing down at the wheelchair she had been forced into to leave the hospital; "Yup, standard procedure" the doctor chirped brightly back, seemingly oblivious to Olivia's distaste. "Ugh, fine. Can we go now?" she asked Elliot, twisting around so she could face him as he grasped the handlebars of the chair. "Let's go home" he smiled down at her.

She gave a small smile back and turned back to facing forwards, adjusting the waistband of her sweats as she did. Even though they were normally a loose fit, the elastic waistband hadn't stretched enough to fit around Olivia's stomach without pressing painfully into her bandage, so she had them tucked underneath her belly, hoping desperately that her shirt was long enough to cover the bare bump that was now exposed. Although now that the cat, or the belly so to speak, was out of the bag, she could start wearing some of the maternity clothes she had forced herself to buy a couple weeks prior.

They got to the car and Olivia felt a soft whisper against her hair, his lips teasing the back of her ear and neck – "stop fidgeting, you look beautiful". Olivia knew that was far from the truth, one look in her mirror this morning was enough to tell her she looked horrible. A vaguely gaunt and haggard face had stared back at her, with deep purple bruises around her eyes and hair falling in limp strands around her face. But it still sent a little thrill and shiver of excitement down her spine to know that Elliot found her still somewhat attractive, even if he was only saying it to make her feel better.

And it was with that thought that she allowed him to help her out of the chair, clutching his hand for support as she carefully climbed and sat down in the car, still holding her bag on her knees. Another light touch and a brush of heat against her waist made her look down, and she saw that he was still fiddling with the seatbelt, arranging it so that it sat snugly across her hipbones instead of her stomach.

He handled her with such heart-achingly tender care that she closed her eyes and tipped her head back to lean on the headrest, willing the tears not to fall, as they had so often lately with her ever changing hormones. She opened her eyes again to see Elliot staring at her with concern; she managed a tight smile and shook her head, telling him silently that everything was alright. "Thank you Elliot, I know this hasn't been easy or fair to you…" He silenced her with a brush of his thumb across her glistening eyelashes, still mirrored with unshed tears; "Don't worry about me Liv, I'll survive. You just worry about growing our baby in there, healthy and happy". "Healthy and happy" she repeated in a murmur as he broke off and went to walk around the car to put her bags in the trunk and get in the driver's side.

**Remember guys, 10 comments until next upload~**

**The next several chapters have got some drama up in heerrrrre between our favorite Elliot and Olivia, so COMMENT!**


	10. Chapter 10: Transition

**You guys know the rule! 10 comments before I upload again. So read away my darlings! **

**P.s. So I apologize if there are any spelling/editing errors. I stupidly cut my finger pretty badly so typing is going a little more lowly and painstakingly (literally haha) than normal. **

They were mainly silent on the way to Olivia's apartment, for the majority of the car ride Olivia had closed her eyes and put her hands palm down over her belly until she eventually fell asleep, trying to see if she could discern any faint movements or flutters of her baby, despite the doctors warning that it would be harder to feel movement because of the bruising and swelling, externally and internally.

Parking the car, Elliot walked around to the passenger side and started to unbuckle the seatbelt, sliding her off the seat and into his arms. "Elliot Stabler, if you try and carry me up to my apartment so help me you will never be able to father any children ever again" Olivia woke and said in a voice that was only half-kidding. He held her a moment longer, debating whether or not to continue this argument, he knew he had to lose some to win some…but still, he had the urge to ignore her protests and carry her up the 8 flights of stairs. Reluctantly he put her down and grabbed her bags out of the trunk before she could try and take one herself.

Only a few steps up, Olivia was regretting her decision. Despite the fact that she stayed in fantastic shape, she was exhausted by the time she was halfway up the first flight of stairs, her abdominal muscles already aching and her stitches pulling slightly. But she could feel Elliot's eyes burning a hole in her back, watching her with an intense vigilance for a misstep.

But only 4 stairs after that she was leaning slightly on the handrail, trying to inconspicuously support the weight of her belly with one hand. Elliot saw the faint wilt of her shoulders and settled a hand on her hip. She turned to him with anguished eyes and nodded. As he swept her up, she sighed heavily; "you were right El, but I don't need to hear the 'I told you so' speech right now". He shifted her slightly in his arms, balancing the bags on the crook of his elbow. "I didn't want to be right Liv, I just want…" "what's best for the baby I know" she retorted, turning her head away from his gaze – embarassed that she was so weak, that she needed him.

When they got to her apartment, she pulled away from him and walked toward her bedroom, avoiding his eyes. "I'm just going to take a shower" she called out over her shoulder. Looking at herself contemplatively in the mirror again she took off her clothes, letting them drop into a pile at her feet.

Her dark shoulder length hair was shot through with strands of honey and cinnamon red, framing her face – pale and scared as, wet from the shower, the beading droplets caught the light of the crystal candle holders she had put in the bathroom; brown eyes wide and mistrustful above the bruise coloured circles under her eyes that mimicked those on her body. Her small breasts had swollen almost a whole cup size so that they spilled out of her bra, filling her hands with their new heaviness when she felt them, the areolas changing colors to a deeper blushed tan.

She cupped her belly with her hands and turned slightly from one side to the other, examining her distended profile's reflection. It was still just a small curving bulge underneath her clothes – just having become enough for strangers and people on the street to guess she was obviously pregnant instead of fat. She ran her fingertips over her bloated stomach, lightly tracing around the bruises the surgery had left. Yes, her belly was still small. But she was fiercely proud of it, and overjoyed that in spite of the scare of the last few days it would continue to grow bigger yet as it swelled with her baby.

She slipped on an oversize t-shirt and pulled on a pair of shorts over her underwear considering Elliot was around. She padded out to the living room and looked into the kitchen, where she saw Elliot serving out portions of something onto two plates. He was so breathtakingly masculine, so strong and yet when he touched her it was with such tender reverence at times it made her want to cry, not that that was hard to do these days.

He caught her staring at him and his somber face broke into a smile. "Go, sit down, I'll be out in a minute with dinner". "This is my apartment you know" she grumbled almost underneath her breath, but the next moment she regretted her words. He was doing so much for her, even if she didn't necessarily want his help she knew for the moment she needed it, the least she could do was be a bit grateful.

"I didn't know how much you'd feel like eating so I just kind of threw together some soup and sandwiches, that sound okay?" he came out of the kitchen with two trays, setting one down on the table beside the couch for Olivia, and balancing the other on his knees as he sat on the recliner. "Sounds perfect"; she tried to smile up at him even though her stomach was rebelling at the sight of the food.

She made herself eat half of her tomato soup and grilled cheese, telling herself it was for the baby before easing back onto the couch cushions so she was curled up on her side, hugging a pillow around her stomach. "Are you done?" Elliot gestured to her half-finished plate and she smiled up apologetically, "yeah, sorry – between the baby and the swelling I don't think there's much room for food". "No problem" he smiled back and took the plates back to the kitchen, stuffing the other half of her sandwich into his mouth as he did.

He came back after loading the dish washer with a hot water bottle; he offered it to her and she groaned in thanks, taking it from him and pressing it to her cramping belly. Even as the warmth soothed away some of the achiness, she couldn't help but remember how much better Elliot's hands had felt last night in the hospital as they had stroked her and her baby to sleep.

Elliot flicked on the television and plopped down on the couch beside her, she rested her head on his leg and he gathered her closer so that her head was in his lap and he worked his fingers down the back of her head and neck, unraveling the tension that had gathered in her spine from carrying around the extra baby weight.

She moaned slightly in contentment as his capable fingers deftly released a knot. Abruptly his hands stopped and stilled, "does it hurt? Liv I'm sorry" he started, but she shook her head slightly as his hands started their work again, "no, it feels so good" she said in a breathy moan. Elliot felt himself grow hard as she arched her head and neck slightly, writhing in his lap at the sensations flowing through her solely from his touch.

"Olivia" now Elliot groaned as she turned into the hard length of him, teasing him as she realized what was happening. "We can't, not until you've been cleared at your 20 week appointment. Then, believe me sweetheart, I will ravish you." She laughed throatily, sitting back up so that she was upright.

But the moment her feet hit the floor, her stomach rolled and her mouth soured. She closed her eyes and breathed through her mouth, willing the feeling to pass. "Elliot" she whispered, not wanting to jar her roiling stomach by talking normally. He turned his head to see what she wanted and saw that her face had taken on a greyish tinge. He grabbed a plastic wastebasket he'd found in her cupboard earlier and placed it between her knees.

She had closed her eyes and was breathing shallowly, still fighting the rising nausea. Suddenly her shoulders shuddered and she threw herself forward involuntarily with the force of her heaving. Elliot had gathered her hair back at the nape of her neck and was rubbing her back soothingly.

"I'm sorry" she croaked out in a moment's respite; "Liv, don't be sorry. I know you don't want to be sick." He kept rubbing her back as she threw up again, "I'm sorry that your tummy's so upset. After all, it is kind of my fault" he added as an afterthought.

Normally Olivia would have bit back with a sarcastic remark, but as she hung her head over the garbage can, she just felt too miserable. After she seemed to have thrown up everything that was in her stomach, Elliot smoothed her hair back again, "will you be okay for a moment?" she nodded dumbly and he got up from the couch.

He came back a moment later with several damp cloths which he used to wipe her face and mouth, getting a fresh one for the back of her neck which had broken out in a sheen of cold sick sweat. Her stomach seized up again, but there was nothing left to bring up.

After another couple of moments though, the cool roughness of the washcloth and the soothing murmur of Elliot's voice brought her back to the present. She hadn't even realized she'd been crying, or that tears had escaped her eyes until Elliot brushed them away with his thumb.

Still curled into his shoulder, Elliot lifted Olivia up and carried her into her bedroom; sweeping back the covers to lay her down on the cool cotton before covering her back up again. He left again for a few minutes, and Olivia felt his absence, feeling the emptiness resonate in her ears and mind and much as she cursed herself for it, her heart. Elliot returned from washing out the garbage can and stopped at the entrance to her door.

"Elliot?" he walked over to the side of the bed where she lay curled underneath the blankets. "Wou – could you stay with me?" she asked in a small voice. "Just until I fall asleep", her fingers worried the hem of the blanket as she bit her lip. "It's just, I – that the cramping goes away when you're holding me. But on second thought, never mind. I'll be fine Elliot, good night".

She expected him to walk back out but instead he reached out to turn the hall light off and kicked off his shoes before settling himself down beside her. She snuggled into the firm breadth of his chest and he pulled her closer. He lay a hand over her expanding waistline, gently stroking his fingertips across it in a downwards motion.

Pulling aside the fabric of her t-shirt so his knuckles grazed her bare flesh, he started to rub her belly in slow soothing circles, hoping to settle her stomach and keep whatever meager amount of nutrition was in her stayed there.

His other arm cradled her shoulders and she sighed as she dropped off to sleep, laying her cheek in his palm and holding it there with her own hand, while its twin held her baby – protecting it even in slumber.

Elliot felt the release of her body as she drifted into exhausted sleep and kept up the motion of his hands, waiting until the faint jerky contractions of her upset stomach had stopped before allowing himself to close his eyes.

He was there when she woke in the night, sick and shaking from a dream. Neither of them were strangers to nightmares, it was a basic part of the job description when you worked in the unit they did. But still he rubbed her back and belly, murmuring soothing words until she was able to sleep again.

**Only 10 more comments til I post the next chapter! On your marks, get set, GO!**


	11. Chapter 11: I Won't Lose You Like That

**You guys are A-W-E-S-O-M-E! Which, I have to point out, also includes an E and O. Coincidence? I think not :) So you know the rules, AT LEAST 10 comments before the next chapter goes up! **

They both woke exhausted the next morning, but Elliot was glad to see that her colour at least was better than yesterday – and despite being so nauseous and sick to her stomach, she'd had no more spotting. "Good morning mommy" his lips brushed her forehead as her eyes blinked open slowly to the light streaming in from her bedroom window.

She smiled and sat up against the pillows, reaching her arms above her head and stretching out stiff muscles. As she did, the hem of her shirt rose up, revealing the thickening bulge at her waist. She looked down and tugged her nightshirt back down but Elliot's hand was in the way.

He slowly pushed her shirt up so that all of her bare belly was exposed. Olivia blushed slightly and bit her lip as he cradled it in both hands. "Beautiful, you are so beautiful. This is beautiful Olivia"; he took her hands, which had stilled in midair in surprise at his touch, and brought them down to the deep lower curve he held in his own.

She still looked so lost and unsure that Elliot's heart ached just looking at her – woman as she was, she still had that 'little girl lost' look on her face that begged someone to love her. He bent and pressed feather-light lips to her belly; starting at the hard nub of her pelvic bone, and working up to where the bulge mounded just above her belly button.

"I wish I could feel her move again, Olivia said sadly. I just want to feel her, kicking and alive in me so I know she's safe. "You will Liv; she's just resting right now. Like you should be"

"Ugh, how on earth am I going to manage doing next to nothing for the next 2 and a half weeks?" She looked down thoughtfully, Elliot's head still resting on her belly. "But I'll do it" her lips twisted into a rueful smile, "I'll do anything".

Her teeth caught her bottom lip again until Elliot caught her by the chin and lifted her face to his as he straightened, his body forming a protective cage over hers. She hated herself for being so weak, she hadn't cried so much ever as in the last 4 months.

"What is it Liv"; she put a hand to his chest as if trying to push him away before giving in to the tears. "How am I going to do this El? I don't know how to be a mother. I-I know I'm good with kids but" she clasped her hands to her stomach "this baby is going to depend on me for everything – and I will give him everything I have but I'm still not sure it's going to be enough. I thought I could do this but I feel like I'm already failing my child. I see pregnant hookers, and addicts and the teenage mothers in the station everyday – and I stupidly thought that I could do better than them, that I could do better for my child. But Elliot I can't, I can't even keep this baby safe in my own body. I'm physically failing as a mother -I know how close I came to losing him or her" her voice caught again and Elliot could read the sheer terror in her eyes as she wrung the bed sheet between her hands.

"Am I being selfish?" she voiced her old fear and this time Elliot couldn't resist the urge to gather her into his arms. Olivia didn't resist either, and buried her face in his shoulder – allowing herself to be weak for a moment, to fall apart and have someone else help to pick up the pieces.

He couldn't believe the woman sobbing into his chest was his partner, tough to the end - would bow to no one and no thing. "I can't even give my baby a family. If something ever happened to me on the job…" "Hey, hey – nothing's going to happen to you, and are you forgetting about me? I will always be there for our baby.

And I haven't had the chance to tell you – but the kids know. I called them; Maureen is absolutely thrilled, and crowing to the world that she was right about us. Kathleen – well Kathleen is Kathleen, the last time I talked to her she even asked about you and the baby so she'll warm up to the idea. And Dickie and Elizabeth are, and I quote using Dickie's words 'Awesome! Cool, I bet the kids going to be cute with Olivia for a mom. She's pretty hot in a mom kind of way'".

At this Olivia laughed brokenly, "and I was thinking that we could maybe broach the subject with Eli this weekend. And you know in an instant, Alex, Casey, Cragen, Fin and even Munch would be there for you, for your child if something ever did happen to both of us.

But Olivia, even if the baby had no other people in its life than who was in this room right now – it's still a family. We're a family Olivia, and I know that that is something you've never really had, but families don't walk out on each other. No matter how many times you kick me out that door Olivia, I will always be back, always".

He paused for a moment, "marry me".

Olivia didn't move for a second, then jerked back as his words sunk in – "No". She shook her head, sitting back and crossing her legs – needing distance from him so she could think clearly. "Liv, think about it. We both care for each other deeply, and this way the baby can grow up with two parents in the same home – not being shipped back and forth like Eli. It's not fair to the little guy.

Still, Olivia shook her head – dry eyed now even though her heart was breaking on the inside as she forced the word 'no' from her lips.** "I can't marry you Elliot, look how you and Kathy turned out. I, I could never lose you like that. So the answer has to be no"**. She closed her eyes tightly, bracing herself for the sound of the door closing but she heard nothing. She re-opened her eyes to see Elliot still sitting in front of her.

"Maybe that's a good thing" he agreed, "there needs to be trust in a marriage, and apparently you didn't hear a word I said a moment ago. I'm not going anywhere". She turned away again, crawling back underneath the covers, "I'm tired, I'd like to be alone for a while" she said coolly, not meeting his eyes.

Elliot got up and left without saying another word, a little while later a pale looking Olivia came into the living room.

"Look, can we just get through this first, and, and deal with whatever comes after later? I didn't want to marry you because I didn't want to jeopardize our relationship. But look what's happening now, we're already fighting, and I don't want to do that, I know you care about this baby and I would never stop you from being a part of its life, but I won't marry you because of an unplanned pregnancy – I won't marry anybody unless I can be sure of their love, not because circumstances or the humors of fate have thrown us together. Okay?"

Elliot sighed deeply before nodding, a small smile forming on his face; "okay" – he threw his hands up "one step at a time". Arm still crossed she shuffled over to the couch and plopped down beside him. The feel of her warm body pressed against his side nearly had him coming undone, but he forced himself to un-tense and stare at the tv – trying to focus on anything else.

The movie they'd been watching finished and Elliot turned to Olivia, "do you still feel up to having Eli stay over for the weekend? If you're not I can call Kathy and she can take him again. "No, no, have him come over – did you bring some of his stuff with you from your place? I know how much your time with him means to you. Besides, I'll be needing all the practice I can get before my little guy gets here" she assured him with a smile.

Elliot leaned over and kissed her forehead, "Thanks Liv – I don't know if you'll be saying that after a full weekend with a 3 ½ year old, but thanks for saying it anyway". She smiled and covered a yawn with her hand. "What time is Kathy dropping him off anyway?" "On Fridays she works so we'll get him around 4:30. But next week she's taking him to her mother's for 2 weeks, so she's picking him up Sunday morning at 11 am".

Olivia nodded, "sounds good. If it turns out we have Sunday afternoon free do you think you could drive me over to the mall? I desperately need some maternity clothes – I'm sick of walking around with 3 inches of belly exposed like a teenager. I'm 42 years old, almost 43" she joked before adding sadly "some people are going to think I'm this baby's grandmother by the time they're in grade school".

"That's ridiculous Liv. You won't even be 50 by the time he starts elementary school and besides – no one could ever mistake you for a grandmother. And besides" he added, not wanting to scare her off again with serious declarations "this" he patted the part of her stomach her top left exposed "is seriously sexy. If it were up to me you could walk around with no clothes on at all".

She hefted herself up from the couch, "what, and risk Greenpeace storming the city because someone reported a whale walking around? ha! No thanks".

Elliot smiled to himself and waited a moment before getting up to follow her to the kitchen, watching appreciatively as he watched her from behind as she walked down the hall thinking "Stabler, what the hell have you gotten yourself into?".

Olivia stared down at the glass of milk and half of sandwich on her plate as compared to Elliot's full one and cold beer. "I know I'm getting fat, but is a diet really necessary?" "You get the other half when you've proved you can keep that half down" Elliot said between bites. "Did the same thing with Kathy when she had the twins"; as Olivia bit into her sandwich she couldn't help but feel the slightest pang of regret that this was old news to Elliot, when everything she was going through felt so new to her.

"Hey" he chucked her gently under the chin, making her look at him. "I'm just as scared and excited as you…everything feels like the first time with you". She smiled and batted his hand away feeling embarassed, "you're a detective through and through Stabler" she said wryly as she took another bite of her sandwich, washing it down with a swig of milk.

"Alright, back to bed with you. You've spent enough time on your feet" he swept her up into his arms and carried her into the bedroom. "Elliot I've done nothing all day, I'm fine!" she insisted half laughing half completely exasperated.

"Humor me", he placed her down on the duvet and she grimaced up at him. "You wanna be up for when Eli comes tonight right?" She groaned and flopped back defeated by his logic. "Fine" she called out as he left the room again, "oh – and El, would you mind just grabbing me another hot water bottle for the cupboard?"

He appeared again immediately, leaning against the doorframe speculatively. "Are you cramping again?" "Just a little, but it's not anything like last time – I think it's just because I just ate". "Liv" he said warningly. "I'll be fine, just grab me the water bottle and I promise you I will stay put until Eli gets here".

"I can get it for you, but Olivia" he held a hand up, motioning for her to let him finish before she spoke; "I can be there for you too, like last night. I know you don't want to complicate things in our relationship but if it's what's best for the baby…" he trailed off, letting her think.

Another nauseous twinge in her belly had her nodding. "Okay…but this doesn't change anything El. We both know we're attracted to one another" she grinned ruefully "this little one is proof positive of that fact but, I still haven't changed my mind about marrying you. I don't want to lead you on under false pretenses."

Elliot crawled into bed next to her and took her into his arms, "Com 'ere Detective Benson and stop being a cop for a moment" he teased gently.

As his hands moved rhythmically over her stomach, settling it so that what made it down stayed down she murmured "I still can't believe I'm pregnant". "But I'm so happy I am…" she trailed off yawning and buried her head deeper in the pillows as she succumbed to the tender massage.

**Next chapter we get to meet Eli and see his reaction to becoming a big brother :) So comment X 10 !**


	12. Chapter 12: 'Livia & Eli

**Took a lot longer to get to 10 comments this time...Keep reading and commenting!**

**So are you all ready for some Eli adorableness? Hope so!**

"Ugh, I actually feel vaguely human again", Olivia slipped out of bed around 4 o'clock in the afternoon and changed into sweats and a t-shirt after showering. "What are we planning on doing with Eli tonight?"

"Well I figured since we'd be heading out early to the zoo tomorrow, we could just have a lazy night in. Watch some movies, order in takeout".

"Sounds perfect" she smiled and yawned as she threw her hair up into a short ponytail; "What'll we order in?" She sat down cross legged on the bed and grabbed the phonebook.

"Well, what does Baby Benson-Stabler feel like?" he nodded towards her bump, watching it shake as she laughed at his comment. She thought for a moment, "pizza" she stated decisively. "Yup, pizza sounds excellent" she patted her belly with that statement laughing.

Her laughs turned a shriek of surprise and then more laughter as the doorbell rang and Elliot scooped her up, blankets and all and carried her to the couch where he'd set up the movies.

Elliot opened the door to see a tight-lipped Kathy standing next to their son. "Daddy!" "Hey buddy what's up" Elliot swung his son around before hefting him onto his shoulders like a sack of potatoes; "daddy you're silly" the little boy giggled, his blonde curls bouncing.

"Livia!" Eli scrambled down off of Elliot's shoulders and ran towards the couch "Hey tiger" she laughed as the little boy threw himself at her. "Thanks Kathy, we'll have him ready for Sunday morning. Drive safe".

Elliot shut the door just as Kathy opened her mouth to say something, and from the expression on her face as she stared at Olivia's stomach, it wasn't something Elliot wanted to hear or have Olivia hear.

"You sick, Livia?" Eli eyed the blankets and pillows and the unfamiliar sight of his friend lying on the couch. "A little bit, kiddo. But I'll be fine" she assured him.

Eli snuggled down next to her on the couch once he'd had his bath and gotten into his pj's. "Now who's ready for pizza?" Elliot announced, shutting the front door after paying the delivery guy. "Me!" Olivia and Eli's hands both shot up in the air. Elliot sat down on the opposite end of the couch, his little guy's body curled in his lap with his head resting on Olivia's shoulder with his thumb in his mouth.

With everyone comfortably piled in together on the sofa, Olivia had shrugged off most of the blanket, not needing the extra warmth anymore. Eli startled at the movement of her removing the blanket. His mouth dropped open and he lowered his hand. "Livia?"

"Yeah Buddy?" "Why is your tummy bigger?" He cocked his head to one side confused, short blonde curls falling askew. Elliot snorted and Olivia laughed and threw her head back wiping her eyes. "I'd say we have another detective Stabler on our hands here" she joked.

Shifting slightly she turned more towards Eli and smoothed her shirt over her stomach. "My tummy is getting big because there's a baby growing in there". Elliot smiled down at Olivia over Eli's head and she smiled knowingly back. "How'd a baby get in there?" he asked, looking skeptically at the bulge under her shirt. Elliot raised his eyebrows and shook his head wordlessly, "this one's yours mama". She rolled her eyes overtop of Eli's head before looking down again. "Well honey, every mommy and daddy have a special part of their body – it's the stuff we don't show anybody right? – so when the mommy and daddy come together in a special way, a part of the daddy and a part of the mommy come together inside a part of the mommy's tummy" she paused for a moment and looked up at Elliot "and if they're very lucky, God puts a baby inside the mummy, and it grows, and then when it's ready, the baby comes out and grows up into a little girl or a boy, like you" she tweaked his nose on the word 'you' and Eli giggled. The expression on the little boy's face grew serious, he leaned over cautiously and put both hands on Olivia's belly where she covered his tiny ones with her own – he looked up at her.

"So there's a baby in your tummy?" he asked, looking at his father for confirmation. "Yup" Elliot placed his own roughened hands over Olivia's so that all three of them held the new life.

"Yup" Elliot repeated, "that's your little brother or sister in there".

"Whoa" the little boy's eyes widened "cool!" Olivia laughed more in relief this time and wiped away a stray tear that had escaped as she'd seen their hands together over the new life that would be a part of this family.

The little boy's mouth turned down at corners slightly and he narrowed his eyes as if thinking hard about something, his little face screwed up in concentration. "If you're sick Livia, the baby's sick too?"

"We're both going to be fine Eli" she reassured him "but the baby is so little right now he couldn't survive outside my tummy, and if I get really sick the doctors might have to take him out early. So we're being extra careful so I don't get more sick, okay buddy?"

"Okay" the toddler rubbed his eyes and yawned, "I'll help you take care of our baby, kay?" "Alright sweetheart", Olivia stroked his hair as his eyes grew sleepier and he nestled into her, head resting across 'his baby'.

When Eli had fallen asleep, Elliot picked him up and carried him into the guest room "G'night Eli" he whispered, dropping a kiss on his son's forehead. " 'Night Daddy" came the sleepy muffled reply from the little boy, whose thumb had made it back into his mouth now gone slack with sleep. Elliot shut the door behind him quietly. He walked back to the living room, "so about tomorr…" he stopped.

In the time it had taken him to put Eli to bed, Olivia had fallen asleep on the couch; one hand cradling her head against the armrest of the couch, and the other protectively covering her belly. Elliot smiled, he watched her for a moment, studying her as she slept.

He picked her up, walking slowly into her bedroom he shoved aside the covers with his knee and lay her down. Her brow wrinkled slightly as she hit the pillow and her lips pursed, but as he covered her up with blankets her forehead smoothed out again as she sighed and shifted into a better position in her sleep. Not wanting to scare her if she woke, Elliot took the couch for the night.

"Hey Eli, shhh, remember we don't want to wake Olivia okay" the little boy nodded and put a finger to his lips as he carefully put his plate in the sink the next morning after breakfast. Olivia leaned on the doorframe of her bedroom and crossed her arms, smiling at the scene in front of her.

"Is Livia comin' with us?" "No baby I'm not. But I want you to go have a great time, and tell me a-a-all about it when you get back, alright munchkin?" She bent down and tickled Eli.

"Kay. Bye Livia!" he ran to the front door and plopped down, trying to put his shoes on by himself and tie the laces. "Hold on there, tiger, I'm coming" Elliot called out after his son. He turned to Olivia, who was straightening up and he gave her an arm. "Thanks" she said a little breathlessly.

"Now, I have my cell on. If you feel anything or need something you call me" "I get it El, go have a good time with your son – I'll see you tonight", he studied her face a little more intently. "Are you sure I can't make you something to eat before I go? I thought you might sleep later so…"

Olivia mock groaned and put a hand to her belly. "Junior here had me up early, deciding whether to pee or throw up first" she said wryly "but, when you come back this afternoon, if you could bring me back peach yogurt, Ben & Jerry's rocky road ice cream and jalapenos, that'd be great. She wrapped her arms around his waist and hips and pecked him lightly on the nose.

"That's some weird appetite that kid's got" Elliot joked as he walked towards the door, "and pretzels!" Olivia called as the door clicked shut.

She wasn't sure he had heard her until she heard a deep laugh from the hallway and a voice say something like "crazy…liv…next thing…pickles". She shuffled over to the couch; arms still wrapped around herself and lay down again, smiling to herself and thinking maybe, things would turn out okay for once in her life.

**10 comments until next chapter goes up. So, READY...SET...COMMENT!**


	13. Chapter 13: Declarations

**So in this chapter, we have more Eli and more smut! What more could anyone ask for :) I have a couple more chapters pre-written but I'm so glad you all like my Eli scene :) He was our sunshine before the storm we're going to see in later chapters. But it's not a storm between El and Olivia, nope - you'll just have to wait and find out! I was on a roll yesterday and, not to brag but really I am, I got over my crummy writer's block and managed to put down a whole new 3,628 words. Which hopefully will make up for time lost, my WI-FI's not working so I'm laptopless for the moment which is a real pain. **

**Anyways, you know the rule! 10 comments before the next chapter goes up!**

When Elliot and Eli came back into the apartment around 6 that evening, Olivia was glaring at the tv, openmouthed. "Have you ever seen this show? There's been a marathon on all afternoon. These people are idiots!" she gestured toward the tv with the remote in her hand; "how are they all not infected with STD's? If they charged per hour, they'd make more than the hookers they make fun of… It makes me want to call down to the Jersey precinct and and…" Elliot watched in morbid fascination at the two teenagers or young adults climbed in the hot-tub, their fondling and making out matching the steamy atmosphere until the guy undid the top of the girl's bikini. As her head submerged under the water, Olivia and Elliot both snapped back to their senses – Elliot covering Eli's eyes while Olivia switched it off".

"Ookay then so how was the zoo, guys?" she asked, switching the conversation to a more G rated topic. "It was awesome! Livia you shoulda been there, I got to feed the giraffes!" the little boy burst out, bubbling over in excitement as he described his day out and all the animals he and his dad had seen. "They were my favourite" he said seriously "Look! I even got a toy one". Eli rummaged around in his jeans pocket, pulling out a small toy giraffe. The boy paused for a moment, brow furrowed, "I wanted a real one, but dad said he wouldn't fit in my bedroom" Olivia tried to hide her snort of laughter at the little boy's serious expression as he looked up at her earnestly. "That was probably a good idea" she recovered, "there'd be no room in bed for you if there was a giraffe in there. And besides, he'd stretch out all your pajamas". Eli rolled with laughter, "that's silly Livia, giraffes don't wear pajamas".

"But little boys do after they've had their baths", Elliot chased a giggling Eli down the hallway into the bathroom.

Olivia wandered in after a little while and sat on the edge of the bathtub; "look Livia! My giraffe can swim!" Eli swam the little plastic giraffe in and out of the water like a dolphin. "Aaallright buddy time for bed, you gotta be up early tomorrow so mommy can take you to grandma's"

"Okay" the little boy pouted for a moment at the thought of going to bed but then his head perked back up; "Can Livia help us read a bedtime story?" Elliot looked over at Olivia and smiled "I think that can be arranged". Elliot sat on the foot of the bed and held up the picture book while he and Olivia took turns reading parts and doing the different voices. But by the time Goldilocks had gotten to the softest of the three beds, Eli's head had drooped down, heavy and warm on Olivia's shoulder. Elliot gathered the covers up around him and Olivia bent over the bed and kissed him on the forehead before following Elliot out the door.

She leaned against it and looked at Elliot, "What? What is it?" she smiled wryly and looked down, "you know we'll be doing this pretty soon" Elliot stepped forward and rested a warm hand on her belly, which she covered with her own. "I'm so happy you said we" she looked up blinking back tears and leaned forward. Elliot kept one hand on her stomach and moved the other up her arm and shoulder to rest gently against her cheek, letting her make the final decision.

They stood that way for three minutes, eyes half closed, lips almost brushing, barely breathing – until Olivia wrapped her arms around him and pressed her mouth into his with a little moan that made Elliot feel as though he could lose it right there. His hand moved from her cheek to cradle the back of her head, running his fingers through her dark hair as she held his face in both hands, pressing her closer to him. She broke off for a moment, breathing heavily; head down so Elliot couldn't see her eyes.

He thought she'd changed her mind again and was trying to get a grip on his reeling emotions when she lifted her eyes up to meet his, and he saw a determination and a hope and a fire in them that he recognized as 'his' Olivia, the Olivia he knew and was realizing he loved.

"Hey" he whispered, lips curving into a smile "hey yourself" she whispered back before kissing him again, with a passion and a fervor that nearly knocked him off his feet. She pressed into him, the curves of her body molding to his in the sweetest way imaginable. He had his hands on her hips as she was with her back against the wall, and as he leaned in he could feel the small firm swell of her belly against his groin and he groaned into the kiss; "Olivia Benson you'll be the death of me". She laughed throatily, her tongue teased his lips and in one swift movement had her straddling his waist as he held her to him with her arms around his neck. She arched against him, desperate for the natural movements of his lower body that would give her release.

"Doctor...oh God...said..." she breathed, before inhaling sharply as Elliot walked over to the couch with her still straddling his waist, legs wrapped around him. "Doctor said no penetration but I asked him and that one little rule doesn't include foregoing orgasm". His lips brushed against her ear and closed around it and she found she was shivering. But shivering in the best of ways; his hands moved down until his palms were flat against her nipples. He stayed still a moment, feeling them harden and peak even further with his touch.

He slid a hand slowly up her back, releasing the catch of her bra while she slipped her t-shirt over her head. He took one pink tip between his thumb and forefinger, rolling it between them until she shook in anticipation, "now…please" she ground out between gasps of pleasure at the pulls deep inside her body, shimmering with the overtones of climax. "Patience is a virtue" he teased gently before taking her into his mouth. Her breasts were perfect he thought as his mouth closed over one and then the other, lathing the swells with his tongue until they glistened and Olivia cried out as the cool air hit them as he withdrew his mouth.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead, her mouth and then to her belly referencing its precious contents, letting her know she was perfect, beautiful and releasing any last bit of inhibition she may have had. His lips traveled down further until they reached the lacy ridge of her panties which he removed with a quick swipe of the hand. Olivia's hips bucked as his fingers whisked across the tight curls at the apex of her thighs.

She ground her hips against him, but he kept up the tantalizing pace and pressure, he slid a finger into the depths of her femininity, squeezing his eyes shut in prayer of control as he felt how hot and wet she was. He swirled a finger around and he heard her breathing stagger, changing in pitch as he hung deliciously and precariously on the edge of orgasm.

He pressed a second finger to the swollen bud and he felt her stiffen and cry out, waves of pleasure pulsing and tightening around his fingers. She fell back against the couch gasping, still reveling in the sensation of the most intense orgasm. He retrieved her t-shirt from the floor and pulled it over her head "you tempt me far more is fair" he growled, taking her open mouth with his, feeling her satisfied and languorous response as she slid her hands over his body.

Catching her breath, she asked one question "why?" The question in her eyes pierced his heart, pride was one thing Elliot Stabler had plenty of, but in that moment he forwent it all.

"I want everything for you. I would give you everything I own to see you smile when you smile at me. I think about you, every moment of every day. Even before you got pregnant, I wondered – where is she? What is she doing? And who is she with? I've watched you every day for the last 13 years. I know you Olivia Benson, every part of you – even the parts you would wish away, and wish never had existed".

"And you know me, every bit of stupid pride and anger and every vulnerability, you see it. I need to be with you, every moment. Even if God forbid it we had lost this baby, this tiny precious miracle" he kissed her belly again "I would still want to spend every moment of my life with you. I love you, you Olivia Benson, with all of my being. It's you, it has always been you, always, from the moment you walked into the squad room 13 years ago. And it will always be you".

"Oh Elliot" she whispered, tears running down her face "I've been so scared, so afraid of what might be inside me because of my past that I never allowed myself to let anyone in. But you, you got in despite every wall I have bricked up in my soul. I watched and I waited and I died inside every day for 13 years wanting you. Even now, I feel like I'm going to wake up and find myself alone in my apartment with no baby and no you in my life.

And it scares the hell out of me that I feel this way, that I have allowed someone to get so close that they could hurt me in ways physical wounds never could. But you – you're like a balm, or honey for my soul. You make me feel like I am the only person, the only woman in the world and a part of me; the scared girl inside of me wonders why I deserve it. I'm not scared when I'm with you. All the hurt all the ache goes away – and I am the person I want to be. I feel like I'm me when I'm with you.

I love you so much that I've tried to push you away, because you are the only person who has the power to destroy me, even though I know you would never do anything to hurt me. I – I love you Elliot; I want to be with you. I want to have your babies and be with you the rest of my life, growing as old and grey and absent minded as Munch and Cragen. I love you Elliot and it will never be any other way".

He brushed away her tears with his thumbs as he cradled her face, bringing to his again as he kissed her…softly, tenderly -promising with his heart and his lips that he wasn't going anywhere.

She gasped into the kiss and stilled, "what? Liv what is it?" She held up a hand, motioning for him to stay still and she pushed her robe out of the way before she looked up at him again, eyes shining with new tears of happiness.

She paused for a moment more, shaking her head disbelievingly – "I felt it". She stared down at her belly, "I felt the baby again". Tears spilled out of her eyes again as she clung to Elliot's shirt.

"Hey, hey what's the matter? the baby's ok"

"I know" she choked out in shuddering sobs. She gave a half laugh half sob as she released her grip on his now soaked shirt, "I just, now I know he's okay. I didn't quite believe it until now. That was part of the reason I was trying so hard to pull away from you. I didn't know if you would want me if I lost the baby"

Elliot's eyes filled with anger and hurt, but looking at Olivia, knowing her, knowing her past, he understood why she'd fought so hard. It was self-preservation.

"But now I know you do" she continued, her eyes dry now. "And you know that I love you, and I'm going to try my hardest to not put up that wall in my soul again, to not be afraid of love like I have been". Elliot pressed his forehead against hers, letting only a single tear fall as he traced the prominent contour of her stomach.

Looking into her eyes again he said "I will love you forever Olivia Benson. You are my heart" he kissed each angry bruise on her midsection. "Your mother is the bravest person I know, you are incredibly lucky to have her as your mother, little one. I can't imagine anyone loving anything more than she loves you, than we love you" he cocked his head to one side and took Olivia into his arms into bed "as much as I love your mama".

Olivia sighed; it was bliss being able to fully lie with Elliot, not being afraid to curl next to him, to take comfort in the warm breadth of his chest and fold his hands around her stomach with her own. If life stayed like this, it would be perfect.

**1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 more comments guys!**

** I LOVE hearing from you :) Every time my little hotmail browser thingme gets a new little (1) beside it I get all warm and fuzzy hoping its you guys! So write away!**


	14. Chapter 14: Working Up

**Hello my wonderful, beautiful readers. I'll be out tomorrow and I'm close to 10 comments so I'm posting now so I don't have to leave you in suspense. You can thank me by commenting! ;)**

**So don't forget, 10 comments before the next chapter!**

"Do you know how much harder it is to fasten a gun clip to your pants without a proper waistband?" Olivia groused as Elliot emerged from the shower the morning she was allowed to go back to work.

"You don't need a gun clip Liv, you're not getting anywhere near a perp except for questioning him in the interrogation room".

She shot him a glare in the mirror as he came up behind her, "you sure you're ready to go back to work?" he rubbed her growing bump and she covered his hand with hers. "Yes", she assured him vehemently. "If I have to spend one more day cooped up in bed I'll go crazy…even more so than I am now" she paused and retorted knowing what Elliot was thinking of saying.

Despite the clothing between them, Olivia felt Elliot grow hard. She moaned slightly, pressing himself against him, her back to his front. "I can't wait until the doctor gives us the thumbs up for sex".

She let her head fall back as Elliot moved his lips down her neck and throat. "You and me both" he murmured, lips still traveling along her silky skin. "Although Lord knows how you still find this attractive". Her breathing hitched at the end of the sentence as he spun her around, kissing her hard. "Never doubt it" he growled.

Walking towards the front car he grabbed the keys from the blue ceramic bowl in the entrance way and tossed them to her. She caught them in both hands and raised a questioning eyebrow. "Wanna drive?" she grinned and headed out the door, relishing her newfound freedom. With any luck, after their 20 week appointment scheduled for the coming Friday, she'd be coming into even more.

"Hey Liv!" Munch looked up from his desk and cracked a rare smile. "Hey Babygirl!" Fin came from around the corner and gave her a hug. "Damn Babygirl number two is getting big in there" Olivia laughed in pretend shock "thanks I think". "It's good to see you".

She tilted her head to one side, tucking a fallen piece of hair behind her ear; "thanks guys, and don't worry – I'm back for good. Back and bigger than ever" she joked.

Cragen smiled out from the door of his office, watching his detectives welcome Olivia back into the fold, laughing and joking about how much she'd 'grown' in the past two weeks.

He straightened up and walked out into their midst. "It's good to have you back Liv" he laid a hand on her shoulder and she smiled up at him, nodding slightly. "Now I hate to break up the fun but I just got a call. Elliot I need you to go question a possible suspect for the George case. Munch and Fin, a body's just been found in Central Park, go check it out".

The Special Victims Unit cleared as everyone grabbed their coats and headed out, leaving Olivia wishing she could be out there with them. Cragen eyed the woman he'd come to think of as his daughter, "I know it's hard, Olivia". She smiled resignedly back "anything's better than bed rest" she told herself as she turned her chair back around to face her computer.

She spent the morning looking up possible suspects on the George case, coming up mostly empty. It had been two weeks since Elizabeth George had disappeared from her local market without a trace, it wouldn't be as worrisome if the woman hadn't been close to 7 months pregnant.

She frowned and rubbed her own swollen stomach as she stared at the woman's case file, sending up a silent prayer of thanks that her own baby was still safe, and moving gently inside her.

Around 12 o'clock the members of SVU had gathered back for a team brief and from the expressions on everyone's faces – the news wasn't good. Fin moved over to the large screen, typing in a sequence on the keyboard that brought up Elizabeth George's smiling face.

Cragen glanced over at Olivia, looking unsure for a moment before he continued on:" Elizabeth George's body was found this morning in the northeast corner of central park. As you all know she was seven and a half months pregnant with her first child with her partner Dennis George".

A second image appeared on the screen of the two in what appeared to be an engagement photo; they were both smiling as he held her face in his hands. The image changed to show the official morgue photo of the dead woman's face.

"The baby" Olivia cleared her throat "what about the baby? If it wasn't found with the body there's still a chance it could have survived. Have we sent a team out looking for it?" Her voice faded and died as she noticed the grim expressions of her friends and co-workers, and expression that turned to pity as they looked at her.

Cragen looked at Elliot as if waiting for permission to continue or for an answer, "Captain, guys, look. I appreciate your concern" she held out her hands in supplication "really I do. But I'm pregnant not dying or disabled. I am the still the same cop I was before, and I want to find the sonofabitch who's done this like you all do".

"And I know I'm on desk duty but that doesn't mean I'm not still involved in the cases. I need to know all the information you do so I can do my job and help find this killer. I've been medically cleared and I can decide what is too much for me. Understand? Just let me do my job" she finished, sitting down again and sending a look towards Elliot and Cragen that told them to continue.

Cragen gave her a long look before starting again, "the baby was cut out the womb and laid beside the mother". Olivia's stomach turned and bile rose up in her mouth as the next image appeared on the screen.

The crime scene photograph showed the woman's body, mutilated and with obvious signs of pre and post mortem torture. Her arms had been crossed across her chest, posed as if for death but the perp had opened her legs and broken them, permanent marker scrawled across her body read "slut, bitch, and guilty whore.

Even more horrific was the sight of the infant beside her, tiny body pale and still in death. It had been placed several feet from the mother and wrapped in rags. "Do we have a suspect?" Olivia choked out as her friends looked at her with sympathy. "Tell me we have some idea of who this monster is."

Cragen sighed and rubbed his eyes "we have a man in custody, but not a lot to hold him on. Vaughn Hayes has been previously charged with domestic abuse, assault using a deadly weapon and sexual assault. The infant was actually found in a dumpster less than two blocks away from his apartment. The dumpster also contained garbage and items belonging to Mr. Hayes, but he claims that his own unit was under maintenance and tenants had been unable to throw away their trash. The super confirms his story but I want to see if we can get anything out of him before his wife comes to pick him up, I've already gotten an earful from her over the phone. Apparently she's pregnant as well, and not happy her husband's in custody".

"Olivia, talk to the wife" he gestured to her stomach with one hand, "woman to woman. See if you can get anything out of her regarding her husband's behaviour".

"Got it cap" Olivia smiled, yes! She finally felt like she was doing something instead of just menial paper-filing.

A black haired woman who looked to be several months pregnant burst through the squad room doors, "where is my husband?" she demanded, cracking her gum behind overly bright lips "and where is this Captain Cragen I'm supposed to be talking to".

Olivia stood from where she was sitting at her desk to greet the woman, "I'm Detective Benson…" she started to say. But as soon as she stood, coming out from behind her desk the woman rushed over. "Hey, I see you're expecting too!" Mrs. Hayes ignored Olivia's proffered hand and placed both of her own hands on Olivia's stomach.

Olivia's eyes widened in shock, if this was the way pregnant women greeted each other it was news to her. She took a step back and held out her hand again, Captain Cragen came over and looked at Olivia who shrugged. "Mrs. Hayes, I'm Captain Cragen; your husband is free to go, we just want to ask him a few questions. Is it all right if Detective Benson asks you a few questions about if you saw anything suspicious in the area last night?"

"Oh sure, sure, we can swap war stories" she winked and followed Cragen to one of the interview rooms. He looked back at Olivia who was following him and she shook her head mouthing "I have no clue".

"So honey, how far along are you? The woman pulled out a chair and made a show of sitting down and adjusting her shirt. Olivia smiled closed lipped "ah…almost 5 months". "The other woman's eyes lit up brightly, "wow just a few weeks more than me".

"Now Mrs. Hayes, last night did you see or hear anything in your area that seemed out of place or different?" "Call me Rita, and no, nothing really out of the ordinary. But Vaughn made sure I had my feet up on the couch, he's such a sweetheart – takes such good care of me and junior here. All's I heard was some scufflin' sound like someone was tryin' to open the dumpster beneath our building but couldn't because it was locked for maintenance. I walked over to the window and saw a dark figure and some chick with blonde hair but I figured what business was it of mine getting' involved in a lover's quarrel. Me and Vaughn have had our share".

She snapped her gum again, the way she spoke made all her vowels sound like 'ay' or 'ow'. "So tell me, has the mornin' sickness been bad for you too? I'm lucky though, my doctor says I'm the perfect person to be pregnant. I haven't swollen up or nothin'. But that's okay honey, the water retention will go away eventually" she gestured to Olivia's feet and face.

Slack jawed Olivia tried to compose herself, "Umm". Luckily Cragen poked his head in the door, "Mrs. Hayes, you're free to go, your husband's waiting for you in the lobby. Thank you for your time". Rita Hayes moved to get up and she began to walk out the door Cragen held open for her.

Olivia rose as well, and at that moment the baby chose to kick. She gasped slightly; more startled than anything and Cragen's eyes moved to her "You okay Liv?". "Yeah" she rubbed the spot, "fine…baby just kicked. It feels so weird".

Cragen smiled indulgently and Rita had an odd look on her face, almost like – like anger or envy. But as soon as it had come it had gone, and Rita with it. She went to her husband who was standing next to the precinct door with Elliot watching him.

"Oh baby, I'm so glad you're okay!" Rita rushed over to the glowering man and clung to him. He shrugged her off and began to walk out but she stopped and grabbed his arm, "Oh Vinny, the baby kicked, hard! Feel" she brought his hand to her stomach and held it there for a second before he yanked it away "Let's go Rita". And with that they were gone.

Elliot came over to her, he smiled and she smiled back. "I hear my baby kicked", her smile grew wider as she recalled the stronger movement she'd felt only a few moments ago. It had been the first time the baby's movements had been more than tiny bubbling feelings.

She felt the baby flutter again in her womb and she pressed Elliot's hand to her waist, guiding it to the spot on the left side of her belly where she'd felt it. They waited a moment and she watched as Elliot furrowed his brow, frowning slightly in concentration.

After a few seconds Elliot felt a barely discernible quiver beneath his fingers. "I love you so much". She slid her hands up his broad chest and locked them behind his neck, pulling herself up to kiss him "I love you more".

"Okay lovebirds, what did we find out" Munch grinned wryly from behind them and they broke apart. Elliot shrugged and shook his head, "I didn't really get anything. Vinny said he stayed home and watched the game all night, didn't hear anything".

Olivia nodded and turned towards the group, "Rita said the same thing - that they stayed in. But she said she saw a dark figure and a flash of blonde hair when she went to the window". "Well that sounds like our perp and our victim, I'll have officers keep asking around the buildings".

Olivia pursed her lips, "What is it Liv?" Fin asked. "I don't know. It's just; there was something off about Rita Hayes. She kept asking about my pregnancy and…it didn't seem normal. She was too interested, and after I felt the baby kick for the first time she claimed the same thing a minute later even though she's due three weeks earlier than me so it's not possible".

"Well, stay away from her. I agree there's something else going on there but we need the evidence to prove it" Cragen agreed "so let's get out there and get it, back to work everybody".

"Except you", Olivia turned back to her computer, still frowning slightly until she felt Elliot come up behind her. "Four o'clock means you're out of here, I'll see you at home in an hour".

Olivia shook her head, amused and exasperated at the same time. She threw her hands up in mock defeat, "Alright, I'm going, I'm going".

Olivia walked in the front door and plopped down on the couch, flicking through channels as she spent her mandatory daily hour with her feet up. Elliot got home from work a little more than an hour later.

She came out of the kitchen to greet him at the door, dipping a Reese's peanut butter cup into raspberry jam. Brushing her hands off and putting the odd snack down, she came over into the living room.

Elliot loosened his tie and caught her lightly around the waist; "This one of your new maternity tops?" "Yup" she twirled around in a circle and smoothed out the fabric. He nodded slowly, appraisingly, "I like it - it shows off your baby bump".

Her smile was a mixture of pleasure and embarrassment and she rubbed it slowly, thinking. "We're so close to being able to breathe easier about the baby" she thought aloud. Catching sight of herself in a mirror she laughed out loud, "You know I'm still doing double takes when I walk past a mirror, she examined her silhouette and shrugged happily.

Elliot led her over to the couch and she sat down again, leaning back against the armrest with her feet in Elliot's lap. She let her head loll back as she succumbed to the sinful relief of Elliot working out her arches.

"I'm going to be nothing but a water balloon by the time I give birth with all this water retention" she joked, eyed still shut as she became drowsy with pleasure. "Even the suspect's wife pointed out how swollen I am today".

Elliot frowned slightly but didn't stop the kneading motion, he grunted "I have a weird feeling about them Liv, something's not right there". "Don't worry about it; any person who tries to manhandle a cop's stomach while they're under investigation is not someone I'm going to be going out with for coffee and a chat".

Elliot nodded again and let the subject drop. He finished with her feet and she tucked them beneath her again. Olivia's stomach chose that moment to grumble loudly and she grimaced.

Elliot only laughed, "So what are we feeding the little monster tonight?" Olivia thought for a moment, "Hmm, do we have any more of that pasta your mother sent over?" "Yup, lemme just go warm up a couple bowls". She re-settled herself on the couch so that she was on her back.

Closing her eyes she laid both palms across her stomach trying to feel her baby again. Elliot returned a few minutes later with two bowls of the creamy asiago and parmesan pasta his mother had sent over the week before after Elliot had called her to tell her about the baby. He set the bowls down gently on the wooden coffee table, he leaned over her and kissed her as she was still lost deep in concentration.

Her eyes flew open in surprise but she continued to kiss him back. He handed her a bowl and a fork with one hand, giving her belly an affectionate pat with the other. "How's our baby today", she smiled over her bowl "hungry…and restless. It is such a weird feeling to know and feel that another tiny person is growing inside of you".

The baby chose that moment to kick again and this time Elliot had his hand right over where it happened. "He or she knows who their daddy is" Olivia whispered. Elliot leaned over the swell, "are you happy daddy's home from work sweetheart?" the baby rolled in her stomach and they laughed. Elliot kissed the place where their child had kicked and then stuck a forkful of pasta in his mouth.

They spent the night watching the Jets face the Giants on TV, but Elliot mostly watched Olivia as she smiled over at him when they'd won a goal or yelling at the defense line. Olivia watched the game with one eye, but the other she left trained on the man across from her on the couch.

She was as thankful that he was still in her life as she was their baby still grew safely in her belly. And no matter how much she might grip and complain at the discomforts, knowing she carried Elliot's baby, that it was their baby made in love that swelled her body, she would never be happier.

**Ready, set, comment! P.s. the next chapter has a surprise for you & Olivia - and Cabot as well!**


	15. Chapter 15: Phantom

**Just went through my first round of orthodontic surgery yesterday, 3 and a half hours of drilling and cutting with the promise of 3 more identical sessions, Eurgh! **

**PLEEEASE comment and make me feel better, the number of comments seems to be slipping but I'm sticking to my 10 comments rule. You guys are fabulous, not to mention an extraordinarily literate audience so I know you are intelligent and capable enough to hit that review button.**

Tuesday came and passed with no further evidence coming to light about the George case, so Wednesday morning Olivia found herself glued to the computer screen in the squad room going through the new evidence findings TARU had put up as well as Dr. Warner's autopsy results.

The cause of death for Elizabeth George was officially exsanguination from when the perp had cut the baby out of her, but she had been beaten viciously beforehand.

Scrolling down the medical report, Olivia found something out of place. The infant had died too of course, but it had taken a breath beforehand. The alveoli in its lungs were pink and inflated. The baby had lived for several hours, but what was stranger was the fact that the perp had let the baby live that long after the mother.

Warner was running the DNA she'd found in a hair on the baby's covering against the system as they spoke, but it would take a few hours, and there was nothing really they could do until then but wait.

"Hey Olivia!" a full term Alex Cabot walked through the door. "Alex!" Olivia jumped up and put her arms around her friend, which was not only dificult but downright comical with two pregnant bellies getting in the way. They laughed as they broke apart and Olivia pulled a chair over to her desk, motioning for Alex to sit.

"I'm good thanks Liv. Captain Cragen? I'm stealing Olivia away for lunch". Cragen waved from his office where he was on the phone with yet another new ADA for the unit arguing about probable cause for a search warrant for the Hayes' apartment.

After taking a long lunch, Alex and Olivia walked back into the precinct. "I am so ready for this baby to come" Alex sighed, leaning against Olivia's desk. "Thanks for listening to me vent Liv"

"No problem, in a couple of months it'll be me who's desperate". A funny look came over Alex's face, but before Olivia could mention it Alex had snapped back to attention, "Thanks anyway Liv, I'll give you a call when your godson finally decides to make an appearance" she joked, standing up awkwardly.

"Come on, I'll walk you out" Olivia offered, But no sooner had the pair gotten halfway across the squad room then Alex stopped in her tracks, and bent over, clutching Munch's desk for support. Tiny shocked breaths escaped her lips as she looked up at Olivia, but before anyone could react Alex inhaled sharply. She looked at Olivia in horror; both gazes shifting immediately to the wet stain spreading across Alex's skirt; "Looks like he's ready now".

"No, no, not here not now" Alex moaned as Olivia helped her into a chair. "Have you had any contractions yet?" Alex blanched again, "Oh God, I thought it was just a backache. I've been getting these little twinges since last night but…" her voice trailed off. "Liv I'm not ready"

"Yes you are Alex" Olivia started, but before she could continue Alex grabbed her hand and squeezed. "Oh I think, nope, I know that's a contraction" she broke off panting and Olivia waited for the contraction to pass before she moved her.

"Showtime" Cragen brought over Alex's coat "there's a patrol car outside, he'll get you to the hospital". Olivia shot the captain a grateful look; "tell Elliot I'm with Alex at the hospital if he comes back" she called from down the hallway.

She helped Alex into the car and took her hand again, "it's okay, Alex" she soothed, trying to keep her own voice calm. "Everything's going to be fine". Alexandra shook her head as if trying to clear her thoughts, "can, can you call Colin and ah…ah…owww" Alex squeezed Olivia's hand again "tell him to get to the hospital…now" "Okay honey".

The car sped across Manhattan, sirens blaring, to Mercy hospital. An uncharacteristically teary Alex had talked to Colin in the car and he'd promised to be there as soon as he could, which in midday traffic could be as much as two hours, and persuaded her to check herself in instead of waiting for him as she'd declared she was going to do in the waiting room.

Alex had changed into a hospital gown and was getting hooked up to different monitors that showed her and the baby's heart rate as well as a graph showing her contractions, which were now coming every 7-8 minutes.

Cool, calm and collected Alex Cabot was decidedly un-calm at the moment as she fought through another contraction, gritting her teeth against the pain and staring at the graph, waiting for it to fall as the contraction ebbed.

"H-h-how long was that one?" Alex flopped back against the pillows, blonde hair loose and sweaty and Olivia checked her watch. "That one lasted about 45 seconds".

Still breathing harshly Alex nodded, too winded to speak.

Eyes wide with fear she turned to Olivia "Olivia I'm scared. What if everything's not alright with the baby?" "It will be, you have to believe that Alex…now here comes another one, are you ready?" Alex didn't answer, just sobbed as the pains peaked.

A doctor came into the room, pushing the curtain aside, "Hello ladies, how are we doing here". "She's fine, I'm the one doing all the heavy lifting" Alex growled at the man, completely past caring in her state of pain.

The man chuckled, "alright, now Ms. Cabot I'm just going to check your progress. Alex nodded and squeezed Olivia's hand even more tightly "well it looks like we're going to have a baby here pretty soon". "Soon isn't fast enough!" Alex cried.

"Well you're already 7 centimetres dilated so I would say within the next hour or two you'll be a mother Alexandra". "Seven?" Alex gasped, "but – but my water only broke an, an hour and a half ago" she stuttered. "One thing I've learned in my profession is that babies have their own schedule" the doctor smiled kindly, "I'll be back in a little while to see if you've made any more progress".

Wild eyed, Alex grabbed Olivia's arm. "Olivia what am I going to do, Colin's not here yet. He has to be here, we – we went to all the classes together. I can't have this baby without him" Olivia rubbed her arm, "he'll be here Alex, I know he will". "But now we need to focus on getting your baby out safely okay?"

Almost another hour had passed of increasingly stronger contractions and Alex fell back on the pillows again, the force of the contractions bringing her into a sitting position every time. She shifted slightly, and her gaze turned inward.

A tiny grunt escaped her lips and she seemed to hold herself off the bed "Oh, oh, Olivia!" "What, what is it Alex?" Olivia was exhausted by this time as well but she was determined to see her friend through this. "I think I want to push" she forced out, still staring down at the mound of her belly underneath the hospital gown.

Olivia smoothed a stray lock of hair back behind her friend's ear, "Just wait, honey, you have to wait until the doctor gets here".

"I – I can't stop it!" Alex looked terrified. "I-I'm pushing!" Olivia pressed the call button on the side of the bed and immediately three nurses bustled in. "The doctor will be back in a second, let's get you ready for delivery" one of them said.

Alex cried as the nurses re-arranged the bed and monitors, hooking her legs into stirrups and pressing hard into her stomach to feel for the baby's position. Olivia wanted to cry with her. How on earth was she going to do this in a short 4 months' time?

The doctor swept in again, pulling on a fresh set of gloves and sitting on a stool beneath Alex's propped up legs. "Alright Ms. Cabot, deep breath and then a big push"; tears still leaking from the corners of her eyes Alex nodded before breathing in deeply and tucking her chin to her chest as her entire body shook with the efforts of her pushing.

She broke off with a cry, and fell back panting. "You're doing so good, Alex. You're going to see your baby soon" Olivia encouraged her friend. "Come on honey push, here comes another contraction". "I can't" "You have to Alex" Olivia said, half smiling half crying along with her friend as Alex struggled to bring her baby into the world.

"I need you to bear down hard Alex" the doctor ordered from between her legs several contractions later, where his hands were moving feverishly "I can see the head". Olivia moved to the foot of the bed before coming back over to her side, "He's right there Alex. Your baby is right there and he's so beautiful". Olivia told her, choking back a sob, tear running down her face as she smiled at her friend.

Alex sobbed even harder and prepared to push again. The door burst open suddenly and a much disheveled Colin Priors burst through the door along with several angry nurses. "Alex? Where's my wife?" he demanded before sweeping back the curtain.

"Colin, Colin I'm here" Alex called out. He rushed over to her and cradled her head in his hands, "I'm so sorry baby. I'm here, I'm here now. I love you so much Alexandra" "I love you too" Alex wailed before her breath caught as another contraction swept her up into its hold. "Push!" the doctor commanded and Olivia left the room, giving Alex and Colin the opportunity to meet their baby, in the magical way that she'd seen all new parents do as they struggled and cried together as they brought a new life into the world.

Olivia was bleary eyed with exhaustion as she pushed the delivery room doors open, looking for nothing more than a seat to stumble to before her legs gave out. But instead, she felt a solid warmth rush into her as her feet were suddenly swept up from the floor until only her toes touched the ground.

She blinked owlishly, and Elliot's anxiety lined face filled her vision. She sighed and let him half-carry her over to the waiting room chairs. "Wanna stay" she mumbled, "wanna see the baby". "Okay sweetheart" Elliot folded her into his arms and she dropped immediately to sleep, curled up next to him, sprawled on the waiting room chairs.

A little less than an hour later she woke to a smiling Elliot nudging her awake. "Do you want to see your godson?" Olivia leapt up instantly, shaking her head to clear away the last cobwebs of sleep and Elliot steadied her with a hand at her waist as they went into recovery.

Alex was propped up in bed, face flushed and smiling – eyes sparkling and holding a small blue bundle in her arms. Colin was seated halfway on the bed with his arm around the two of them. He nodded them closer and Olivia sank down onto the bed.

"Oh Alex" she breathed, taking in the tiny red little face and scrunched up nose. She reached out tentatively and stroked a finger across the baby's tightly fisted hand and his rosebud mouth screwed up slightly, "he's beautiful".

"He's perfect" Alex agreed. "Now Olivia Benson, may I introduce you to your godson, weighing in at 8 lbs. 11oz. Evan Oliver Arthur Priors" she looked up at Olivia whose eyes had teared again "named for his very brave godmother who helped bring him into the world". Her voice cracked at the end and Olivia shook her head, not able to say anything.

Elliot shook Colin's hand and kissed Alex on the cheek, "Congratulations". Noticing Alex's and Olivia's drooping shoulders he suggested, "Now let's let all new and future mothers get some rest". He ushered Olivia out the door and into the car.

Olivia touched her belly lightly, pausing at the door to the apartment. "Will you stay with me when I have the baby?" velvety brown eyes stared up at him, prompting an answer he already knew by heart. "Nothing could keep me away, Olivia. Not even if you pour ice chips over me like Alex did with Colin, blaming me for doing this to you".

Olivia smiled and they went inside where she showered and fell into bed exhausted, dreaming of the day she would get to hold her own baby.

**10 comments again this time! **

**Next chapter we see Liv's next doctor appointment and find out more about the George case, the Hayes are involved. But it's not what you think. In the Special Victims Unit, it never is...**


	16. Chapter 16:Threat

**Good morning! Don't forget to comment. I need 10 more until the next chapter goes up :)**

Olivia woke Friday morning, at first she thought it was the baby moving that woke her – but she realized the feeling was coming from the outside. She opened her eyes to see Elliot leaning over her, pressing a trail of kisses up her body and over her belly until he reached her lips; "today's the day we get to see our baby".

She grinned lazily as she let him continue his path. She covered his broad bare chest with her hands, looking into his eyes "so are we going to find out the sex?" "I'm leaving it completely up to you. I just want this baby healthy" he replied. She brought his hand down to feel the baby kick, "that's all I want as well. But I think we've had enough surprises" she smiled wryly.

She rolled out of bed and padded over to the bathroom; she came out dressed but groaned and pressed a hand to her stomach. "I can't tell if the nausea is from morning sickness or nerves". "Everything's going to be fine" Elliot assured her as they drove over to her OB/GYN's where Elliot helped her into the exam chair.

With shaking hands Olivia pushed up her top the way the nurse had instructed her to for the ultrasound. She undid her jeans and slid them down partway as well. Her lips were tight and grim as the doctor walked through the door with her clipboard.

"Hello Olivia, so you are now 20 weeks 2 days pregnant" she announced, moving over to where Olivia lay. The doctor's gloved hands pressed into Olivia's stomach as she felt it during the external palpation, causing her to wince in discomfort. She squeezed Elliot's hand and he squeezed reassuringly back.

Elliot cleared his throat, "what do the test results say?" The doctor looked up at him over her wire rimmed glasses, "minimal tenderness upon external palpation, no sugar, glucose or protein present in urine sample and the ultrasound will show us if the baby is growing properly or if the placenta's previous partial detachment caused any growth retardation.

"Olivia, you're too tense; breathe" the doctor commanded from where she sat in front of the ultrasound monitor.

Olivia had tensed when she'd felt the cold conducting gel being applied, what if there was something wrong with her baby? She would love her child no matter what, she already did – fiercely, protectively, but it would shatter her if her baby was somehow hurt or couldn't live a full life.

Elliot shot a warning look over at the doctor that said 'be nice, she's already scared to death' while he took her hand again. "Liv, come on, breathe with me. Nice easy breaths – in and out". She locked gazes with him and he could see her terror.

After a few seconds of this, Olivia's grip loosened ever so slightly and the doctor checked the blood pressure cuff she had strapped on. "Good, it's already going back down. You're a good man to have around Stabler".

He smiled at the uber-feminist doctor's begrudging admission but kept his eyes locked with Olivia's. "Everything's going to be okay, our baby will be perfect. But more importantly he will be loved".

"She" the doctor corrected smilingly. While Elliot had been trying to calm Olivia, the doctor had started the scan.

"She? It's a girl?" Olivia whipped her head around, first staring at the screen and then at the probe moving over her stomach. Her mouth opened in a kind of wonder and she looked from the screen again to Elliot. "I'm having a daughter" she breathed, talking more to herself than to anybody else in the room.

"Correction", Elliot kissed a tear that threatened to fall as it gathered in the corner of her eye; "We're going to have a daughter".

"Is she okay?" Olivia pressed the doctor as she stared at the screen as if by looking hard enough, she could see inside herself and see the baby was alright. "I'm just taking measurements now" the doctor mumbled, clicking at certain points on the computer screen that showed the ultrasound.

As she did the full anatomy scan she pointed out everything to Olivia and Elliot, who clung to her every word as she gave them a 'tour' of their baby.

"There you can see her face, and right up by it you have a little hand" they watched the screen as the baby curled it into a fist, almost seeming to wave it slightly as she moved in her watery world.

Tears freely ran down Olivia's face now, but she was past caring or embarrassment. "Hi sweetheart" she breathed, looking in amazement down at her belly, not quite believing that what she saw on the screen was what was inside her at that very moment.

The doctor paused slightly, pursing her lips as she repeated one of the measurements. Olivia and Elliot were the best in what they did, so the doctor's actions didn't escape their notice, even in the thralls of new parenthood.

"What is it?" Elliot asked quietly. "Is something wrong with my baby?" Olivia all but demanded of the doctor. "Your babies are fine" the doctor insisted, and Olivia's shoulders dropped in relief. "Then what is it?" Elliot pressed her further.

She strapped a blood pressure cuff on Olivia's arm, inflating it and then frowning as she looked at her watch as it deflated back down. "I understand that coming here for the test results was very stressful, as was finding out you're expecting twins but Olivia's blood pressure is a little high for my liking. Just like placental abruption, high blood pressure can cut off oxygen supply to the placenta, causing babies' birth weight to be decreased".

"Your baby is still in the normal range for weight and size for your dates, but she's on the lower side". "Just keep an eye out Olivia, so whenever you're feeling stressed do some deep breathing exercises or remove yourself from the situation. That way we can avoid any risk of pre-eclampsia. But that's something we'll have to worry about later in the pregnancy".

"For now, you have the all clear to resume 'normal', as in normal for the average mother-to-be, 'normal' activities. Including sex" she added wryly before leaving the room.

Olivia wiped the gel off her bared abdomen with the handful of paper towels Elliot held out to her.

Walking out of the clinic she laughed, "Fin was right, we have a Babygirl in here", he kissed the top of her head.

The both of them couldn't keep the grins off their faces as they walked into the squad room later that afternoon.

When they got back to the precinct Elliot sat on the corner of Munch's desk while Olivia leaned over Fin's on the opposite side. "So what did the doctor say?" Munch pressed anxiously. "Is everything okay with the baby?"

Elliot nodded; "everything looks perfect".

"That's great guys congrats" Fin slapped Elliot on the back while Munch leaned in closer. "So are you going to tell us who won the bet?"

"I don't know if I like you betting on my pregnant girlfriend and partner" Elliot half-teased them. "But hey, if we join in maybe we can pay for the kids' college".

Olivia sat down at her desk and swiveled her chair around to face them, "Fin was right" she smiled and Fin let out a war whoop of victory "hand it over Munch, that's 40 bucks in my pocket.

Elliot laughed and put his arm around Olivia. They looked at each other and Elliot nodded, "Captain Cragen" Olivia started, "Would you, I mean…one of my biggest fears even before I knew I was pregnant was that I had 'bad' genes inside me, because of who my father was. I didn't have any kind of male figure in my life to turn to until I came here. Would you mind if I named you as grandfather on the babies' birth certificate?"

Cragen could read the vulnerability in the brown eyes as they looked up at him, almost as if they were waiting for some predetermined rejection. "I…" Cragen was horrified to find his throat was closing up "I would be honored Olivia" he assured her gruffly.

He clapped Elliot on the shoulder with one hand and turned back to his office, valiantly trying to stave off the tears that threatened at the corners of his eyes. His promise of any family was taken away when his wife had been killed in the airline crash, this felt like a second chance for him.

Now the excitement of the morning had died down everybody got back to their work. Warner had messengered over the final medical report and autopsy overnight. Opening it, Olivia pulled off a yellow sticky note from the top of the report page that read 'urgent – double checked'.

Reading through the examiner's findings Olivia couldn't believe what the paper was telling her. "El" Elliot looked up from the desk opposite hers, "what is it? Did we get a match on the DNA?" Olivia nodded dumbly. "Uh yeah, and it's not what we think".

Now Munch and Fin had gathered around her desk again after hearing her comments. "There were two sets of DNA found on the body" she started, "one hasn't come up in the system, and the other belongs to Rita Hayes".

"Not Vaughn Hayes?" Munch interjected. She shook her head, "No, Rita Hayes. And another thing…blood testing for pregnant women is slightly different because of hormone variation".

"So?" Fin said confused, "it's still her DNA".

"The sample absolutely belongs to her, but both the hair found on the body and the blood we took from Rita Hayes show no hormone variations. Rita Hayes isn't pregnant" she finished.

Everyone was silent as they took in this new information. "So what kind of spin does that put on this then?" Fin asked to no one in particular. "Is she killing pregnant women because she's jealous? But why pretend to be pregnant?"

"Unless you were planning on getting a baby" Elliot spoke slowly finishing the sentence, thinking about the crime scene and the odd circumstances of the crime.

"You said there were two types of DNA on the body" Munch stated, "a semen sample from the unknown attacker, and a hair belonging to Rita Hayes". "Warner said that the autopsy showed the baby had lived for a few hours after being cut out of the mother".

Olivia's eyes narrowed in concentration. "You don't think…" "there's only one way to find out" Cragen nodded grimly from the corner of the group, having come out of his office to see the medical report findings "bring her in".

Olivia rose out of habit but Cragen placed a hand lightly on her shoulder, silently reminding her she was stuck on office duty until they returned with the suspect. "At least let me talk to her when she comes back Cap" Olivia pleaded, "we'll get more out of her if I'm distracting her with this" she referenced her stomach.

"Let me text Elliot and tell him not to say anything to her until she's brought in. Then if I accuse her she might lose control and let something slip". Cragen nodded and Olivia whipped out her phone to text him.

Standing outside the Hayes' brownstone building Elliot glanced down at his phone, "don't say anything" he mouthed to the other detectives as the door to the building opened and Rita stepped out. "Ms. Hayes" Elliot called out smiling charmingly, "would you mind coming with us back to the precinct?"

"Why?" she asked, darting her eyes around suspiciously. "We've just come up with some new evidence and we'd like to see if you can help us put the pieces together. You seem very knowledgeable about the building and its occupants".

She puffed up slightly at the praise but still looked nervous, "I have to be back at 3 for an appointment with the doctor for the baby". "I'm sure we'll have you back in plenty of time, besides Detective Benson could use some girl chat and talking about the baby. She's the only woman in the precinct".

He held out that last sentence like a fisherman with bait and she took it. "Okay then" she agreed. As he offered his arm to help the woman into the squad car he sent an apologetic look upwards, "Sorry Liv" he muttered under his breath, knowing full well the last thing she would want to do is have 'a girl chat' with Ms. Hayes.

Back in the SVU squad room, Olivia walked in to viewing part of the interview room, where she would soon be sitting across the table from Rita Hayes and the decaf coffee she had demanded because 'caffeine wasn't good for the baby'.

Now that she had more of the story Olivia glanced down at Rita's midriff, whatever she had used to stuff her shirt looked very realistic. As she passed Cragen and Elliot on her way into the room she shot them a knowing glance, closing the door behind her she made a show of sticking her stomach out and touching it frequently as she re-introduced herself to Ms. Hayes.

"Aren't these backaches a bitch?" Olivia moaned, putting a hand to her back and arching so her belly stuck out even further and Cragen and Elliot watched as Rita Hayes furtively arched her own back, copying Olivia's movements.

Olivia's guess had been right on the mark, and Rita's eyes seemed glued to her baby bump as she rubbed it in exaggerated motion. "So Rita, tell me. When are you due?" Elliot smiled slightly to himself; any expectant mother knew the due date like the back of their hand, most counting down to it eagerly. But he could see the wheels turning in Rita Hayes' head as she tried to count backwards and forwards to make up 9 months. "January, no…December…15th" she finished confidently nodding her head.

The men watched in amusement as Olivia blithely continued to trip her up with questions, "so how do you know the attacker killed her on the edge of central park instead of wherever he was keeping her?" Olivia continued, letting Rita feel as though she were the one in charge of the interview, so she'd feel safe in revealing more details.

She rubbed her stomach in wide slow circles, watching Rita Hayes' eyes follow the movements of her hand like a pendulum. "Cuz she was stumbling. She kept falling so he had to hold her up. He went into the bushes with her, but when he saw people coming he slit her throat so he couldn't make any noise."

"What happened after that?" Olivia led her on, unbelieving that this woman was telling her the exact details of the crime, not thinking it would implicate her. "He said it was lucky for him she was knocked up, that he got two for the price of one and that's the way he liked it. That screwing a slut like her was a compliment. He didn't normally go for pregnant women".

There was no stopping Rita now. In the throes of her storytelling she had lost any look of wariness she had once had on coming into the interview room and explained the crimes in vivid detail, Olivia's stomach working like a kind of hypnosis on her. "I heard this kind of gurgling sound, and then his grunts. It sounded like he was jumping or stomping on something – then he left" she finished, breathless with the exertion and excitement of describing the attack.

"So he didn't take the baby?" Olivia closed in for the 'kill' so to speak.

Rita paled, "Um, of course he did" she tried to sound confident." He took his knife and uh, sliced her open". "But what about the baby?" Olivia pressed her, "well I couldn't let it die" Rita stood up, agitated now. "So, so I went over to see if she was still breathing…" "even after he had slit her throat?" "and I thought that the baby might still be alive" she tried to come off as though she had been the hero of the day.

"You didn't call 911 when you saw the attack. You didn't call for help when you realized the baby might be alive?" "You cut the baby out of Elizabeth George's stomach and tried to pass it off as your own"

Olivia was standing now, closing in on Rita Hayes, her furious barrage of questions continuing. "Then when the baby didn't survive, you realized it had no more value to you, so you threw it in the dumpster like trash and pretended it never happened".

She was now barely an inch from Rita's face. Every vein in Olivia's body seethed with outrage at what this woman had done, and what she had let be done so that she could steal the baby. "You could have called the police safely and told them a woman was being attacked. You could have called after you saw the man leave and tell them there was a possibility the baby was alive. You could have called out to someone else on the street to help you stop a man from murdering a woman" her voice rose on the last sentence. She slammed a hand down on the table and the other woman jumped.

Olivia cocked her head to one side, "you're not even pregnant are you Rita?" The other woman said nothing, a muscle in her jaw working like a nervous tic. "Good" she yelled and whirled around from where she had walked back to the other side of the table. "Someone like you doesn't deserve to be a mother. That baby was better off dead than with you" she finished.

Now it was Rita's turn to get angry. Her eyes narrowed and bulged as she rose out of her seat, "you bitch" she screamed running at Olivia, who ducked under the woman's arm as she swung at her. "I had a baby. He was mine and he was taken away. That woman was dead, she didn't need her baby!"

"She wasn't dead until you finished the job" Olivia yelled back."

"I deserve a baby; it was my baby, my baby. I would have been a good mother, not like you, you bitch! You don't deserve your baby. You shouldn't be a mother". A manic gleam filled the woman's eyes as she reached into high heeled boots and pulled out a penknife.

Elliot burst into the room and grabbed the woman's flailing arms so she couldn't swing at Olivia. Cragen put a warning hand on her arm, "Olivia"; but she continued, unable to stop herself.

"You had a choice and you let that woman die, you let that woman die and then you killed that baby. You may have not stopped its breath but you murdered that baby by not getting help".

Rita had collapsed in Elliot's arms and was sobbing and fighting against him. "You don't know what it's like to lose a child. You can't understand".

"I am sorry you lost your baby Ms. Hayes – but that doesn't give you the right to one, to rip one from its dying mother's womb". "Olivia!" Cragen repeated more harshly this time and she broke off, chest heaving and left the room. She stumbled blindly back to her desk, burying her face in her hands.

"Hey Olivia" she felt John's hand on her shoulder. "It's okay we got her". "It's not okay. That baby is dead because of that woman, and its mother is dead because of some deranged rapist. I want them both John".

He said nothing but handed her a bottle of water. "Relax Liv we'll find him. Now breathe, take it easy. This can't be good for your baby Olivia. Think about your baby". He waited a few moments until some color had gone back into her cheeks. "There's nothing we can do to bring that baby or its mother back the only thing we can do is get justice for them by finding the man who killed Elizabeth George, and it looks like Rita Hayes' testimony is going to be one of the only ways we can do that or find him".

Olivia nodded slowly as she sipped the water, "okay, alright let's do this". She made to get up again but Munch kept his hand on her shoulder. "Elliot and Fin are in there right now getting her statement, you can't go in".

"Why not?" she insisted; "Apart from the fact she assaulted you and is claiming you assaulted her?" Munch threw up his hands "Olivia if Elliot had reacted a moment later she would have had you on the floor, "and we don't want to risk another baby being hurt by this woman. I don't want to see you get hurt".

All the anger seemed to seep out from Olivia, leaving her physically and emotionally spent, exhausted. She slumped over her desk, rubbing her face with one hand. "Okay, alright…you're right. Of course you're right I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me".

"What came over you was what is going to make you a fantastic mother" Munch assured her as he helped her up.

"Let Elliot know I went home a little early" she said, glancing at the clock which read quarter to four. "Will do Liv, you sure you're okay to get home" she smiled tightly "yeah…yeah I'll be fine".

**On your marks...Get Set...Comment! P.s. Oohh do you like the twist in the case I've thrown in here? Haha**


	17. Chapter 17: Temporary

**Hey gorgeous readers! You know the rules! 10 comments until the next chapter goes up. xoxo**

**P.s. just clearing it up - Liv is having a baby girl :) Sorry for any confusion, I guess my mind pluralized :P**

She barely made it in the door before she stumbled over to her bed and fell into it. This first week back at work was turning out to be a doozy. First the George murder and kidnapping, then Alex going into labour in the squad room, and then losing it with a deranged woman who was pretending to be pregnant.

It was all just a little too much, so Olivia let her mind to unconsciousness – leaving it to deal with the mess inside her head and instantly fell into a deep sleep.

Less than a half hour later Elliot burst in the door. "Olivia!" she heard someone yell from what sounded like the living room, she sat up just in time for Elliot to burst in the door.

"Olivia…" he broke off panting – sounding like he'd run up every flight of stairs, which of course he had. "I didn't see you before you left. I didn't know if Rita Hayes had hurt you when she lost it and you weren't answering your phone"

"Oh El I'm sorry, no I fell asleep. And I'm fine, she didn't do any damage. You got her before she could get the knife anywhere near me remember?" He sat down on the edge of bed and wrapped her in his arms saying nothing.

"If I thought I had a chance at you saying yes I would ask you not to come back to work for the rest of the pregnancy. But that's not going to happen is it?" Olivia said nothing in reply for a moment, when he'd started the sentence she'd thought he was going to say something like 'if he thought he had a chance at me saying yes he would ask me to marry him'. Collecting herself she swallowed back the disappointed lump in her throat.

"No Elliot. But we're fine" She knew she had no right to be disappointed; she was the one who had made it clear marriage was not an option. But still…blame it on hormones or adrenaline or whatever but that was how she felt.

She looked up at Elliot, the bravest man she knew looking so scared and relieved at the same time, and all she wanted to do was show him how much she loved him.

"Wait here for a sec" she told him, going into the bathroom. She'd prepared this morning in case the doctor gave them good news. Coming back out she reached for the light dimmer until the room was bathed in only a rosy glow, accentuated by the gradually setting sun outside.

She let her robe slip open and drop from her shoulders to a pool of silk around her feet. Elliot rubbed a hand over his face and moaned, "Liv". "Shhh" she put a finger to her lips as she came towards him. "Don't talk".

Elliot's eyes travelled over her body, glorying in what was on display for him, knowing it was for him.

That knowledge already had him hard as the robe slipped off. Underneath she wore nothing but a matching bra and panty set. Demi cups of sheer black lace restrained her breasts, slim bands of chiffon crossing her shoulders and holding it up; and nothing but two triangular scraps of lace and ribbon embracing her hips.

She walked slowly over to him and he could feel her trepidation, this would be the first time they'd slept together since she'd found out she was pregnant, and the second time overall they'd made love. He'd already kicked off his shoes and stayed sitting on the edge of the bed, knowing that it had to be Olivia's decision to come over to him and give herself to him fully.

She paused in front of him. He grabbed her hips with gentle hands, smoothing them up her back, helping her to straddle him so that she was on his lap. "I'm feeling very underdressed" she teased breathily as Elliot's mouth left a damp circle on the sheer lace of her bra.

Shifting his hips slightly so not to disturb her, he slid his pants and briefs off, kicking them so that they landed in the corner of the room. "Better?" he smiled; Olivia could feel him smiling even though his face was buried in her chest.

He smoothed his hand over the curving expanse of her belly, honoring her body and their child before moving to cup her, feeling her moist heat through the sheer scrap of fabric between her legs. She squeezed them together, holding his hand there and already he could feel the vibrations in her body that told him she was close.

"Is this what you want?" he asked. His blue eyes darkened with desire so that they shone indigo, sucking everything every thought into them. "Elliot" she pleaded again, breath hitching as his fingers brushed against the lace, the texture of the fabric providing an erotic backdrop to the sensuality of his touch.

He squeezed his own eyes shut, trying to regain some sense of control. He felt like a teenager again in that he was so deeply aroused by nothing but touch and sight and words.

She grabbed his hand, looking for all the world as if it pained her to do so and moved it away from her legs. "I want" she breathed "what do you want Liv? Tell me and I'll give it to you" "I want…you…in me" she finished, her voice peaking as Elliot unfastened her bra letting it fall. She settled more deeply on his lap, but still he held her slightly away from him, so that the hard length of his shaft just brushed the opening in the cleft between her legs.

He cupped her breasts, teasing the peaks to a stiffened point with the pads of his thumbs and she cried out. "Did I hurt you?" he looked confused. "No" she moaned, "they're, they're just e-extra sensitive right now because of the…of the" she breathed in sharply as she felt the velvet of his mouth as he took her into it.

He closed his teeth gently on her and she tightened her clutch as she started to tremble with the beginnings of climax. Remembering what she had said, Elliot brought her hips closer, she circled them and moved against him, fighting to get where she wanted, where she needed to be. "Stop fighting Olivia" he whispered, meaning it in so much more than physical sense. "Let go"

Ecstasy overtook the pair as he buried himself in her at the same time she ground against him needily. And in the hardest part of her soul Olivia could feel it; could feel herself let go. Not only to the roaring ecstasy of orgasm, but she let go of the pain she had held onto for so long, let go of the anger, the bitterness, the feeling of being unworthy and she let herself be loved completely in that moment. He filled her completely, body and spirit.

Limp, and shaking – but not in a bad way Olivia returned to reality, knowing that letting herself experience a moment of weakness at times only meant that she could trust Elliot to catch her when she fell. At work when she'd been in danger from the suspect, at the doctor's office and hospital when she'd waited and worried herself sick over the health of their baby, and now, here in his arms as she lay drained and sated in his arms.

She warmed herself in the breadth of his arms, loving how tightly he held her as the aftershocks rippled through her. "I love you Olivia" he whispered against her eyelids as they drooped and flickered drowsily as she lost herself to sleep.

Too far past the reach of unconsciousness to speak, and tell him back that she loved him, Olivia knew that she would never be lost, never be homeless or alone when she was where she was right now. In Elliot's arms, a moment made only more perfect by the silent small swell of their baby between them.

The family and home and unconditional love she'd been looking for all her life, it was all right here.

Olivia woke to the sound of her phone ringing, she groped around blindly in the darkness, and crawled over Elliot's sleeping figure to get it. "Olivia Benson" she said into it, hoping she had managed to hide the sleep from her voice.

"Olivia" a hoarse female voice said. "Um, it's, it's Vivian…uh Vivian Arliss" the other woman stumbled uncomfortably over her words.

Immediately Olivia was wide awake, shrugging on her robe as she held the phone to her ear with her shoulder. She plopped down on the couch in the living room so she didn't wake Elliot.

"Vivian what is it? Is Calvin?" she couldn't bring herself to say the words her mind was pounding out. That the boy who had broken into her life and heart was dead,

"No, Calvin's fine, everything's fine" the woman sighed "Alright obviously it's not or I wouldn't be calling you". "Olivia I'm sorry. I was wrong, it was so wrong of me to take Calvin away from you last year. It hurt you and I know it hurt Calvin.

"So why are you calling now?" Olivia tried to keep the broken bitterness out of her voice. "My parents are moving into a retirement community. Calvin could stay with them but it's really not allowed and it's not anywhere near where his school is". The woman stopped for a moment.

"I don't know what you want me to do Vivian, you revoked my rights as legal guardian" her voice cracked slightly on the last words and she coughed to try and cover it up. "I, I'm in no shape to keep him. And besides, I know he doesn't really want to live with me".

"Olivia I have to tell you something. I told Calvin you had wrote to say you didn't want any more contact between the two of you. I was jealous and it was a stupid petty thing to do" the other woman sniffed and Olivia could tell she was crying

"He kept signing his papers Calvin Benson and I didn't know what to do" Olivia choked back a sob. "So that's why he stopped writing to me" she whispered. "And I intercepted all the letters you sent him" Vivian admitted. "But I know he still loves you Olivia, and I know – at least I hope that you still care for him".

"Of course I do" Olivia said huskily. The woman on the other end of the phone sighed, "not that my promises have meant much in the past, but…if you would consider becoming Calvin's legal guardian again. So he could come live with you in New York".

Olivia's throat was so tight with anger and hope and tears that she struggled to speak for a moment. "How do I know that you won't take him away again Vivian?" "Because this time, if you don't keep him, he'll be put into foster care instead of coming to live with me. I'm in no shape to be a mother right now Olivia. But you were a great mother to Calvin. Truly I think you were more of a mother to him than I ever was. So no one can take away your rights to him this time. I'll disappear.

All I ask is that I can call once in a while, on holidays and stuff to see how he's doing. I may not have shown it in the past but I love my child Olivia. I love him enough to let him go where he'll be happy"

"H-have you told him yet?" "No, not yet" Vivian admitted. "I didn't want to raise his hopes in case you said no, or in case you had a boyfriend who was against it. I'd understand.

I did tell him it was me who stopped you from contacting though. He understands that it wasn't your idea. He's been begging to speak to you ever since".

"Can, can I talk to him" Olivia whispered, forgetting it was the middle of the night. She heard shuffling footsteps from the other end of the phone and Calvin's sleep filled voice telling his mother to go away, it was too early.

She laughed and let the tears that had gathered in her eyes fall. Sitting with her legs crossed on the couch, her belly stuck out enough to catch the drops that fell, leaving watermarks on the robe. "Olivia?" Calvin's wary voice came onto the line.

"Hey buddy, what's up" her voice cracked and she could feel him smiling from over the line. "Did you really want to talk to me again or is it just my mom trying to get me to agree to move someplace else".

"How about here?" Olivia suggested. His doubtful silence sliced through her heart, "d'you mean it? You want me to come live with you again?" the young boy's voice rose hopefully and Olivia nodded, realizing quickly that Calvin couldn't hear her nodding she spoke again "As long as you don't mind sharing a room. I want Calvin Benson back".

She waited a moment before breaking the other piece of news she had "Elliot is living with me now" "That's cool. I like him; he never lets me win games like other adults do. So I know if I kick his butt it's because I'm actually good"

"There's one more thing, I'm having a baby". The silence that followed her last sentence seemed endless "so you're going to spend all your time on the new kid because he's yours" he said sounding angrier. "Never" she insisted. "I love you like my own child, and I know, not just hope -I know you're going to be a fantastic older brother".

That seemed to brighten his outlook on things, "Oh yeah, I never thought about that part. I always wanted a little brother or sister".

"Well now you'll have both" Olivia said "Elliot has a three and a half year old son who'll be coming here on alternate weekends, and we just found out today, well yesterday now I suppose, that I'm having a little girl". She paused, "I love you Calvin".

She heard him say before muttering awkwardly "girls…" in an exasperated but good natured tone, "I love you too Olivia, I can't wait to see you" he passed the phone back to his mother.

"I've already sent the paperwork through; you can sign it next week and send it back for processing. I'll be bringing Calvin over next month so he can start the new school year in New York in September".

"Thank you Vivian" was the last thing Olivia said before she heard the phone line click and she knew the woman had hung up, or the phone had run out of money or minutes.

She crawled back into bed with Elliot, deliriously happy. But then a sudden thought struck her, "Elliot, Elliot wake up!" "Baby's coming, I'll get my keys" he muttered feverishly, trying to roll out of bed.

"No, Elliot" she crawled up on her knees beside him. "I just talked to Vivian, Elliot. She's sending him back. I didn't even think to ask you. Oh God Elliot I'm sorry" her words came tumbling out "I love you and the baby more than anything but I love Calvin too. I didn't even think to ask whether you would be okay with him coming here and oh God, oh God".

Fully awake now, Elliot rubbed Olivia's arms trying to get her to calm down. "Liv, Olivia. Listen to me". Her eyes focused back on his and he made sure to look deeply into them when he was talking to her. "I think it's wonderful that Calvin is coming back to live here, with us" he enunciated the last two words and Olivia slumped back down in relief.

"Elliot, do you mean that? Or are you just saying that because you don't want to lose me and the baby?"

He pulled her close so that they were both lying down and she had her head on his chest. "I mean it Olivia, Calvin's a great kid. You did a great job with him when he was here. He and I got along great and he's proof that you'll be a good mother to our baby, a proof I never needed because I knew already, but maybe you didn't".

Olivia let her eyes close and all the tension that had gathered in her shoulders and neck washed away with Elliot's words and his touch as he rubbed her back and worked out the knots.

She remembered the doctor's warning about her blood pressure so she cleared her mind, or at least tried to, and meditated solely on the feel of Elliot's skin against hers – smiling as she felt a rolling movement in her belly.

**10's the magic number! So get reviewing :) I always get the biggest smile on my face when I see that little (1) next to my hotmail thingme :)**


	18. Chapter 18: Twist

**Good morning! 10 comments before I update as usual - I do love reviews :) Technically I suppose I should care more about how many reads the story is getting...but I don't! I just love the comments!**

The next day Dr. George Huang, their resident FBI psychiatrist had come over to the precinct personally to deliver the news about Rita Hayes' phantom pregnancy.

"She's not really pregnant" Huang explained. "From her subpoenaed medical records I saw that she miscarried at 4 months 9 months ago. It was a routine miscarriage and she and her husband were told they could try again without risk. But Mr. Hayes hadn't wanted the first baby; it had been Rita's plan to get pregnant so that he wouldn't leave her. She's made herself believe she is still pregnant to avoid coping with the pain of the first loss" he showed them the results of his examination.

"She convinced herself that if she 'stayed pregnant' she would somehow get or have a baby. Her stomach was slightly swollen from the hysterical pregnancy, but she also used a 'pregnancy pad'. A kind of cushion they use in maternity clothing stores so women can see how the clothes will fit in the coming months".

"DA's got her in arraignment right now. She's looking at 25 to life in Bellevue" Fin added. "But believe it or not we still have bigger issues"

Cragen appeared from around the corner. "Guy's at it again. 51st and Broadway – I have to give it to him this guy has balls. Both times he's placed the vic so they'll be seen in broad daylight, somewhere where people will see the body. Like he's trying to humiliate them"

"And that's valid" Huang piped up from where he was listening, propped up on a desk. "Both Elizabeth and the newest victim were both women in positions of power. Maybe they had humiliated him at some point"."I'll start looking through their phones, employee lists or work stuff, see if any names come up in both women's histories" Olivia turned to the computer and opened the police records database.

"El, El I found something". It was eight o' clock at night and they were still at the office. Olivia could have gone home hours ago despite the fact the rest of the squad were pulling an all-nighter. But despite everyone's protests, especially Elliot's she had ended up staying on. With the condition and proviso that every two hours she spent up and working she spent one hour if not sleeping then at least getting some rest in the crib.

"Any names come up?" Elliot came over and bent over her computer. "Just one" she moaned as she felt the warmth of his hands on her shoulders as they started to knead at her stiffening and sore muscles".

She tore herself away from the thought of how good a backache would feel right about now and brought up a new page on the screen. "Carl Jorkin".

Elliot snorted, "With a name like that he must be the sociopath". He sobered, "okay so he's our connection. Nothing else has come up in any other searches".

"I'm just bringing him up on Codus" Munch called out from his desk. He, Fin and Cragen gathered around Olivia's desk, it had kind of become the new unofficial meeting area for the squad so Liv didn't have to get up, although none of them would admit to that fact if questioned, which they'd all thoroughly been by Olivia the first couple of times it had happened.

"All right, Munch – Fin head over to Mr. Jorkin's place tomorrow. And for God's sake, don't make it look like we're too suspicious until you get him here, just get him here. If this is our guy he'll be in the wind at the first hint of anything amiss".

"Good work everybody, now go home, and get some rest. That goes double for you Liv" Cragen instructed his detectives.

"Hey Stabler, I could use a backrub when you're done over there" Fin catcalled to Elliot teasingly. Elliot mouthed a few choice phrases at him as he was getting his coat.

Olivia winced as she eased herself up from the chair she'd been planted in the last couple of hours, her belly had gotten large enough that her balance was now affected, caused a shift in her centre of gravity.

The result was sore muscles and an aching back really only soothed by hot packs and a hot bath, although even that last pleasure had been denied to her by the obstetrician so she'd had to settle for warm baths. Anything too hot and her blood pressure would rise even higher.

"You look exhausted, let's get you home", Elliot stared down at her worriedly. "I'm fine Elliot. Stop fussing". When they got to the car she put her hand on the gear shift, stopping him from starting the car, "You've asked me to trust you, and I do – completely. But now I need you to trust me to take care of myself and this baby. I'm not some fragile waif who's going to be blown over by a gust of wind and I'm not the kind of pregnant woman who needs to be pampered and spoiled. I did use to live independently, remember? Before I had this melon stuffed up my shirt?"

Elliot moved his hand, and at first she thought he was going to try and remove hers from the gearshift. But instead he laid his hand on her stomach, splaying his fingers over the growing bulge. "Hmm, not quite at the watermelon stage yet" he teased "more like a cantaloupe". She groaned at his bad attempt at humor and good naturedly swatted his hand away, "Oh just drive".

Elliot had to concede she did have a point. If for some reason he wasn't able to have been there or continue to be there for her pregnancy she would have managed by herself. She was stronger and more fiercely independent than any other woman, or man even, he'd ever met

. But he didn't want her to have to do it by herself. It wasn't that he thought she wasn't capable. It was that he found himself wanting to do these things for her. So he told her exactly that.

"Elliot why are you the only man who can reduce me to tears?" she grumbled as she made her way up to the apartment, Elliot's hand resting gently on her back for support as she climbed the stairs.

After they'd finished a quick dinner he kissed her, "now go have your bath" she kissed him back softly, a tinge of sadness flavoring her lips. "I just don't want to lose myself in all of this".

He cupped the back of her head and brought her forehead to rest against his as he looked deep into her eyes, forcing her to look into their depths and see what he knew to be true.

"You've known me for how many years now? And you have accepted me, temper and all for just as long. I love you Olivia Benson, exactly the way you are. Stubborn, passionate – with the biggest and most giving heart I've ever seen; and as long as I live I don't want you to change for me".

"I don't want you to change either" her lips trembled as she whispered back. He pressed his lips to the outside corner of her eye, his way of telling her not to cry – that everything would be alright and disappeared back into the kitchen to clear the dishes while she had her bath.

Olivia undressed, noting as she passed the mirror how every day her stomach seemed to round a little more, at 5 months she really did look pregnant now. And she thought of how funny it was that only 2 or 3 weeks ago she still could have passed as just chunky instead of pregnant if she was wearing baggy clothes.

But there it was, her body swollen with the child she thought she'd never have but always desperately wanted. And it had always been that way.

When she'd dreamed of what her future child might look like even before she was pregnant and together with Elliot, she'd always seemed to add in his features to her imaginary child's face.

His blue eyes, that sparked with a kind of lightness and vitality whenever they turned upon her, the dimple on the right side of his cheek that appeared whenever he was trying not to laugh but failing.

She emerged from underneath the water in the bath; except for her head, every part of her body was submerged under the frothy water. The only part that stuck out was her stomach, whose subtle swell crested above the subtle waves lapping around it like an island.

She would never cease to be amazed that there was a life inside of her, especially after a doctor's appointment she'd had several years ago when her then-current OB/GYN warned her that she would most likely have trouble conceiving; not only because of her age, but because of the toll that all her injuries from work had taken on her body.

That's why this baby was her miracle baby; proof that God answers prayers.

Elliot poked his head around the door and she motioned him in. "Come on in, see the whale in her natural habitat" "Not a whale" he said "more like a hippo". She splashed him in mock insult and then screeched as he stripped out of his wet clothes and joined her in the bathtub. "Elliot Stabler you never cease to amaze me" "I aim to please".

A while later he helped her out of the bath. She dried herself off while Elliot slipped into a new pair of briefs. Before she'd had the chance to change into her own worn t-shirt to sleep Elliot scooped her up again, carrying her into the bedroom and dropping her lightly on the middle of the bed. "This is getting to be a bad habit with you".

"Mmm, well Miss Independent; are we too high and mighty to want a backrub tonight then?" He teased and she groaned. "I hate you…no never mind that, I love you".

Elliot laughed as he grabbed the bottle of stretch mark cream from the bedside table. He warmed it between his hands and sat down next to her on the bed. He smoothed the lotion over the swell of her belly and she moaned in delight. "God, I've just been feeling stretched to the limit, I can't even imagine getting bigger. My stomach is already so tight and itchy" she admitted.

Elliot chuckled to himself, "well I hate to break it to you but you're going to be getting a lot bigger, the doctor said it'll grow a centimeter per week for just for your fundal height or whatever so you still have a little over 20 cm to grow. Your belly is still just a small cute bump" he patted it fondly and Olivia smiled, her eyes closed in contentment "Eurgh, small my ass!"

She sighed as his fingers skillfully worked their way across her distended abdomen, working in the pregnancy lotion Alex had given her to use. He turned so he was lying on his side, one hand underneath Olivia's shoulders holding her to him and the other still rubbing in large slow circles across where their baby lay; a move which never failed to get her to sleep.

He moved his hand and pressed firmly into the small of her back. She arched slightly in discomfort before going limp as his fingers deftly found and released the knot of tension that had been shooting a dull aching pain up and down her spine. She rested her head back down on Elliot's shoulder as he probed the sore muscles and tissue.

"Olivia" he whispered, "Mmhmm" she replied sleepily back . "Promise me you'll try and slow down a little and take it easy" She frowned in her almost sleep so he continued "I just want to keep you safe and healthy Liv, you and our baby. No more all-nighters" "'Kay" she mumbled before giving in to the heavy lure of unconsciousness that beckoned from her closed eyelids.

By the time Olivia and Elliot made it to work the next morning, Munch and Fin already had Carl Jorkin in custody, holding him in one of the interrogation rooms until they were ready to start. "Alright, Olivia and Elliot, are you ready to get started?"

They walked on through to the dank grey room, which always smelled of wet concrete and fear. "Carl Jorkins" Elliot started, crossing his arms and nodding to himself. "What was your relationship with Ms. George and Ms. Carmichael?" he named the second victim who had only been identified early this morning as Stacy Carmichael – an accountant for Wall Street who also dealt with personal bankruptcy and insolvency.

"Who?" the sandy haired man sat back in his chair, one leg crossed over the other with his arms behind his head. "These women" Olivia stated, slapping down the morgue photos as well as their publicity photos.

Carl stared at them for a moment, "Nope, don't recall ever meeting either one of these women" he insisted, eyes glittering. "Although if I'm looking at them, they look like they need to be taken down a notch and screwed until their proper senses return, until they're on their knees. No man likes a cold bitch. Need a real man to set her straight".

His face whitened slightly as he realized what he was saying, but he recovered and shook it off. Olivia leaned back and kicked the chair out from under him. He was still handcuffed so he couldn't brace his fall, but he did land on his knees.

Olivia crouched down next to him "like this…weak, limp, impotent" She leaned in even closer, "on your knees?" Carl Jorkins' lip curled back in a snarl and he drew back for a moment. But then he whipped his head around and used his shoulder to knock Olivia into the stone wall he sat against. Elliot grabbed him and slammed his head against the desk.

Carl's eye was rapidly swelling and his lip was split, but when he looked over at Olivia who was slowly getting up and holding onto the wall he snarled "now who's on their knees bitch? Like I said, you need a real man. You were probably knocked up by a test tube. No man would want a frigid whore like you".

"You just assaulted a pregnant cop dirt bag" Elliot slammed the guy's face into the table again, pulling him back by the hair until Cragen burst in, "Elliot, let him go. Fin put him in the cage" Cragen knelt next to Olivia who was shakily getting back on her feet. "Olivia!"

"I'm fine captain, I just hit my head against the wall when he pushed me". As soon as Elliot had handed Carl over to Fin, who was looking none too gentle, he rushed over to Olivia's side as well. "Liv, my God are you okay?"

She let herself be taken out of Cragen's arms and into his, "yeah- yeah I'll be fine. No one could have known the creep was going to head butt me into the wall". Their ADA appeared in the midst of all the commotion, having been called by Munch. "Is everyone okay?"

"I want Liv to be checked out by a doctor. I don't care about that slime-bag" said Elliot, helping Olivia to her feet.

"That slime-bag has already called a lawyer and is threatening pressing charges on both you and Detective Benson for assault. We don't have enough to hold him on the George case; we don't have anything except some paperwork suggestion that he was in contact with both victims. As I said, it's circumstantial" the ADA tried to explain wearily.

"He assaulted Olivia!" Elliot insisted. "And he'll be given a desk ticket and be out on bail in no time. If he could show up in court without looking like he went through a meat grinder we might have a better chance. But for now there is nothing more we can hold him on as soon as he gets the 5000 in bail money through, which should be any moment now" the woman explained wearily.

"Olivia are you all right?" Doctor Huang came through the doors of the precinct. "John called and said you were attacked by a suspect". "I'm okay" she insisted tiredly. "I don't feel any cramping or spotting so the baby's fine. As for me, I've been through worse". "At least let me make sure you don't have a concussion" Huang urged pulling out a small pen flashlight and shining it into her eyes.

"Liv just let him check you out; make sure you and babygirl number two in there are okay" Fin urged her. "Alright, if it will make you ladies feel better" she tried to joke, but laughing made her head throb even more.

"There's no concussion. I'd expect the normal headache and dizziness that occur after a blow to the head, as well as a good set of bruises tomorrow. If either symptom gets worse though get her to a hospital. This was a close call Liv, I'm glad you're alright".

Everyone nodded, even though Huang was talking to Olivia; if she had been standing instead of crouching down, Carl would have hit her in the stomach instead of the neck, potentially causing her to lose the baby.

Another uniformed officer came into the precinct with the bail papers to release Carl Jorkin. "Maybe you think twice about listening to your natural master next time; oh, and Olivia – just stay in the kitchen from now on".

Cragen stepped forward before the other men had a chance to charge, which he knew they were itching to get a chance to do, he was as well; "Get out of here" he ordered, speaking in a voice of steel which everybody knew he only used when he was furious.

"He's got to be our guy for the murders" Elliot said, still glaring at the open door through which Carl and Huang had just left; "there has to be something we can hold him on".

Their ADA shook her head again sadly, "unfortunately no. He invoked the counsel of his lawyer even though we weren't officially charging him with anything. The only thing we can do is wait"

"Yeah, until he strikes again" Fin added bitterly. "You sure you're okay babygirl?"

"Yeah I'm fine, thanks Fin" she squeezed his hand gratefully. "We just wanna make sure you're safe, both of you" John said gruffly. Olivia took his hand as well. She nodded over at Cragen, who was still standing uncomfortably on the outside of their little circle.

Elliot was already crouching beside her where she sat, his hand protectively rubbing her belly. Munch and Fin awkwardly put their hands on her stomach as well as she pulled her hands down, and she reached out for Cragen's holding it against the swell of what would be his 'grand-child'.

"Hey was that her?" Munch jerked back but didn't remove his hand as he felt a tiny rolling nudge from under her shirt. She nodded, looking fondly down at Munch who was looking a little awestruck.

The five of their lives were filled with so much pain, so much sadness and human evil and suffering…the kick they felt that was a promise of new life gave them a breath of new life as well.

"My baby is so lucky to have you all for family" she smiled tearfully at the sight of the 5 different hands covering her belly, protecting her baby.

The joy and life written all over their faces was enough to fill any hole she'd ever felt was present in her heart. With that, her baby, and Elliot's love – it was all she would ever need or want. This was her family.

As they broke apart, Munch, Fin and Cragen all turned and got back to their work, brushing their eyes sniffing, hoping that they weren't seen.

**Ooh, so do you like my _TWIST_? :) 10 comments!**


	19. Chapter 19: Poison

**Hey readers! I thought everybody had died and dropped off the face of the Earth because I barely got any comments last time but apparently there was some issue with review submission so I'm chalking it up to that. **

**So please review! 10 reviews before the next chapter! And if for whatever reason reviews aren't being submitted just drop me a message!**

With each passing day, Olivia's stomach swelled bigger and bigger, although she complained the rest of her was thickening as well.

"I think all the baby weight has gone to my thighs and butt" she sighed. "It's your fault" she grouched to Cragen. "If I wasn't on desk duty I could be walking around outside not turning into 'The Thing That Ate Everything'".

"Well you make a very cute pregnant thing, Liv" Munch teased her and she threw her remaining half a donut at him as he came into work. She was a little more than 6 and a half months into the pregnancy.

So far, with the insistent help of Elliot and the rest of the Special Victims Squad, she had managed to keep her blood pressure within normal levels and while the doctor didn't think the baby was going to be large, fetal growth seemed normal for dates.

The only time her blood pressure had ever gone up dangerously since the first visit was when they'd gotten more news about Calvin.

As the time got closer for Calvin to move in with Olivia, Vivian had made a real effort to clean up. The courts said that if she could present herself 6 months sober and drug-free they would award full custody back to her.

Right now, she and Olivia actually had shared custody. Vivian had offered Olivia full like she had promised. Olivia loved Calvin and she knew he loved her, but truly she knew that he was Vivian's son, and he knew that too.

The one bright moment in the whole dark episode was that Vivian and Calvin were moving back to New York. The building they would be living in was only a few blocks over from Olivia's apartment.

"Is it weird that I think of you as a kind of mom, Olivia?" Calvin had asked during one of their phone conversations. "I mean, I love my mom. And now that she's clean I want to live with her but…I feel like you're kinda my second mom you know what I mean? I love you too. That's why it's going to be so awesome when we move back to the city. Cuz then I can come over all the time right? And see the new baby. She's still my sister right?"

He asked the last question fearfully, as though he was afraid of losing a second family. "Right" Olivia had laughed tearfully over the phone. "And you'll still have the pull out bed here for when you sleep over".

"Kay, thanks for everything Olivia, tell my sister I love her too!" "She knows", Olivia sniffed as she rubbed her belly thinking about his words.

It really had turned out to be the perfect arrangement. Calvin would get to stay with Olivia and Elliot one night a week when Vivian worked a late shift, and their apartments were close enough together that it was easy to visit.

Eli had even talked to Calvin over the phone, and Olivia had listened in secretly on the other line, smiling as she heard Eli tell Calvin all about his giraffe and Calvin easily encouraging Eli and asking questions of the little boy.

"So, kind of like how you said you thought of me as your adopted son, you're my adopted mom. Kids can do that right?" "You sure can" Olivia assured him as she picked up the empty Kleenex box and moved towards the garbage.

So there was one part of her life that had fallen into place, albeit not the place where she had thought it would fall.

Olivia smiled at the memory, "Have you guys started a betting pool on how much this baby is going to weigh? Because my guess is 20 lbs." she groaned jokingly.

The guilty looks on both Munch and Fin's faces told her – her guess had been right. "I'm barely 28 weeks along!" she exclaimed "I still have more than 3 months to go! You know my due date's not until December right?"

Sheepishly, Munch pulled out a double sided poster board. One side labeled 'weight', the other labeled 'date'. She grabbed her newspaper off her desk and proceeded to swat them both with it. "Assault, assault" Munch cried out jokingly, fending off her half-hearted blows.

She plopped back down on her chair and leaned back slightly, looking very self-satisfied with a hand resting on her belly, "Oh and thanks to whoever brought the croissants in" she continued, now with her mouth full of the half eaten pastry in her hand.

"Ooh there's croissants?" John's eyes lit up and Olivia had the grace to look a little guilty, "umm, not anymore". Fin snorted "and this is why we bet on you" he kidded. Olivia considered throwing the remaining half of her croissant at him but decided it would be a waste.

"How are my two best girls?" Elliot asked, shaking his coat off on his desk and coming around to Olivia's side. This was his first time in the office today even though it was nearing ten o' clock when their usual days started at 8 or 9; he'd been out all morning chasing yet another dead lead on the George and Carmichael case, which was now 2 months cold. "We're great thanks for asking" Munch replied jokingly and Fin snickered.

He crouched down in front of Olivia, kissing her belly before rising back up to kiss her. "Hey there's croissants?" Elliot saw the container in the trash bin and Munch laughed, "not anymore; apparently three croissants is a light snack for the expecting". Olivia glared at him, "that was hours ago, okay one hour ago… can we forget the damn croissants?" Elliot kissed her again laughing and a grudging smile appeared on her face.

But their lightheartedness turned to grim resolution and disappointment as it looked more and more like another day would go on without a lead for the Marquis murders, named so because of the varieties of torture used on the victims before they were killed like the Marquis De Sade had done in 19th century France. Hence the term 'sadistic' was born and the practice of it took off, giving homicide and svu detectives a job.

"There hasn't been another murder yet from him, d'you think he's moved on or he has a target in mind" Elliot murmured, looking again through the reports spread out on his desk.

"More likely he has a target in mind" Fin replied, "All his rage is being fueled by one woman, and once he fins and gets her. Phew, it ain't gonna be pretty".

Despite the cooling down of the weather now that it was September, Olivia wiped beads of sweat off her forehead.

Damn pregnancy hormones, she thought to herself; these days her inner thermostat seemed to be turned to maximum level – which all her pregnancy books said was normal but today seemed particularly bad. She ran her hands through her damp hair and continued the search.

She flipped over an old case file she'd been looking at that had similarities with one hand, rubbing the underside of her belly with the other. Evidently, the others had been right about the number of croissants she'd eaten because she was paying for it now with wicked indigestion.

It was that thought that kept her from mentioning the light irregular cramping that had started shortly after she'd finished the last half of the remaining croissant. Her stomach gave another uncomfortable nauseous flop and she put down her pencil so she could use both hands to cradle her stomach.

"Eurgh, no one let me eat like that again" she groaned to the group, "why not? You've been tearing through every available piece of food here since you got pregnant. I'm surprised the croissants bothered you considering last week you downed what was it?" "Seven" Munch supplied "Right seven" Fin continued "seven Twinkies".

Elliot shot the rest of the group a glare, albeit a semi-amused one because they were right, and started to move towards Olivia but she waved him off. "I'm fine, I'm fine. Baby's just sitting on my bladder" she reassured him. He eyed her for a moment and then went to drop off a DD5 in Cragen's office's overflowing in-basket.

She stretched out and grimaced slightly, arching her back in her chair with both hands. 'Okay, no more croissants ever', she mentally told herself, 'or food'. She'd finished one of her old DD5's as well and stood to go hand it over as well.

Her knees buckled slightly as she stood and she held onto the side of her desk feeling strangely weak. Her head spun as she gasped for air. Everything seemed to be going in slow-motion, she had to tell herself to take a breath or hold herself up. The dizziness got worse as she tried to stand up, her mouth dry and her head pounding.

She tried to call for Elliot but no sound came out but a disturbing high-pitched keening sound she realized was coming from her own mouth. Her stomach clenched in another tight vise and Olivia couldn't breathe.

All this happened in less than a minute, and instantly Fin and Munch were at her side, holding her up as she buckled. "Liv what's wrong?" Another cramp struck her and she cried out again. "Oh it hurts" was all she could gasp out. Her eyes were shut against the pain, and bright sparks of light popped from beneath her eyelids as the dizziness threatened to take her with it into the blackness.

Elliot had run out of Cragen's office when he heard the first shout from Olivia. "Call a bus! Olivia, what is it? What hurts honey?" Her arms were still wrapped around her belly and Elliot placed his hand on the swell with as little pressure as possible.

"Tell me where it hurts "Everywhere" she moaned, "my head, my stomach, oh!" she gasped out again at the severe pain that seemed to slice through her abdomen and she doubled over involuntarily with the force of the spasm.

Everything became a blurred haze of colours and shapes as her legs gave out and she slipped to the floor, still held by Munch and Fin.

"Olivia!" Cragen's voice cut through the air sounding terrified as he reached her now as well. "I called a bus, it'll be here in a couple of minutes" the captain put his hand underneath her head so it wasn't on the floor and paused for a moment. "Elliot, Elliot her pulse is way too fast" his hand came away damp "and she's sweating, what is this?"

"I don't know" Elliot admitted, "it's never happened before, not with Kathy either". Now Elliot cradled her head with his hands, "Olivia wake up" he pleaded. When she didn't he bowed his head over her and kissed the corner of her eye like he always did to tell her everything would be okay.

"Just stay with us Liv" Cragen urged as the sound of sirens came closer. The paramedics burst into the squad room and laid the stretcher down parallel to Olivia. "What are you doing? Get her to a hospital!" Munch yelled at the two men who were checking her vital signs, Fin looking murderous beside him agreeing.

"Procedure" came the brisk reply, "on the count of three we lift her" he said to his partner. Her arms were strapped down to the stretcher as were her legs before she was carried out. "You go in the bus, we'll follow" Cragen told Elliot as he ran for the door.

Olivia woke several times during the ambulance ride to the hospital, just long enough to see the outline of Elliot's face and the hanging IV and oxygen bag before the pain returned her to the blackness, where her head never stopped spinning.

"Shallow breathing, erratic fast pulse, presenting with severe abdominal pains and headache" Elliot watched and listened in terror as the medics worked on Olivia.

Without warning, she jerked forward and vomited. Apparently still unconscious she started to slump back again but this time Elliot caught her and held her upright, afraid she was going to choke if she was sick again.

He rocked her back and forth in his arms, whispering in her ear and brushing back limp sweaty strands of hair from her face. "Olivia, Liv baby stay with me, stay with me honey, keep breathing. I know it's hard but I need you come out of whatever quiet place you're in and keep breathing Olivia. You're so strong, think of our baby, think of our little girl. God, think of me. I love you so much Olivia, I can't lose you, I won't".

As the ambulance pulled into the hospital a few minutes later her eyes fluttered open. "Elliot" she moaned weakly as she started to regain consciousness. Her first sensations were of sheer acute pain - behind her eyes and tight cramps that gripped her belly, seeming to squeeze the life out of her. "El…"

"I'm right here Liv" "Hurts" she slurred, sounding as if she were drugged. Then her eyes flashed and she was completely lucid and aware of her surroundings. She cried out as the stretcher was lifted from the ambulance and placed on a gurney, each bump on the pavement and each turn taken in the hallways were agony.

"Our baby" she choked out. Elliot squeezed her hand as he ran alongside the gurney; "We're not going to lose her Olivia, I'm not going to lose you". A burly looking male nurse in scrubs stopped him at the doors to the OR. "Sir, you can't come in". "Just save my wife and daughter!" he yelled after the man, not realizing what he had said.

He wouldn't sit or take the coffee that was offered to him, he just paced outside the doors of the surgery, jumping every time they opened.

Finally, a doctor came out who introduced himself as Dr. Bierman. The first thing the man said was "Ms. Benson is still in surgery", he held up a hand for silence "it is unclear at the moment whether we will have to deliver her, however if we can't regulate her pulse and blood pressure we'll be forced to do an emergency C-section".

"Would the baby survive that?" Elliot questioned urgently, feeling like hours had passed before the physician spoke again. "At 28 weeks gestation, the fetus can be determined as viable. But with the risks involved and with Ms. Benson's history of complications I would lower the rate to something like 15-20% chance of survival".

Elliot could only stare at the man who was telling him his life was ending.

"But as I said, we may be able to avoid premature delivery". "I thought delivering the baby was the only way to cure pre-eclampsia?" "Ms. Benson is experiencing some symptoms of pre-eclampsia, but her blood pressure wasn't what brought on the attack".

Elliot's brow wrinkled in confusion, "what, are you saying it's not pre-eclampsia?" "Mr. Stabler, when any patient presents with respiratory symptoms and increased heart-rate we automatically do a toxicology screening" the doctor explained. "You think she was poisoned?" Elliot's voice had lowered in disbelief until it was barely audible.

"It appears she was drugged with a mix of ephedrine, sodium and caffeine – all of which in sufficient amounts are known to increase blood pressure and atrial arrhythmia, an erratic heartbeat. I hate to have to ask you this, but there was no way these levels of chemicals could have been accidentally taken to the point of overdose. Was there any chance Ms. Benson was trying to eliminate the pregnancy?"

"No!" Elliot roared, he lunged at the man and caught him by the collar of his white coat. He let go immediately and dropped his hands, panting. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but no, no she would never do that".

The doctor straightened his tie and jacket, "then has she ingested anything abnormal or out of the ordinary in the last several hours?" Elliot shook his head, trying to think "No, we had breakfast at home – I had the same thing, the…"

His words died in his throat, "I was gone from the office this morning, and when I came back she had eaten several croissants from the squad room." The doctor scribbled something down on his pad, "do you know where they came from or who they came from".

Elliot's face crumpled in self-hatred, "I didn't even think to check, there's always food around" The doctor nodded again before his pager beeped. He glanced down at it, "someone will be with you shortly" and disappeared down another hallway.

Elliot turned around; fists still clenched and noticed a coolness on his face. He glanced at the reflective elevator doors and saw his face was wet with tears he wasn't even aware he had shed.

Five minutes later, just when Elliot was threatening the hospital staff with charges of improper conduct a familiar face appeared. Olivia's OB/GYN came through the OR doors. Before Elliot could speak she laid a hand on his arm.

"She and the baby are both going to be fine. We didn't have to perform a C-section, as it was we were able to avoid invasive surgery entirely". His mouth opened and closed wordlessly before he could get a grip on his thoughts and emotions. "I want to see her"

"She's resting right now, but you can see her in a moment. Dr. Bierman informed you about the suspected poisoning?" Elliot nodded. As they walked down another hallway to where Olivia was recovering she paused for a moment, "she's not out of the woods yet. If we can't keep her blood pressure at stable levels for the next 24 hours we'll have to do the C-section anyway".

"But we've given her a shot to help mature the baby's lungs in case that happens. If we do manage to reduce the hypertensive symptoms we can release you after another 48 hours if she hasn't presented with any new symptoms. I know this is hard, but consider yourselves lucky. We thought we were going to have to pump her stomach, but it appeared she had vomited most of the contents of her stomach in the ambulance".

Elliot nodded dumbly and reached out for the door to her room. "And Elliot?" he turned around to face Doctor Diangelo again whose mouth now tightened in a grim grey line.

"Catch the sick bastard who did this, will you?" Elliot gave her one long hard look that said he planned to do a lot more than just catch the guy and entered Olivia's room.

**I wish I could say that this was the last of Olivia and Elliot's troubles, but there's still a distant storm on the horizon threatening ever closer. I'm just writing one of the last chapters right now, Liv's delivery. So comment (or message) away!**


	20. Chapter 20: Breathe

**Poor Liv :( I know a lot of you are begging me to write something happy and fluffy but life's not like that at times. There's always going to be hurt, there's going to be pain nd danger and fear lurking around the corner. But what's important is that you have someone to hold onto, to catch you when you fall - even if it seems you're in a perpetual state of 'falling' so to speak. **

**But I digress, there's a happy ending I promise! But I'm afraid the case isn't over yet, and before it ends, our beloved characters will find themselves caught up in the eye of the storm...**

** I NEED name suggestions btw. I have a few rolling around but I was writing the birth scene yesterday and I kept putting NAME! in instead of an actual name despite an hour of looking at baby name websites :P**

**So read and comment comment comment!**

Elliot's heart squeezed painfully as he looked down at the still figure of Olivia, looking so weak and infinitely fragile as she lay curled around the large bulge of her stomach, protecting their baby even in her sleep.

As if she was sensing his presence her eyes opened and he dropped to his knees by the bed, gently stroking a thumb down the side of her face.

"We have to stop meeting like this" Olivia croaked, weakly attempting a smile.

Elliot started to laugh but it was caught by a sob in the back of his throat. He bent his head, ashamed of his tears and he felt Olivia's now cool hand resting against his cheek trying to comfort him.

He turned his head to kiss the inside of her palm. "I'm sorry Olivia…" "Sorry for what? You can't test everything I put in my mouth for potential poisons".

She patted the bed beside her, which was already three quarters of the way reclined: "I could use a shoulder right now" she whispered with a watery smile until it turned into actual tears that she couldn't stop. "I, I'm trying not to worry…for the baby, because of my blood pressure" she hiccupped sadly

"But I'm so scared. She's too little to come out right now Elliot" she looked up at him, searching for something in his face that would tell her everything was going to be fine.

Being mindful of the different IVs and monitors he pulled her closer and she buried her face in his chest as he stroked her back.

"I was sure I was going to lose her Elliot. I still might lose her, I told you I'm not fit to be a mother and I want to stop crying because I know it's bad for the baby but I can't. I can't do this" she wailed.

"Then we'll do it together" Elliot assured her looking into her eyes. "We're in this together Olivia, no matter what happens I will be here. And I promise; I promise you that we're going to find the person who did this to you".

They were silent for a while before Elliot spoke again, "Can you feel her?" he rubbed her belly gently and tears filled her eyes again but she didn't allow them to fall. "Not so much yet; Dr. Diangelo said she's probably in shock – but her heartbeat was nice and strong when they checked to see if she was…if there was still…" her voice trailed off and Elliot's grip tightened around her.

There was a knock on the door, Munch, Fin and Cragen came in, looking almost as upset as Elliot and Olivia felt. The sight of their concerned faces did it and Olivia burst into tears.

They gathered around her bedside, "the doctors told us what happened" Munch started but Cragen interjected looking not the least sorry "official police business, or so they think…Liv…we're going to find the sonofabitch. IAB can go screw themselves for all I care, because we're each getting a shot at him" he promised, adding "just don't leave any visible marks".

"If only we hadn't let you eat those damn croissants" Fin started "then one of you would have almost died, except it wouldn't have been by poison" she smiled sadly "it was no one here's fault. And unless you're 100% certain that something is poisoned, don't take food away from a pregnant woman".

Cragen chuckled in spite of himself, "there's our girl" he said fondly. "Now let's let you get some rest okay?" Everyone except Elliot headed back out the door. The hospital had given him special dispensation to stay overnight with her now that she was a victim of attempted murder. Besides, both Elliot and Olivia knew she would sleep better if he were there.

As the doctors had said might happen, she was ill again several times throughout the night – the effects of her body flushing out the toxins made her sick to her stomach. But each time Elliot faithfully held her hair back, constantly getting fresh cold washcloths to lay over her forehead, and rubbing her stomach in that same soothing rhythm that was one of the only things that could calm her down enough to sleep.

And his all his efforts paid off, because Olivia's blood pressure started to creep back down to normal, and by morning was at a stable level again. Which, if it stayed that way, would mean she could be released from the hospital the following day. Although she'd be put on moderate bed rest for the next month until she was 32 weeks, it was a small price to pay for the life of her daughter.

Olivia was exhausted when she woke late the next morning, even though she saw she had slept for hours. The doctors said it was because her heart had been through so much yesterday; it had worked as hard as an athlete in a marathon's might.

Huang stopped by later to see how Olivia was doing, and to offer his help. It was imperative Olivia's blood pressure stay in a certain range and not go above it, and one of the only ways this could happen was for her to, at least if not avoid stress, learn how to handle it and not let it affect her. So Dr. Huang, being a psychiatrist, was here to teach her some relaxation techniques that she could use in everyday situations to lower her stress levels.

"Ugh, I feel stupid" Olivia complained as she got into a cross legged position, "I don't think breathing is going to help my stress levels, I think that catching rapists is though, so can we talk about the case?"

"Now close your eyes" Huang instructed, purposely ignoring Olivia's question. "I'm going to teach you 4 breathing and relaxation exercises. Two you can do on your own and two Elliot can do with you".

She opened one eye and stuck her tongue out at Elliot, "ha ha, now you have to do it too" she teased. Elliot replied by sticking his own tongue out and Huang rolled his eyes, "all this and you still can't see you're perfect for one another. Alright then, exercise one:…"

Huang showed them the techniques and talked about when Olivia should use them as preventative measures. "Well at least I'll be a little more prepared for childbirth class. It starts next week; can you believe I'm almost 30 weeks pregnant? Or will be by the time the class starts". Elliot raised one eyebrow teasingly as he pointedly looked at her stomach then back at her face "I can believe it".

"You're terrible" she swatted him and he dodged it laughing; "Hey, if you're getting upset we can always try those breathing exercises we're supposed to be practicing daily". This time it was Olivia who rolled her eyes heavenward.

"She's moving a little more this morning" she said in a softer tone, as if speaking loudly would startle the baby back into stillness. She had her hands underneath her stomach as if she were holding it off her knees. Olivia's gaze turned back to belly thoughtfully and Elliot kissed her, breaking her out of her reverie.

He held her chin up "Hey…we're going to get through this; all of us. You are going to keep growing that baby in your belly, we are going to do the ridiculous breathing and go to the cliché childbirth classes, you're going to continue eating us out of house and home and I will be with you when you are giving birth to our daughter, even if you try and throw me out or curse me for being the one who knocked you up. I'll be here. I'm never going anywhere else Liv. The only place I call home is with you, wherever that is".

Olivia nodded and smiled tightly despite the lump in her throat. "Now, if all goes well I get to take my two favourite girls home today. Why don't you get some rest, you were so sick last night you must be exhausted.

She was, but she didn't want Elliot to leave either. She knew it was stupid, she was a 42 year old cop who carried a gun, but at the moment that didn't matter, she wanted Elliot with her. His thumb brushed against her lower lip which she'd been biting nervously.

Without saying a word he slipped off his shoes and got back into the bed. Olivia sighed in relief and snuggled into him, her eyes closing almost instantly as the full weight of what she'd gone through in the last 40 or so hours sank in. Just this once, it felt so good to let herself depend on someone.

The doctors wouldn't release Olivia until Elliot had signed a slew of paperwork and release forms so he slipped out of the room to arrange everything so the transition from hospital to back home was as painless and stress-free as possible.

Olivia was back in good health; all the toxins had been flushed out of her system but had left her feeling pretty weak. But other than remembering to keep an eye on her blood pressure, she was medically cleared.

Elliot was signing the last few pieces of paperwork when he heard a kind of strangled sob. In a hospital, crying people and families weren't uncommon – especially on the maternity floor, but he knew the voice that had cried out. It was the only voice that could reach inside him and stop his heart from beating; Olivia.

Pushing the forms aside in a flurry of white paper Elliot ran back the hundred yards or so to her room. Olivia was shaking.

He ran his hands down her arms as if feeling for anything hurt or broken, "Liv, what happened?" She shook her head, angry tears spilling out from her eyes. "It's stupid, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't mean to scream" she insisted, but still she clung to Elliot.

"It's just I…I woke up and there was a tray on the table beside me and…and all I could see on it was the stupid plate of croissants" she cried. "I thought he had found me, I thought he'd been in here while I was sleeping and if he had been he could have hurt my baby".

Elliot kept rocking her, "Shhh, it's okay. You're not stupid, it was a mistake. The hospital should have known, I should have told them". The nurse had flown out of the room with the tray when Olivia had woken but Elliot found her cowering at the nurse's station and explained the slightly odd situation. The young girl apologized profusely, but it wasn't her he was worried about, it was Olivia.

"Are you ready to go home?" he asked softly, coming back into the room. She nodded and didn't even complain this time when she was made to sit in the wheelchair to be released from the hospital. She was silent on the car ride home.

"What's happening to me Elliot?" she whispered the question desperately as the lock turned in the front door. "I am so scared…all the time. It never used to be like this, I never used to be like this and I just hate it. What kind of person would want to harm an unborn child anyway? I understand they might be angry at me but, but not my baby. Maybe the people at the adoption agency were right; I shouldn't be allowed to have a child"

"Never say that Olivia. You and I both know damn well that isn't true. Someone is trying to hurt you. You have every right to be scared and happy and angry and emotional all at the same time, you're having a baby – you're supposed to be a little bit of a mess anyways emotionally. And you know I'm going to catch the sick bastard who did this"

She just nodded and smiled sadly. Elliot didn't even try and have to convince her to rest; she just showered and curled up on the couch wrapped up in her own misery. Elliot had come back from running some errands and took one look at her forlorn form lying there still and silent and went over to the sofa.

He didn't say anything; just pulled her into his arms and let her cry, the harsh sobs giving way to a silent stream of tears and then to numbness as time went on.

Elliot got up from the couch carefully. Olivia had finally been able to fall asleep after hours of crying and talking and worrying. A smile came to his face as an idea started to form in his head. Quickly he picked up the phone and dialed Captain Cragen.

The next day Olivia woke up with a new perspective and she mused over it as the morning sun dappled the curtains and shone through to warm her face. She was not going to be a victim. She was not going to let some worthless creep destroy her life and her happiness.

She dropped her arms from stretching and got dressed. Even if she was stuck on bed rest again it didn't mean she couldn't look ready for action.

"Ready for your surprise?" Elliot asked as he helped her out of the car. "Elliot, for the millionth time – why am I wearing a blindfold?" She couldn't help but wonder what had happened that Elliot was willing even to let her leave the bed nonetheless the apartment.

Finally he stopped and squeezed her hand so she would know to do the same. He kissed her and then untied the blindfold. "We're at the precinct" she stated slowly trying to figure out what Stabler was getting at. "Mmhmm" Elliot agreed grinning broadly.

Cragen's office door opened and Elliot started to lead her in. She stubbed her toe walking in the door and cursed softly before looking up. What she saw made her curse even louder. In the place of a set of filing cabinets, which had been pushed to the other side of the mahogany paneled room; there was one of the cot beds from the crib.

Olivia shook her head; "what?" "I knew you would stress out about work if you were home, and I knew that I'd worry if I couldn't watch over you – whether you may want that or not" he added quickly.

A laptop was set up on a desk that she could roll away from the bed and all her current case files were sitting in a pile at the foot of the bed. "You guys did all this…for me?"

Cragen stepped forward and Munch and Fin both appeared at the door looking more than a little pleased with themselves. "D'you like it? Munch asked. "It's perfect" she assured everyone in the room, "now I know I have work to do, and I'm betting you guys have even more. So what's say we catch this creep from the George case and put him to bed permanently.

"This way, any perps that don't have to see you won't. And IAB can't say anything about this arrangement because you're in my office" Cragen smiled "besides now we all get to look out for you". Olivia mock groaned at the thought of 4 overprotective males shadowing her but all she could do was feel touched by the sincerity of their gesture.

This plan seemed to solve almost everything, already Liv and Elliot had been financially preparing for the baby, there was still no way that they could make it without both of them working up until Olivia's due date. Even then, Olivia could only afford to take a 6 week maternity leave.

But now, even on bed rest, she wouldn't miss any noticeable work time, and she could still take it easy. Both Huang and her OB/GYN agreed that her blood pressure would more likely increase if she was made to sit around and do nothing all day except worry.

So this was a way of having her do nothing physical, but still mentally take place in the investigation and keep her mind off other worries.

**But in the next chapter or so, I am giving you some fluff - because really, who doesn't love a good bit of fluff and smut, fluffy smut if you will ;)**

**10 comments before next upload! We only have 10 000 words left until the end!**


	21. Chapter 21: Doubts & Doulas

**Here's some light-hearted fluff - as promised! Next chapter you get smut and just saying, the titles of the next chapters are HOSTAGE, STORM and FAIRYTALE and then there's just the epligue! I'll let your imaginations do the work for now, but after 10 comments it goes up so comment away!**

This arrangement turned out to work great. Olivia only had to walk into the building and then she'd be off her feet for the majority of the day without really complaining about it. Cragen was being such a sweetheart about practically giving his up office as well, always going outside to make a phone call so he didn't disturb her if he thought she was asleep – which didn't happen very often, but it seemed like as she lost sight of her feet she also lost more of her energy.

She also joked that she felt like the squad's mascot or lucky charm, everyone had taken to coming into Cragen's office now for information meeting, she guessed to make her feel included, and without fail – every time they left they her office they would rub her belly.

"It's like I'm the Special Victims Buddha" she laughed one day as everyone filed out. Munch looked down at her like he thought she was going to explode "you sure you still have 10 weeks left?" he asked only half joking.

She groaned, "Ugh, more than that can you believe it? I'm only just seven months! And everybody knows it's really more like 10 months if you actually count it out" "Well, 9 and 3/4" Elliot helpfully supplied and she shot him a glare. "You're the one that did this to me Stabler, when you're carrying around an extra 25 pounds in front of you then we'll talk".

"What did I tell you?" Elliot whispered to Fin out of the corner of his mouth. "Dude, you started her off" he laughed back; "I am still in the room you know" she tried to glare but just ended up snorting with laughter.

"Are you done with your 5's? I wanted to grab dinner before our first childbirth class" "Yeah, I'm just cleaning them up and we can head out. Should only be another 5 or 10 minutes".

"Oh Good" she replied back "then I'll have just enough time to go to the bathroom again and put on my shoes – though that might take more than 10 minutes" she grinned ruefully as they left the room.

"Need a hand?" Cragen looked up from his desk. Olivia smiled gratefully, "Thanks Cap, but I think I got it" she managed to slip her feet into her shoes with only minor difficulty as she put a hand out to steady herself on one of the file cabinets.

She winced and her hand flew to the top of her stomach, "Liv what's wrong, are you okay?" Cragen was halfway out of his seat before she had a chance to speak. "No, no, I'm okay – really. She's just started to kick a lot harder and wedge herself underneath my ribs".

Elliot walked in the door as she finished and he dropped his 5's on Cragen's desk before kissing Olivia and then bending over to talk to her belly "give your mom a break okay honey? You're both supposed to be resting up" The baby kicked again and Olivia sighed as she grabbed her coat, "she has your stubbornness Liv" Cragen called out as the pair left.

Olivia and Elliot grabbed a hotdog from a nearby stand before heading over to their class, although Olivia ended up eating half of his anyways. "Why do I have the feeling that I would lose a finger if I tried withholding food from you" he teased as she polished off the last bite.

"Because you have good intuition" she smiled back, not missing a beat and licking mustard off her fingers.

Elliot smiled as he reached out for the front door to the community centre where the classes were being held. They walked into the room and were instantly surrounded by couples in various stages of pregnancy. They all rushed up to Olivia and Elliot as though they were fresh meat and the questions started.

"When are you due?"

"What OB/GYN are you seeing?"

"How much weight have you gained?"

"Are your ankles as swollen as mine?"

"Do you know if you're having a girl or a boy?"

"Is this your first time taking the class?" one woman asked in a very superior tone, patting her very flat tummy "Jerry and I taking it once a trimester, you can never be too careful or prepared!"

Olivia's mouth hung open wordlessly; the only thing going through her mind was a loud "Oh dear God, personal space, personal space" Elliot sensed Olivia's feeling of being overwhelmed so put his arm around her waist and fielded and deflected the questions, some very personal, as they were thrown their way.

"What have we gotten ourselves into?" Olivia whispered as they were finally able to break away from the horde. "Some woman just asked me what nipple cream I plan on using!" Elliot snorted, "I hope you told her hot cayenne peppers".

"Elliot we don't belong here, what are we supposed to say to them? Hi we're Olivia and Elliot, many people consider us too old to start a family, we hunt down sexual deviants for a living and currently there's one out there who would like to get at me? And don't tell me to breathe!" she snapped.

"We're going to tell them the truth, that you're expecting your first child with me, who has several children from a previous relationship, that we're madly in love and that this is our miracle baby" his hand moved up to her shoulders to relax the muscles she'd just tightened.

He felt her un-tense them and she raised her face for a kiss "I'm so glad you're here with me" she admitted quietly. "For someone who hunts down sexual deviants for a living this is still by far the scariest thing I've ever done".

The group leader, a slightly pinched faced woman in her forties called everyone to start and take their place in a circle. She had been too shocked to notice from before, but now Olivia saw that every couple had a blanket or mat and a pillow with them.

"Great" Elliot thought to himself, as he noted some accusing stares from the group members already seated on the floor, "First, Olivia's worried about the class and fitting in and then we get shunned for not bringing a blanket".

He shrugged out of his jacket and laid it out on the floor. She looked up at him questioningly before accepting his hand and lowering herself to the floor. Elliot sat behind her, like all the other partners seemed to be doing and she leaned into his arms.

He pressed his lips to her neck and whispered into her ear "I'm sorry baby – the only one of these I went to was 26 years ago for Maureen, and I missed most of them because I was still a foot-patrol cop back then".

She shook her head and let it rest against his shoulder, telling him it didn't matter as the woman began to speak.

"Okay now everyone. We're going to go around the circle and introduce ourselves and our partners. Say your name, due date, if you know the gender and any other important details about your pregnancy" the woman instructed "starting to my left".

The first couple was a man and a woman, both wearing brightly coloured tunics and gold bangles. "Hey" the woman started in a raspy slow kind of voice, "I'm Angel and this is Leo" she gestured back to her long haired husband who was nodding and smiling.

"We're pregnant with our 4th child due at the fall equinox. We don't believe in cold medical supervision so we're letting the Earth goddess surprise us with whatever gender our baby chooses to be. And we're going to birth outside, completely naturally with no drugs. We have a great placenta recipe we used with our other children".

The woman beside her looked completely horrified, and surreptitiously edged the expensive grey cashmere blanket she was sitting on further away, patting down any stray hairs that weren't caught tightly in the blonde chignon. Her husband looked equally uncomfortable.

"Erm, I'm Julia Forsythe and this is my husband Ken. This is our first child, a boy we're naming Kenneth Julius Xavier Forsythe II, and we're having a scheduled C-section two weeks before Christmas so we can fly to the Bahamas as usual for the holidays with enough time to train the new nanny".

This time it was Angel and Leo's turn to look horrified. So when it came time for Olivia and Elliot to introduce themselves they were even more nervous.

"I'm Elliot and this is Olivia" Elliot started as Olivia was still staring in confusion at the first several couples. "Uh, right" Olivia snapped back to attention. "I'm Olivia and we're expecting our first child together, a little girl due December 18th and uh…I've been on bed rest multiple times with this pregnancy because of a partial abruption at 17 weeks and hypertension related complications at 28 weeks".

Elliot, who had been holding her hand while she was talking, lifted it and pressed it to his lips; he knew it was hard for Olivia to talk about the times they had almost lost their baby. The group nodded sympathetically before moving on.

The instructor continued on after the other 4 couples had introduced themselves. "Today we're going to learn some techniques that you partners can use to help mom during labour to take her mind off contractions or the sensations of the C-section" she nodded in deference to the Forsythes.

"So moms, lean back into your partner and let them support your weight. Close your eyes and focus on deep and even breathing. With every contraction you are going to breathe out the sensation of pain and breathe a sense of strength".

Olivia heard and felt Elliot snort and she elbowed him, unable to hold back a smile herself. But they caught the instructor's disapproving eye and sobered up, or at least pretended to.

"And partners, part of your job during the labour and birth is to find out what and how mom wants to be touched and what relieves her pain and helps her to center her energies. So while I will be teaching you several useful types of massage, it will be also be a trial and error experience.

So partners and dads, always move in downwards or circular motions, keeping the flow of energy in a continuous circle or out of the body.

You can start by placing your palms on top of the belly, stroking smoothly downwards and repeating. A common labour position is to lie on your side, so moms get on your left side and communicate with your husbands what feels good".

"Aah, alright Stabler I'm ready for ya", Olivia rested her head on her elbow and closed her eyes, smiling mischievously. Elliot chuckled to himself and swept her hair out of the way. As she felt the first gentle pressure of his practiced and calloused fingers Olivia wondered if she would ever be immune to his touch or the feel of his hands on her body.

Forgetting where she was for a moment Olivia submitted to the pleasure of Elliot's hands firmly working across her shoulders and back. She moaned slightly and arched as his hands reached the small of her back and pressed firmly into it, moving his fingers in deep circular motions feeling the muscles ease under his hands.

"There, see everybody? Look at Elliot and Olivia. Elliot knows exactly where her pressure points are and Olivia is communicating what feels good." "Wha?" Olivia opened her eyes and realized everyone in the class was staring at her. Blushing furiously she accepted a very satisfied Elliot's hand and got back into a normal sitting position, although really she wanted to sink through the floor.

"You're adorable when you're embarrassed, you know that?" Elliot murmured into her ear as the instructor started talking again. "Yeah, yeah" she muttered grumpily, but a hint of a smile played on her lips as she sat back on his arms and his hands instinctively went to her full belly, rubbing it absentmindedly as they listened to the rest of the lecture, cringing when instructor showed the birth video – which included a full and graphic view of a 3rd degree vaginal tear occurring at the woman on-screen birthed the shoulders.

Just as class was ending Elliot felt a different vibration under his fingertips which were still trailing lightly over her stomach. "You hungry again?"

"Yes" Olivia admitted groaning, "I'm going to be 300 pounds by the time this baby is born, do you actually know how much weight I've gained during this pregnancy?"

Elliot laughed at her indignation. "Well how about I make you come for every pound you've gained, to prove to you how sexy I still think you are". "Let's go get dinner then" she said suggestively, leading him by the hand to the door, trying to avoid the barrage of questions coming at her from the other group members.

"I think it qualifies as sexual assault to ask me if we're practicing perineal massage for the birth. I don't think I even knew what that was before today and I work in SVU not to mention I helped Kathy deliver Eli" Olivia mumbled through a mouth full of spicy black bean burritos they'd picked up on the way home.

This time Elliot had bought an extra one though, as well as his own so he might actually get the chance to eat some of it. And like it had been for the last 7 months Olivia was paying for it by the time she was getting ready for bed. She'd tried drinking a glass of milk, thinking it was the spice that had sent her indigestion into a tailspin but it had stuck in her throat, gagging her so she wasn't able to finish.

"I want my body back" she groaned as she sat down on the edge of the bed, easing her swollen feet out of her shoes and wriggling her toes.

"Okay scratch that, I want every part of my body back except my belly" she patted it fondly and lay down on her back as Elliot squeezed stretch mark oil out and warmed it between his hands, as had become their nightly ritual.

He used the smooth downward strokes they'd learned in class and then switched to the rhythmic circular rubbing Olivia seemed to respond so well to. Olivia's eyes narrowed in concentration for a moment and she pressed three fingers to the side of her belly then laughed in delight as she could see a responding movement under her skin.

Elliot laughed as well and did the same, until it felt like the three of them were playing tag across the expanse of her stomach. He resumed the massage until he felt the baby's movement quiet down and slow until he could tell he'd put his daughter to sleep in her mother's womb.

"Feeling any better?" he brushed aside a stray lock of hair from Olivia's face and leaned in for a kiss. She responded, drowsy with the pleasure the feel of his hands on her body and against her baby always seemed to bring.

"The doctor was right, you're a good man to have around Stabler" he grinned and gathered her into his arms, watching the lines on her face relax and smooth out as she drifted off to sleep.

Being careful not to wake her Elliot folded one arm under his head and brought her closer against him so her back was to his chest and he rested a hand on her engorged stomach, against his child and thinking that no dream he could ever have would be as good as what he was experiencing right now.

**Remember to COMMENT AND REVIEW! 3 TLH**


	22. Chapter 22: Waiting and Wanting

**Ok wow. I got the biggest flame yesterday from an anonymous reviewer, apparently I haven't even been to grade school and she begs me to stop writing. Because apparently a private school education for 13 years and graduating high school with honors and going into uni with an entrance scholarship for an ENGLISH MAJOR doesn't mean anything...I would be a lot more hurt though if the coward had had the courage not to hide behind her computer screen and leave a SIGNED review.**

** And also, honey if you're listening. If you're going to accuse me of being grammatically incorrect - you might want to spell GRAMMATICALLY correctly ( as in with 2 m's ).But haters gonna hate!**

** I'm just thankful I have all you other wonderful readers and reviewers who make me feel so privileged and blessed as a writer to have reading my works. Lots of love going out to you guys! **

**Sorry about the rant, I just always look forward to getting new review and this came as a bit of a nasty shock... **

**But please continue to comment and review! Your opinions are your own and I value each and every one of them :)**

She felt heavy and large and swollen and ungainly, she felt uncomfortable and restless; but mostly she just felt ready for this baby to come. She was so ready to hold her daughter in her arms.

At 9 months pregnant it was no wonder. There had been no more threats made against her, but there had also been no new directions or leads on the Marquis murders so it had been business as usual – if one could call it that – at SVU for the last two months.

"38 weeks. How are you feeling mama?" Elliot had woken up when he'd felt her stirring and he leaned over her, head propped up on one hand as the other caressed her swollen belly. Olivia flopped her head down on his chest, allowing herself a brief moment of self-pity.

"Sore and aching and stretched and irritable and SO ready for her to be here; I won't be able to fully rest or breathe until she's in my arms" she admitted.

Elliot clucked his tongue as he rested his chin on top of her head. "Poor Liv – I know you're ready, but she'll be here soon" "not soon enough" Olivia grumbled. "The doctor said 38 weeks was considered full term so – here I am! 38 and a half weeks! Full term and ready to pop".

"Well, try and enjoy your last few weeks of being pregnant and having our baby inside of you". As always, Elliot's comments soothed over her like a balm over her anxious nerves. "I will miss feeling her kick" she admitted running a hand over her swollen belly.

"Although not her trick of wedging her feet in my ribs" she added wryly. Elliot chuckled and kissed the top of her head as he got out of bed.

"You're only on a half shift today right?" she asked Elliot while he was in the shower. "Yup – 12 to 6" he called back over the sound of the rushing water.

Olivia's eyebrow quirked up and her eyes took on a new shine as she eyed herself in the mirror and a new idea popped into her head.

When Elliot stepped out of the shower she didn't let him reach for a towel but wrapped herself around him. "Elliot" she whispered huskily in his ear "Elliot; make love to me until this baby comes" she begged him.

The feel of her bare and soft, sleep warmed skin mingling with the remaining drops of water from the shower against his own body had him ready for the task even before she asked him.

But still he couldn't resist, "Oh so you just keep me around for my body?" he teased as his hands made their way slowly up the curve of her hips to settle on her expanded waistline. "Damn straight Stabler" she muttered back breathlessly as he sucked on her neck, his tongue leaving a glistening trail to the tip of her ear.

She shivered and he could feel her nipples turn to hard peaks against his chest as goosebumps shivered to life across her bare skin. He laughed and his hands moved to cup the heavy twin swells she thrust towards him in urgency.

The moment his thumbs brushed across them Olivia's knees weakened and she swayed against him. His hand moved lower, sliding over the bulge of their baby until it rested just outside the dark moist entrance to her body. She caught her lip between her teeth as she arched forward, trying to force his hand to where she wanted it.

He held her tightly, her back to his front with one hand supporting the weight of her belly as the fingers of his other hand slipped between her thighs that she opened wide in invitation. She gasped raggedly as he drew out the process of entry, one finger just touching the velvet depths before retracting back. She whimpered in need and in one solid smooth thrust he entered her with a second finger, feeling the tightened swollen nub of her femininity swell even further and pulse underneath his touch.

As he teased her, building her up to intense and quavering heights she felt her knees give out and she knew she was going to fall. "I can't" she breathed nearly choking in frustration "I can't Elliot". "Olivia, I will never let you fall" he growled into her ear, the feel of his hot breath against the sensitized ending of her skin enough to send shivers down her spine all over again.

Her body trembled beneath his and he knew he had her right where he wanted her. He stopped the back and forth and circular movements of his fingers and pressed just once firmly inside her. She cried out and stiffened, letting waves of pleasure and orgasm crash over her limp body as Elliot held her in his arms.

He scooped her up behind the knees and lay her down on the bed, propped up with pillows. "I just want to worship every inch of you" he assured her as her eyes became unglazed and she returned from the brink of climax. "I love you Elliot…now I want you in me. I need to feel you in me".

"Then we're gonna have to get a little creative here". They'd had sex throughout her pregnancy after 20 weeks every day almost without fail except on the periods of bed rest she was prescribed, but since the 8th month they'd had to improvise – sex during advanced pregnancy was another thing altogether. In one swift motion he'd moved under her so that she was on top, straddling him so she could control how deeply he came into her.

She rocked back and forth, bracing herself with her arms on his chest and her head thrown back as she was carried away by the motion. He could feel her tightening irregularly around him and he knew she was close. But the last few weeks of heavy pregnancy and carrying around the baby had taken their toll and he could feel her tiring even though she fought against it. She stopped moving and leaned against him – "I'm so tired".

He reached up and rubbed her back "did you want to stop? We can always try later Liv; it's okay". "No!" she ground out stubbornly. He shifted slightly and this time used a hand on her back to steady her as he thrust into her as she drove him into her.

That seemed to do the trick – he felt her climax for the third time and she rolled down off of him breathing heavily, eyes closed. She was covered in a light sheen of sweat he knew would cool in the air and chill her so he wrapped her in a blanket and gathered her to him, still managing to hold her close despite the great bulge between them.

He kissed her eyes shut, "try later" she mumbled sleepily. "Rest Liv, just rest for now- I'm here I've got you".

As she drifted off he shifted into the sleeping position they'd adopted around the time she was 7 months. They'd bought a pregnancy pillow that was recommended in the birthing class so she could sleep comfortably on her side with the pillow supporting the weight of her belly so it didn't pull her back.

But Olivia found she couldn't sleep without the arm comforting pressure of Elliot's body against hers and Elliot just didn't want to be replaced by a giant white pillow holding her instead of him.

So instead they lay back to front so Olivia could rest her head on Elliot's arm while he wedged that hand under her stomach for support and used his other arm to reach around her to rub her belly in that one repetitive pattern that seemed to always quiet the baby and put them both to sleep.

She was still asleep by the time Elliot had to head out for work at 11:30 so he stroked her face to wake her. "Liv, Olivia honey" "Don't wanna wake up" she moaned "tired".

Elliot chuckled but continued to gently shake her awake, "Olivia I have to go to work now, promise me you'll lock the door from the inside when I go okay?"

She blinked up at him and then nodded, her head sinking back into the pillow; "Kay I will" Elliot smiled and kissed her forehead before he pulled on his jacket and gloves. They were getting to the tail end of November and already the winds were biting and icy cold; snow had actually been predicted for the area up to 5 inches worth so he knew Olivia wasn't going to try and go out for a walk to bring on labour like she had for the past week when he'd been home with her.

He rolled his eyes smilingly as he went back over to the bed. "Liv the pizza's here" he said softly resting his hand on the curve of her stomach. "Did they remember the marinara sauce this time?" Olivia sat up with surprising speed before realizing she'd been tricked. "

Oh that is so not okay Stabler" she growled, "that was low". He chuckled again kissing her on the head and then on her pouting lips, "then it's a good thing I called in the order for it. Don't forget to lock the door" he called over his shoulder as he headed out.

Olivia watched him go with a rueful smile and slowly and painstakingly eased out of bed. She studied her profile in the mirror as she walked past it, pulling on some maternity clothes that still fit. Well mostly fit, she thought to herself, her belly stuck out from underneath the hem of the top by a good several inches but if nobody was going to be around then her plan was to go for comfort. Eurgh, she was huge.

She absentmindedly ran a hand over her stomach as she made her way to the couch. Halfway down the hallway she stopped and steadied herself holding onto the linen closet door. "Ooph" she grunted, "calm down in there kid" she pressed a fist into the small of her back trying to rub out the sharp pain that had seemed to throb suddenly above her tailbone.

She eased herself down onto the couch and stuffed a pillow underneath her belly for support while she flicked idly through the channels while she was waiting for the delivery guy. She'd almost nodded off again when she heard the buzzer sound, grimacing she waddled over to the sound system and pressed the button in. "Come on up" she grabbed her wallet off the counter and counted out the right change and a tip for coming out in stormy weather like this.

"Ooh" she bit her lip as her back spasmed again "It's okay baby food's here". She heard the knock and lifted one hand from her back to open the door. "Hi, sorry I haven't got the right change –"she started before she looked up.

Immediately she tried to slam the door shut but the man blocked it with his arm and forced his way in. "Olivia, so lovely to see you again. Nice day isn't it?" Carl Jorkins whispered in her ear, "I'd say it's just cold and icy enough for a frigid bitch like you. Let's go for a walk".

**Oh no, why Olivia? Why is it always Olivia? What's going to happen? It's less than 2 weeks away from her due date...**

**10 comments until you find out! 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 !**

**And just saying, Olivia and her baby aren't the only ones in danger...**


	23. Chapter 23: Barely Holding On

**Hey beautiful people! 10 comments until next upload! Your support is what keeps me going and what keeps me sane! (Okay well as sane as I'm ever going to be :) )**

**Lots of love ~TLHoll**

Olivia thought of her service gun she had in her bedside drawer and she tried to wrench herself away from him. But his hands gripped hard and unrelenting around her wrists. He slid a plastic restraint tie around her wrists and kicked her feet out from under her as she had done to him in the squad room 4 months ago. "Now be good bitch, you wouldn't want anything to happen to him would you?"

He led her over to the window and nodded at a white van idling by the curb just outside the reach of the security cameras. He pulled out a cell phone and slid a finger across the screen, the result was a live video feed from inside the van that showed Calvin tied and gagged inside the back of the van.

Olivia felt something cool and metal push aside the fabric of her shirt and she flinched as she felt the unmistakable barrel of a gun being pressed to her belly. "Now why don't we take a little trip" he snarled. "And if you scream, well then it's three for one isn't it?"

He forced her feet into a pair of shoes by the front door. But they were from before her pregnancy and her feet had swollen almost a whole size so when he forced them in, her ankle twisted and she cried out in pain.

"Shut up bitch" he pressed the gun against her back so hard she knew it would leave bruises and opened the front door again. "Now remember, we walk out of here like nothing's the matter and maybe we'll let the kid go".

Olivia's mind suddenly clicked. Carl didn't know she and Cal knew each other, how could he? Calvin had been gone over a year and the records that showed her temporary legal guardianship of Calvin weren't available to the public.

Caught up in her thoughts Olivia lost her footing on the stairs and stumbled, but her hands were still bound so she couldn't reach out to brace her fall and she tumbled down the stairs. She tried to turn so she landed on her back, but the stairwell was too narrow and so she landed hard on the landing, her belly catching the last two steps before she had time to try and wrench herself away.

Another couple was coming up the stairs and hurried over to Olivia as she yelled out "help!" before landing in a crumpled heap below. But before they could reach her and see that her hands were bound Carl was at her side.

"Let me call 911 for you" the woman offered as Carl hefted her up, holding her to his side so she could feel the hard bulge of his gun. "Thanks but that's alright we have a cab waiting, we're off to the hospital" Carl waved them off "isn't that right darling?"

The pain in Olivia's eyes was too real to be faked so the couple just assumed she was in labour so they shrugged and continued up the stairs.

Olivia watched them go before Carl forced her on, watching her last hope of rescue disappear with them. She stifled a moan of pain as she stepped onto the ankle Carl had twisted. He opened the back of the van and she saw Calvin's eyes widen in recognition but she shook her head slightly, hoping he would get the message not to show that they knew each other.

But she didn't have to worry about that for long – in one fell movement he threw her in the back of the van and she hit her head against the wheel hub. She was vaguely aware of a wet warm stickiness running down her face before she lost consciousness.

She woke briefly on the ride over, whimpering as she came to, to the throbbing of her head and ankle before she slipped back into the darkness.

Calvin had placed her head in his lap though on the floor and he kept a protective hand on her shoulder even though tears flowed thick and fast through his own red-rimmed eyes.

Carl yanked open the back door to the van after he'd pulled around to the back of an old dilapidated brownstone in a barren looking neighborhood. He slapped Olivia to wake her up and grabbed her roughly.

She barely registered the peeling yellow vinyl floors or the rotting stair boards as they went further into the house's basement. Another door near to a bunch of furnace pipes proved to be where Carl was headed.

He forced her down another set of steps into the floor to their final destination. One barred window was all the access to light she had other than a single flickering bulb in the middle of the ceiling. The glass had long been shattered so the room was freezing as gusts of icy November air blew in.

It was only then in her haze of pain did she notice the rusty set of handcuffs attached to the walls of the cement prison. Gathering her strength Olivia tried to run back up the stairs but Carl caught her by the back of the hair and dragged her down to the floor, cuffing her to the wall so she was forced to kneel on the cold hard cement before he picked up an errant metal rod lying haphazardly on the floor.

The dried patches of blood on it confirmed her suspicions of what he was planning on doing with it. "Please" she whispered hoarsely, "please Carl, just let me go. You can be out of town by the time anyone would figure out what happened".

He smirked evilly and sauntered over closer to her, "oh that's what I plan on doing sweetheart. I plan on leaving, but I also plan on leaving you here. I have to confess it's very satisfying to see you here, on your knees, begging for me".

"I'm not begging for you you bastard" she hissed, straining against her cuffs. "You'd never have a shot in hell with any woman who doesn't charge for the displeasure of doing you".

His eyes glinted, and for the first time Olivia could see the feral rage hidden in their depths. She'd seen what this man was capable of, he was capable of anything.

First he walked over to the barred window and started clanking the iron pipe along the bars menacingly. He couldn't have known what memories that sound would provoke but they chilled Olivia more than any other threat.

Her mind flashed back to almost 4 years ago when she'd been undercover at Sealview, and the guard had chased her down in the bowels of the prison and tried to rape her, clanking his baton in the same way Carl was doing now.

But suddenly the noise stopped, and for a split second she couldn't figure out why until he brought the iron pipe down hard against her back. The force of the impact jerked her forward, but being cuffed to the wall prevented her from falling and instead she could feel a muscle in her shoulder tear.

"Tell me you want me Olivia" he quirked an eyebrow at her silence and walked over to the door where she could hear Calvin in the adjoining room. "Or do you want me to ask him the same question. I prefer women Olivia, but I'm not picky".

The thought of Calvin being raped by this monster combined with the pain caused her to stomach to sour until she retched; but there was nothing in her to come up. "Now, now Olivia; that's not sexy..."

"Let him go; you have me Carl" she pleaded. "He's just some random kid. He doesn't even know who I am. Just let him go". Carl smiled, looking disgustingly satisfied. "See? It's not so hard to play nice for daddy".

"My daddy" she spat out the word "was a rapist, he must not have been able to get women any other way either, just like you". This time it was his foot that lashed out, and although she curved inward to soften the blow – his boot still made a dull thud as it connected with her belly.

As his foot moved away Carl said something, but Olivia didn't hear him. She was focused on something else happening in her body. When he'd kicked her Olivia had felt a kind of pressure and a pop inside of her and all other thoughts drained from her mind as amniotic fluid drained from her womb.

"No, oh no" she breathed, speaking mainly to herself "no not now, baby can't come now". Carl had finally stopped talking and was staring at her as her water broke, in a kind of revulsion and disgust. "Well now there's no way I'm getting anywhere up in that" he spat out, "but it looks like we'll have someone new to play with pretty soon".

Olivia squeezed her eyes shut and her shoulders shook with the force of her sobbing she was unable to contain. He disappeared from the room up the stairs and she heard shouting and another door slam before he came back down.

"Well now it's just us Olivia. No need for him anymore, I've got an even bigger source of leverage, one that looks like it will be coming imminently". He crouched down in front of her and put a hand to her belly. Olivia swallowed back the bile in her throat that rose at his touch.

"I can't wait to see how you beg for that bastard of his in your belly once it's born. And then you can watch as I decide just how we're going to play. I just can't decide which of my toys I'm going to use to put the little brat to sleep, like a dog, like I will his bitch of a mother once she's begged on her knees for my mercy".

He unclamped her arms from the wall and she fell forward onto the floor, her arms weak from holding her up in the chains. "But if we're going to have another guest, I'll need more supplies. You can thank me later for how generous I am for letting you spend those first few precious moments with your child…before I slaughter it and its whoring mother".

He locked the door behind him as he left, and after a few minutes Olivia heard a car start to life in the distance. She rolled onto her side, cradling her belly as her arms were still too shaky and weak for her to lift herself up off the floor. Her mind roiled as she tried to straighten out the facts in her head.

Calvin had been let go, and was wandering the streets of some New York slum – she could only hope there was a gas station or convenience store nearby so he could call Elliot and 911.

She was trapped in a basement with no water or blankets to deliver her baby and she had gone into labour and her baby was coming; now. The tiny 6 by 6 inch barred window held no hopes of her escaping and she knew it looked out into the backyard where her screams would go unheard in the gathering storm outside.

Carl was gone now but it would only be a short time until he was back, until he'd decided which of his torture instruments to use on her.

After a while she sat up, trying to gauge how long or hard or fast her labour was going to be. She realized now that the twinges and back spasms she'd been feeling all day were actually early labour.

All of a sudden she felt as though her body were on fire as her belly turned rock-hard with a powerful first contraction. She panted shallowly as it passed, her arms wrapped tightly around herself as it to keep herself from shattering into a million pieces. A gust of freezing air chilled the faint sheen of sweat that had broken out on her forehead with the first of the pains and she shivered miserably.

"Oh sweet baby please don't come yet. Mommy needs to keep you safe, don't come yet" she breathed as her baby moved restlessly inside her now drained and dry womb.

**So review away to see what happens! Will Elliot find her in time? :)**


	24. Chapter 24: Running Out

**Thanks for all the great reviews guys! Keep it up!**

**P.s. I still can't get over the fact that Christopher Meloni will not be returning to SVU for season 13. What the hell happened? Ugh - what do you guys think? I'll still watch of course but...I don't know. I think NBC is going to realize they made a huge mistake in not agreeing to whatever terms of contract Meloni asked fore. EO foreverr 3**

Elliot glanced up the clock in the squad room, the sky was giving off an eerie yellow cast from the coming storm and the wind whipped against the windows, howling its fury at being locked out.

It was only 3 o'clock but he felt this pull to go home to Olivia. She hadn't been sleeping well and the baby could come any day now and he knew how tired she was. He knew she'd probably be annoyed, calling him a mother hen for worrying needlessly but his mind was made up.

"Cap, the weather's getting pretty bad. I want to get home to Olivia – she wasn't doing so well last night". Cragen looked up in concern and nodded. "Go ahead, we're not getting any more interviews in today, weather's too bad. Give her our love".

"Will do" Elliot called back as he headed towards the doors. Walking towards his car he looked up at the sky, tiny pellets of hail had started to come down along with an icy sheeting rain that he knew was only going to get heavier. The roads would no doubt be slick so it would probably take him close to an extra hour to get home in this traffic.

He tried calling her from the car but there was no answer so he figured she must be asleep. But when he tried again 20 minutes later his stomach knotted. It wasn't like Olivia not to answer when he called even if she was asleep.

He pressed the gas a little harder, urging traffic forward which had come to almost a complete stop due to the slick streets. The wind had picked up even more as he raced up the flights of stairs.

He told himself his worry was needless, he'd probably burst in the door breathless to find Olivia rummaging idly around in the fridge. But the thought didn't slow him down any.

Before he'd even reached for his key he noticed the door was slightly ajar. He swung it open to an empty apartment. "Liv, Olivia? Honey are you here?" he ran to every room. He dialed his cell phone and while he was waiting for the pick-up he noticed her coat was still on the rack and her wallet was strewn open on the floor.

Finally the person on the other line picked up. "Captain, it's Olivia. She's gone, she's been taken. She wouldn't have gone out in this and the door was open. Can you get forensics out here and hell, get every uniform available on the street?"

Elliot tried to look for clues while he waited. There was no empty pizza box out on the table or in recycling so she must have been taken before it had been delivered so that made it between 12 and 1 that the perp had gotten in. He noticed the answering machine flashing so he went over to see '1 missed call' flashing and he pressed it to hear the message.

Vivian Arliss' panicked voice filled the empty apartment. "Olivia? Elliot? Hello is someone there? Calvin said he was going over to your place and that he'd call when he got over there but I haven't heard from him and it's already 1:30. Please call me back when you get this. If he's come home before I'll call again to let you know. I'll try you at the office next, bye".

Elliot's mind raced feverishly as he processed everything. The perp might have gotten Calvin too – the timing would have worked out, and although the perp never took a second victim at once he also couldn't leave a witness. It was Carl Jorkin, he knew without a doubt. He paced, feeling trapped, powerless, edgy.

Ignoring Cragen's instructions to stay at the apartment he started canvassing the floors. No one had seen or heard anything out of the ordinary, and the others still weren't home from work. One young couple however gave him the impetus he needed to start his search.

"Yeah, a man – maybe in his thirties, sandy hair was with a dark haired pregnant woman" the man offered. "Really pregnant" his girlfriend added, coming to stand beside him.

"She'd fallen down the stairs onto the first landing and he was helping her up. We offered to call 911 but he said they were already on their way to the hospital so I guess she might have been in labour or going to a doctor's appointment. But they left after that and we just came home. Sorry that's all we saw".

Elliot thanked them hurriedly and started to dial Fin and Munch to give them a heads up. But before he could finish punching in the number his phone rang. "Stabler" he said tersely into it.

"Elliot, it's Fin. Look we got a call from Calvin. He's saying that he was coming over to your place when a light haired man grabbed him and threw him in the back of a van. The next time Calvin saw him he threw Olivia into the car as well and drove them about 20 minutes away. The perp let him go but didn't say why once they'd gotten to the house.

We traced the call from a bodega on the east side nearing the Bronx and we sent a uni to pick him up. It sounds like Carl Jorkins got her El. Kid's fine just shaken up, listen did you want to head over there and see if he can find the place again?"

"I'm already on my way" he assured Fin as he got back behind the wheel, screeching out of the parking garage and heading towards the address Fin had texted him. "Did he say anything about Olivia?" Elliot demanded, flipping on the siren in the corner of his window to clear traffic. Fin was quiet for a moment and Elliot could hear him saying something to Munch in the seat next to him.

"Kid was crying pretty hard but he said something like he was put in a room in the basement but Olivia was taken down another set of steps hidden in the floor behind the furnace. And when Carl opened the door to come back up and let him go he could hear crying, and then screaming and pleading when the door closed again.

Elliot swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to ignore the burning in his eyes. "Why would he let the kid go? That was leverage for Olivia. Why let him go when he knew Calvin would run to the cops?" There was another long silence on the phone but this time it was Elliot who broke the silence again. "Unless he knew that Calvin wouldn't have enough time before it…before he was…" he couldn't make himself speak the words. "She's 9 months pregnant Fin what is he doing to her?"

"I don't know Elliot but we're going to find her. But listen, traffic is nuts over here. It's going to be at least another 2 hours before we get to the 24 hr. Calvin called from. And the uni took him to a hospital for a suspected arm fracture and a nasty head wound. The idiot let him go in for surgery to pin his arm before he had a chance to ask Calvin where he'd come from. His excuse was that its standard op procedure". "This is Olivia we're talking about Fin, nothing about this is standard" Elliot growled hitting the steering wheel and cursing.

"I know" Munch said grimly, taking over the phone while Fin concentrated on driving through the rain that had started while they were talking. "Calvin's going to be out of it for approximately the next 3 hours according to the surgeon, and even then the morphine will make him loopy and incoherent.

"What are we going to do? We can't knock on every door in the Bronx and by that time…" he didn't have to continue. He heard another phone vibrate and looked to see a new message flashing on his screen from Cragen reading:

"Before C went into emerg. said he heard J talking to a woman on the phone on the ride over. Thinking Hayes might b involved."

Elliot snapped his phone shut and turned his car around, narrowly missing a green sedan as he swerved into the next lane that would take him to where Rita Hayes was being held and awaiting trial. He yanked the keys out of the ignition, leaving the car in front of the imposing cement building.

The prison warden took one look at his badge and the expression on his face and buzzed him in immediately. He didn't wait for Hayes to be brought in to the interrogation room but went straight to her cell block.

The sallow greasy haired woman who stared back at him looked nothing like the made-up although extremely tacky woman who'd threatened Olivia in the squad room months ago. "Tell me where he has her" Elliot growled through the bars. "Has who?" Rita's lips twitched up into a smile and she turned her head away smirking.

"Listen to me Rita. I can promise you will never see the light of day, or another can of hairspray or another child as long as you live if something happens to Detective Benson". "Can't prove anything" she sneered at him. "Told her she wasn't fit to be a mother; now if I don't get be one she doesn't either". "Tell me where she is Rita".

"What's in it for me?"

"You don't get a needle in your arm for aiding and assisting in the murder of an officer and our unborn child" he growled. She'd gotten cocky enough to saunter forward towards the bars and in a split second Elliot had grabbed her shirt collar and pulled her to the bars so that when he spoke she could feel his breath on her face and see the truth of his threat in his eyes – and for the first time she looked nervous.

"Carl" she cleared her throat, "Carl has her, said he'd give me the baby if I helped him. So I helped pay his bail and he's supposed to call me when he has the baby".

"Tell me where she is Rita, we're running out of time. She has complications she needs to be in the hospital. The baby might have complications that might need medical attention. Now you may hate Olivia Benson but you sure as hell don't want a baby's murder on your hands AGAIN now do you?" Rita seemed to shrink in front of his eyes, her face aging a good twenty years as she admitted defeat.

She named an address in the east Bronx and Elliot left without another word, leaving the woman sobbing on her jail cell floor.

Heading again for the Bronx he ground his teeth impatiently. Despite using the siren on his car, traffic had come to a standstill because of the freezing rainstorm that had taken over Manhattan and ground the city to a halt.

He called Cragen, Munch and Fin to update them and let them know the address where the other uni's would meet up with him. "Elliot, we have no bodies. Every officer is out directing traffic or at accident sites, half the lights in the west side of the city are out and it's closing nightfall. We can't even get an ambulance out there until what's been quoted as 'tomorrow morning – if we're lucky'"

Elliot couldn't believe what he was hearing, but he didn't have the chance to respond before traffic started moving again and he weaved between honking cars until he came to a complete stop again as the icy weather gridlocked the cars into impregnable masses of traffic.

Olivia's fingers unclenched as she slowly came around from the next contraction. Her fingernails were ragged and bloody from clutching at the ground and dragging herself over to sit against the wall. As she shifted slightly she gave a sharp intake of breath.

As she'd moved she'd felt a warm wetness seep from her and she looked down, still breathing heavily to see the spreading crimson on her pants. "No, no, no no" she moaned, watching as the blood spread further out from her.

It had been over 6 hours since she'd been taken from the apartment. She knew she was dehydrated and the cut on her head might need stitches, but more than that she didn't even know how close this baby was to coming. And what she was going to do if it did.

The wind gusted in from the slight window sending shivers down her sweat soaked spine. The pains were coming every 10 to 15 minutes now, and with each of them, more of her and her baby's lifeblood was spilled onto the floor.

She'd learned how to deliver a baby in cop training, and she'd helped in delivering Eli, but it was different when it was your own. She couldn't even reach over her stomach to check how dilated she was.

If she'd actually been in labour for more like 10 hours there was the possibility she was even now fully dilated although she hadn't felt the urge to push. That was good, the longer she was able to keep her baby shielded in her body the better.

All she had to wrap the infant in was her sweater, which was all she was wearing over her bra and tank top. It was maybe only a few degrees above freezing outside and Olivia was already feeling the numbing effects of the cold. If the baby was born now, it wouldn't be able to survive the cold even if she was able to press it against her body and wrap it in her sweatshirt.

No, she had to try to at least give her baby the meager amount of protection she offered in her belly, although now her water had broken she only had at best another 20 hours before emergency action would have to be taken. And she could only imagine how happy Carl would be to provide that for her, by using one of his sick tools to flay her open and rip out the baby.

Her stomach seized again and she curled around the contraction, panting to try and keep from blacking out from the pain. From the way her vision blurred around the corners and the faint buzzing in her ears Olivia could tell her blood pressure was dangerously high – which meant her baby was suffering too.

Unable to hold back her cries, Olivia tried to breathe and she propped herself back up against the wall, legs frogged apart and ran her hands shakily down her belly in even movements. "It's okay little one" she whispered, her voice cracking. "Mama won't let anything happen to you, I promise. Not while I still have a measure of life in me. You're okay, we're okay" she repeated in a prayer like mantra.

The next contraction struck hard and fast, the pain and tightening sensation radiating around from the front of her abdomen to her back. "Oh great" she thought "and back labour on top of this". More than anything she wanted to be giving birth in a hospital, with Elliot at her side coaching her and loving her and rubbing her back when it hurt. But she hadn't the time for the luxury of daydreaming and she cramped again, fire zigzagging down her spine, feeling as though she would split open from the pressure.

She was completely alone – she had spent all of her life being alone, and now when she thought she had maybe found happiness, found a family it was all being ripped away from her along with her baby from her womb, she was so alone; as it seemed her lot in life to be. And if she thought her heart couldn't break any more than in that moment she was wrong, the last shred of her soul disappeared with the sound of heavy footsteps above her that told her she was safer alone.

**Remember - 10 reviews before I update! Lots of love! TLH**


	25. Chapter 25: Giving Everything

**This is it! Well, okay - this is partly it... You get the labour but you don't quite get the birth - That's the next chapter! **

**So 10 comments until you see how Liv and the baby fare after the dangerous homebirth :)**

Cragen's voice crackled through Elliot's phone. "Elliot – when you get her, there are no routes open to the hospital. It's going to take you hours to get through this even with a police escort and clearance. The storm's just too bad and there have been accidents on almost every major road coming back into the city. Just keep that in mind".

Elliot cursed and tried to rev the engine, encouraging the traffic in front of him to move. Slowly, ever so slowly it shifted until Elliot was able to get through to the next block where Olivia was being held.

Carl edged towards her, the sun had mostly set now, and it was just the dim fluorescent bulb and the eerie yellow of the sky that illuminated the cell Olivia was being held captive in. He lifted the knife to the light, his eyes caressing the surface like a lovers – turning it so that he and Olivia could better see the glint of the blade along its steely length.

"You know I never got to finish on Ms. George" he mused, glancing idly at Olivia out of the corner of his eye. "I must confess, the – physical differences you're offering up to me evoke in me a certain urge for experimentation" his head dipped towards her swollen waist. "I think I'll take my time, maybe let you hear your baby cry before I let you bleed out".

Olivia said nothing but glared at him as sweat dripped off her face despite the cold. In the last hour she'd begun to feel feverish and even more shaky.

"No thank you? Tsk Tsk Olivia I expected you to be a little more grateful for my consideration, not many men would be willing to have you, you know".

"I don't see any men here right now" she forced out, her breathing still ragged and harsh from dealing with the intensifying contractions.

She had barely gotten that sentence out when another contraction rocked through her core. She squeezed her eyes, unable to muffle the groan of pain that was wrenched from her lips.

When she was finally able to un-tense a little she opened her eyes to see Carl still standing over her but with a different expression.

"You know – I'm enjoying this" he nodded. "I think I'll let you finish – all this seems very painful doesn't it" he drew out the word painful like a caress and Olivia nearly threw up again when she saw he was aroused by her pain and her suffering.

She didn't want to give him what he wanted, and she tried everything in her power to hold back the sounds and whimpers of pain but whenever she opened her eyes he was still there, his eyes half closed in pleasure, getting off on watching her suffer.

So deep was he in sick concentration that for a moment, Carl didn't register the footsteps he heard from the ceiling above him. Before he had time to react, the steel door flew open and Elliot pinned the man to the ground, holding his gun on him.

"You disgusting piece of garbage, you're not even worth my time and efforts. But here's a parting gift for hurting the woman I love" Elliot crashed Carl's face into the cement wall and let him slump to the floor before cuffing him to the wall where his head lolled in unconsciousness, dangling between his arms.

"Liv, Oh God, Olivia baby speak to me". Once Elliot had finished restraining Carl he dropped to his knees in front of her, gently gathering her in his arms feeling for broken bones.

"El" she croaked out, putting a limp hand against his chest, "El, she's coming".

"Who baby? Who's coming" Elliot questioned, his brow furrowed. It was only then that he registered the pool of blood and fluid soaking into the cement floor around Olivia.

"The baby – its coming. My water broke a-ages" ago. Her teeth had started chattering uncontrollably from the cold and from shock so Elliot shrugged out of his coat and draped it around her shoulders and she held it closed at the neck with one hand while the other stayed on her stomach.

The moment he picked her up her body seized with another contraction. "Liv, did I hurt you?"

She shook her head breathlessly, adding when it passed "contraction".

"My poor baby, I'm so sorry" he started, walking back up the stairs and out to the car.

"He - he kicked me Elliot and I fell – what if the baby, what if something's happened to her? I haven't felt her move for hours" she sobbed out on the last sentence. Elliot lay her in the backseat as gently as he could, trying to wrap his coat more tightly around her and stripping off his sweatshirt to put under her head.

"What's the update on the roads?" Elliot yelled into his cell phone which he'd put on the passenger seat so he could drive.

"All entrances into the city are at a standstill – backroads are your only option right now. Every emerg. in the city is at 100% capacity – the governor ordered the homeless off the streets because it's going below zero and people are leaving their cars to find shelter, they're afraid of a riot. We're still only a couple blocks away from the station house" came Fin's response.

Elliot cursed silently and looked back at Olivia. Her eyes were closed and he could see the outline of tear tracks on her cheeks which had gone a sickly grey colour – a stark contrast to the bright red blood of the various cuts and contusions Carl had inflicted on her.

"When you get to the address I texted you go straight down into the boiler room where the furnace is – behind it there's another set of stairs. Jorkins is restrained down there"

"Got it El" Fin's voice came over the line, "How's Liv holding up?"

"She's in labour".

The line was silent for a moment, "What are you going to do? Can't get anyway near the hospitals right now"

"I'm taking her home, even if we did try to make it to the hospital – by the time we get there, if we get there she could have had the baby. No…I need to try and get her home and see if I either stop the labour or deliver the baby. We're already getting the first ambulance out tomorrow morning".

As Elliot battled through the icy back streets to Olivia's apartment Fin asked "can I talk to her?"

Elliot reached back and placed the phone next to Olivia's head on his sweater "you're on speaker Fin alright?"

His attention turned back to the wheel, Fin started talking to Olivia. "Hey babygirl" he crooned soothingly "how are you doing?" "I'm scared Fin – I don't wanna lose her" she croaked, her throat raw from screaming.

"She's going to be fine – you're both going to fine okay? Don't worry about it baby".

Now Cragen's voice filled the backseat "Hey Liv",

"I can't feel her anymore Captain – I don't know if she's okay" she sobbed out, unable to hold back as the older man's comforting voice came over the line. "You're going to do great Liv, you're a fighter – always have been. And your daughter's going to be a fighter too I know it, look at what you've gotten through before now. I'm so proud of you Olivia". Donald Cragen's voice crackled out as the phone cut out.

"Power lines are down" Elliot called out in explanation from the driver's seat where he could hear the radio. She cried out at that moment and Elliot reached back and grabbed her hand and she squeezed it. "That's it honey remember? Blow out the pain" as the contraction began to wane again he kissed her hand and let go so he could turn the car into the garage of her building.

He picked her up, jacket, sheets and all and carried her upstairs. Forensics hadn't managed to get there in the storm so they were alone in the apartment. The first thing he did was lay her down on the sofa while he made up the bed and grabbed the emergency first aid.

When he came back she was still shivering. "I c-can't stop"

"We'll get you warm in a minute Liv I promise – but I need to check to see how dilated you are. She shook her head from side to side in a firm no, her eyes still squeezed firmly shut against the pain. Elliot kissed the corner of her eye and then took her lips gently and she whispered "okay" and struggled into a better position.

As Elliot knelt beside the couch and removed her pants Olivia bit her lip until she tasted blood, trying not to cry out. But as she felt Elliot's hands gently separate her lips, a whimper of fear and pain escaped. "I'm sorry Liv, I'm so sorry this is happening" he whispered.

He used an old sheet he'd found in the cupboard to wipe away some of the blood on her legs so he could see. Liv steeled herself against the discomfort of his fingers and instead focused on breathing and the image of opening for her baby.

Elliot withdrew his hand and wiped it again before speaking. Still holding her knees apart he stroked her thigh with one finger as he brought her attention back to him. "Okay Olivia you're at 7 centimeters – which means only 3 more until you can start pushing okay? The baby just needs to drop a little further".

He could tell she felt miserable as he set her down in the bedroom. She was dirty and sweaty and soaked to the skin shivering with cold – the kind of bone deep chill no amount of blankets could take away. "I'll be right back", he went into the bathroom and turned on the faucet, filling the bathtub with hot water – it was close enough to the birth that it wouldn't matter anymore.

She didn't complain as he lifted yet again to carry her the 4 steps into the adjoining bathroom and set her down in the bathtub. He started to rise again but Olivia clung to him with surprising strength. "Please don't go" she whispered, keeping his hand in a tight grasp, "please just hold me?" Liquid brown eyes bored into his soul so he could refuse her nothing, so he stripped and climbed in the bath with her, settling behind her so she leaned against him.

He took a washcloth from the vanity and dipped it into the water before taking it out again. Behind closed eyes Olivia registered a rough warmth beginning to filter through her veins, and she opened her eyes to see Elliot washing away the trauma of her kidnapping and assault with the facecloth. Elliot winced as he rubbed the facecloth gently against her skin, washing away the sweat and dirt and blood and with it, hopefully the memories they evoked.

He ran the cloth lightly down her belly and she tensed up just as another contraction started and held his hand there. He could feel the hard muscles of her stomach contract beneath his hand, and with Olivia breathing shallowly in his ear he moved his hand in familiar massage.

She moaned and let her head fall back on his "that feels so good" she breathed out as Elliot's hands covered the place where they baby lay.

As the contraction ebbed away, one hand slid to her back – pressing deeply on the muscles there and Olivia felt her limbs go weak and lax with the penetrating movement. After another half hour Elliot helped her to stand up, and turned on the showerhead, concentrating the flow of water over her abdomen and back where the muscles screamed for release.

He had checked her again in the bath just before they got out and she was still stuck at 7 cm. He knew the longer she labored, the weaker she would be by the time it came to push. And with no medical attention other than his own, that could be deadly.

He helped her slide on one of his large flannel pajama top to keep her warm and thick wool socks as well. Olivia walked around the apartment, trying to get the baby down further – clinging to chairs or furniture or Elliot when a contraction hit, whatever was closer.

She hummed in a low tone as she felt another birth pain starting. Crouching down on her haunches, she hung around Elliot's neck and rocked from side to side, heel to heel; willing her baby drop further so that her cervix would stretch to 10 cm.

Finally she was exhausted and Elliot insisted she rest for a little while before trying again. "Liv, you're making yourself sick and tiring yourself out. Just lie down for a few contractions".

She eased herself back into bed while Elliot went to make another pot of tea. She'd already drunk the entire contents of the first one he'd made within an hour of him making it. The hot liquid seeped through her veins and seemed to give her strength and reassurance. But 6 cups of tea meant extra trips to the bathroom, and she edged carefully out of bed to pad over to the bathroom as her baby was pressing on her bladder.

She'd finished but was still sitting and just starting to get up when she felt it. A different kind of subtle shift in her stomach and all of a sudden, the pressure on her tailbone and pelvis was unbearable.

"Elliot!" she called out, hanging onto the wall for support. "Elliot get in here now!"

Elliot came and she looked up at him with unsure eyes, her gaze going from the enormous mound of her belly to his eyes. "I think it's time to push" she whispered as he settled her back into bed where she leaned semi-reclined on a bunch of pillows Elliot had propped behind her.

Elliot washed his hands and probed a careful finger insider her. "It feels like 10 centimeters Liv. We're going to have a baby soon. Do you feel the urge to push yet?"

Olivia thought for a moment, "No the pressure is mostly in my back" she explained.

"Roll over onto all fours" Elliot commanded and she did. Kneeling beside her again he started to knead deeply into the small of her beck. She moaned in relief and arched before stopping suddenly.

One hand flew to her belly and an odd expression came onto her face "I feel like I'm pushing" she said in a panicked tone ad Elliot checked things out.

Olivia could see the bulge of her belly sink down a little every time her body had a contraction, and now she pushed with them. But soon her arms became too weak to hold her up in that position and she lay back down, propped up by cushions.

"Eurgh!" she grunted and held her breath as she bore down, but the pillows behind her just sunk down as she pressed against them and she had no momentum or impetus for her efforts. Elliot moved from where he was in front, to sitting behind her. The feel of his hard warmth at the small of her back and cupping her melted away old fears and vanities; she let out a short sharp breath of relief as Elliot's hands worked her belly during a contraction. And even when it was over she kept his hands there, cradling her belly – his thumbs smoothing the sides of her tummy as if in reassurance that everything was going to be okay.

She grabbed both of his hands with her own with the next contraction. They were coming on top of one another now, one right after the other with no time for rest.

"Elliot…Elliot if something happens to me promise me you'll take care of our baby" she pleaded with him during a short respite.

"Nothing is going to happen to you Olivia, nothing. You are going to give birth to a beautiful healthy baby girl and be there to see her grow up while you grow old with me. It's my baby in your belly and it will damn well be my ring on your finger".

"Ohhh I wanna push again" she moaned and Elliot kissed her, gently in the cleft behind her ear and nuzzled her neck with his nose whispering:

"Go ahead honey, push come on push Liv. Get our baby out. Good now rest until the next one comes" Olivia shook her head, eyes closed and breathing hard.

"No, no I need to push. I need to get her out". She tried to push constantly, but she was weak from blood loss and shock so sometimes her pushes could only last a few seconds.

Suddenly she sat up slightly, her legs splayed open and she reached a hand down. "Elliot" she breathed in wonder "Elliot I feel her. She's right there El she's so close!" Elliot moved from behind Olivia and came to the foot of the bed so he could help her deliver.

As Olivia pushed again he saw the beginnings of a dime sized patch of hair show through. "I see her hair Liv" he looked up smiling and crying – terrified and elated in the same moment. She reached her hand down again and Elliot guided it to the place where their baby would soon emerge from deep within her body.

She stroked a finger across the tiny patch of downy hair visible. "My baby" she whispered awestruck.

Keeping her hand close to her child Olivia gathered her strength and forced her next push. As more of the baby's head emerged she felt an incredible urge and need to bear down hard, to grunt and push her baby out now.

Elliot felt her need, heard it in her cries and brought her face to look at his. "Slow Liv, you need to go slow for this part. The baby's almost here but you need to give yourself time to stretch for the head or else you'll tear".

"I can't stop myself!" she cried out in alarm as she felt the loss of control in her body.

"Olivia look at me, that's it honey just look at me. Now breathe…slow, in, filling yourself with oxygen and strength and then blow your baby out, don't push" he commanded, remembering their childbirth lessons. Olivia blew short staccato breaths as she fought with her body.

The need to push was unbearable and her knees started to shake as the widest part of the head came through her. She grunted and moaned, her cries taking on a higher and higher pitch as the baby crowned.

"Good job Liv, you're doing so good honey" Elliot cheered her on as moved his hands between her legs to get ready to catch the baby. He slid one finger alongside the head to make sure the cord wasn't wrapped around the neck – circling to help her body stretch for the baby.

Olivia grabbed her legs behind the knees and held them up again. "Blow your baby out Olivia" she told herself, "deep slow breaths and then release".

Elliot watched as the muscles in her face and belly showed the struggle she was having to birth their baby.

"Olivia – honey the baby is face up" he called out suddenly, a measure of fear running through his voice. Olivia let her legs fall to either side.

"What? What does that mean?" she demanded terrified.

"It's probably why you've been in labour for so long, it takes longer and harder for a baby to be born face up instead of face down".

Olivia nodded unable to speak and began to bear down again until she felt as though she was splitting in two.

She felt a sharp pain and then a further pressure and she heard Elliot's voice.

"The head is out Liv – she's almost here!" Elliot looked up at her and was blown away. She fell back on the pillows panting and Elliot reached over to her. "You're breathtaking" he breathed, and Olivia turned her head away but he using his thumb and forefinger to bring it back

"Really Olivia. You are beautiful. The woman I love is giving birth to my child, what could be a more life giving or sensual experience? I'm so proud of you".

Despite closed eyes she kissed him back with a passion, "I wanna see her" she mumbled and Elliot picked up a hand mirror from the side table and gave it to her so she could see her body giving birth to their child.

"Oh look at her hair" Olivia breathed tearfully "she's beautiful".

"Every bit as beautiful as her mother" Elliot kissed her forehead, smoothing away her hair "Now come on Liv, let's get this baby born okay?"

Olivia nodded dumbly as she rose again onto her elbows and screamed into the next push as the contraction came:

"Grrrrrrrrnnnnnnngggghhhhhh".

**Will Liv have enough strength to give birth to her daughter? Will everything be okay? How long will it take an ambulance to get through the storm to get them to a hospital?**

**Review and find out! Send me some love and EO fuzzies 3 God, I love this couple 3**


	26. Chapter 26: Relief

**Guuuuuuys! This is the last chapter! Oh my goodness how time flies! Anyway, here you go! Record comments going on so keep it up! **

**P.s. I know some of you commented on the graphicness of the birth scene - but SVU doesn't shy away from the real stuff and the hard stuff. And to anyone who has given birth, it's not something to be glossed over lightly - it's something that should be celebrated and recognized! After all, writers make you FEEL, and not all feeling are pleasant :)**

** It might also be due to the fact that before I decided I wanted to go into teaching I had my courses all planned for becoming an OB/GYN. But I digress...**

**Anyways, you know the rule! 10 comments! Let me know what you think, LOVE hearing from you guys!**

Elliot helped hold her legs back and she could feel her hips shift and could feel her body opening as she gave birth. "I can't, I can't" she moaned, flopping back on the pillows and gasping for air as she tried to catch her breath.

"You have to Olivia she's almost here, you know I would take the pain away for you if I could but you're doing so good Liv, so good – just a couple more pushes honey and she'll be here".

Tears streamed down Olivia's face as she gathered her strength for another contraction, and when it came her face turned red and scrunched up with the effort until she fell back again, legs shaking.

"Open for the shoulders Liv that's it, that's it, you're doing it" Elliot guided the shoulders out and cleared the baby's nose and mouth with the tiny syringe from the medical kit.

Olivia felt the baby empty from her womb and used the last of her energy to bear down hard and expel her baby girl into her daddy's waiting arms.

Elliot wiped her off gently, stroking her cheek as tears ran down his own face. "Come on sweetheart" he encouraged as Olivia watched and waited in fear. The baby gave a small gurgling cough before breaking into a wail of displeasure.

Olivia and Elliot cried along with their baby, who thank God was healthy and perfect. Once she'd started crying he'd placed the baby on Olivia's stomach so she could hold her daughter and she gathered the precious flailing bundle into her arms.

"Oh baby, oh sweet girl, it's okay, it's okay, I know honey, mommy knows, oh sweet baby I'm so happy you're here". Olivia reached for a soft pink receiving blanket and wrapped her tiny daughter in it, examining every part of her, counting every finger and toe.

As Elliot cleaned up she watched on in amazement as the baby opened its eyes and big dark blue eyes blinked up at her framed by long dark wet lashes.

She rocked back and forth gently, to soothe herself or her baby she didn't know. A terrifying kind of feeling rose up in her and she gave into it, gave into all she knew it to mean.

She loved this tiny baby more fiercely than she'd ever thought possible. And in loving her daughter and releasing herself to the possibility of the pain of emotions again she knew with equally resounding feeling that she loved Elliot as deeply.

Her heart broke in that moment, but underneath was a newer, stronger one – one that was ready to take chances and the risks of giving love freely. In giving birth to her daughter she'd been born again as well – she felt alive.

Elliot finished and he settled down next to Olivia, an arm around her shoulders and a hand helping to hold the baby. He pressed a kiss to Olivia's forehead and she leaned into him as they studied their new family.

"She's amazing"

Elliot agreed with Olivia's silent thought and continued "you're amazing…" he kissed her again.

Olivia could only smile as she stared down at the tiny miracle in her arms. "So what are we going to call her? I don't know if babygirl number two's going to work as a name option".

Olivia smiled tiredly as she spoke but she didn't want to close her eyes. The sight of Elliot cradling their daughter in his large work roughened hands made for the most beautiful sight she'd ever seen.

But before Elliot could answer Olivia stiffened and flinched. Noting her look of inward concentration Elliot transferred the baby. Noting her look of inward concentration Elliot transferred the baby to one arm.

"What is it Liv?" "Another contraction" she grimaced; "must be the placenta and afterbirth, ooooh I thought I was done this contraction thing". Pain gripped her belly and again she breathed through its intensity, concentrating on relaxing her muscles to widen the birth canal.

Elliot breathed with her, his eyes never leaving hers as they bore into him. She groaned again and Elliot's brow furrowed in thought – she was losing too much blood, it should have slowed down by now.

He remembered something they'd learned in class in regards to emergency childbirth and he cupped her face, drawing her attention back to him.

"Honey? Olivia can you hear me? I'm going to press down hard on your belly as you push okay? You're losing a lot of blood and I need to see if we can manipulate the fundus so you don't haemorrhage".

Olivia nodded mutely, squeezing her eyes shut against the discomfort of the contractions and the pressure on her belly. Finally the placenta began to emerge, and with Elliot at her side encouraging her and telling her how brave she was, how beautiful, how proud he was of her she pushed out and delivered the rest of the afterbirth.

Elliot kept up the firm massage on her newly soft stomach until the bleeding began to wane after another long minute or so.

All the while Olivia's blurry vision was locked on the baby, lying tightly wrapped beside her. After she finished delivering the placenta she reached over to pick up her baby again, missing her already – her arms feeling the emptiness.

Elliot returned from throwing away the set of sheets and he came back with a Ziploc bag, into which he lifted the placenta for the hospital to examine to make sure no part of it had detached and stayed inside the uterus.

He tied off the cord and Olivia re-tucked the blanket around her baby's chin. After all that was finished Elliot climbed into bed next to Olivia and they stared at their daughter. Olivia's eyes grew heavy even though she never wanted to close them again.

She felt Elliot take the baby from her arms and help her to lay down on the pillows. The last thing she felt before she drifted into unconsciousness was the light pressure of his lips against hers and she smiled.

As Olivia slept, Elliot carefully got out of the bed, careful not to jostle her and walked over to the window.

The little girl in his arms stared wide-eyed into his face with those dark blues, blinking as if in surprise at the abrupt shock at coming into the world. She had a shock of brown hair that almost seemed to curl at the edges and over her forehead.

He kissed the top of her head and she blinked again "so that explains all the heartburn your mama had" he chuckled, remembering an old wives' tale about hair and heartburn.

Perfect rosebud lips opened wide into a perfect 'O' as she seemed to yawn and stretch before drowsily opening and closing her eyes before drifting to sleep as well.

He placed the tiny bundle just beside the pillow and Olivia's head and he eased into bed, making a kind of creche with their bodies for the baby.

He slept for another few hours without interruption and when he woke he saw Olivia lying on her side, stroking the sleeping baby's cheek with one finger, just staring at her.

He smiled and whispered "Good morning".

"Mmm, morning to you too" In her sleep the baby pursed her lips and scrunched up her little face before waking. She made a squeaky noise that they already knew would turn into a cry.

"I think she's hungry" Elliot picked up the baby rocked her gently as Olivia unbuttoned the top of her flannel nightshirt wincing "Ugh I hope so". Looking uncertain, Olivia looked up at Elliot for reassurance and he held out the arm not holding the baby so she could sit up a little.

She reached out her arms slightly and Elliot placed the baby into them. He scooched closer to Olivia as she tried to incent her daughter to nurse.

At first the baby just kept making those squeaky impatient sounds and turning her head, but after a moment and some repositioning she latched on with surprising strength.

Olivia gasped at the odd sensation and the slight tug on her sensitive breasts but soon relaxed as her milk began to flow, and some of the tightness and heaviness eased.

"Look at that, you're a pro" she smiled down at the eagerly sucking baby, who was now making contented little snuffly sounds as she nursed.

"How are you feeling?" Elliot kissed her lazily as her head lay against his chest, "Exhausted" she admitted "and sore - but so happy she's here and she's healthy and perfect...and you said Calvin came out of surgery completely fine and his arm should heal perfectly, thank God".

Elliot nodded, "now that it's morning the ambulance will probably be here soon for you as well. I want to get my girls checked out and declared in perfect health as well".

The baby had stopped nursing and had dropped off to sleep, full and content - a tiny milk bubble at the corner of her lips.

"Have you called Cragen and Munch and Fin and everybody yet?" she asked as she rebuttoned the plaid pajama top.

"Not yet, I was a little pre-occupied" he teased. "I'll call them and tell them they can meet us at the hospital if you're feeling up to visitors".

"Yes, I want to see them. We have some important introductions to be made".

"You know, you did give birth less than 12 hours ago" Elliot chided gently. She grimaced ruefully "ugh -don't remind me".

"She's so small" Olivia cupped the baby's head in her hand but the baby just slept on, oblivious to her besotted parent's musings. "Small but feisty" Elliot added smiling "just like her mom...she looks like you you know. She has your lips and nose".

"Mmm, maybe. But she has a combination of both our eyes I think - and definitely your impatience" she grinned wickedly.

The apartment door buzzer rang before Elliot could get a reply out and he went over to buzz them up. They loaded Olivia on a stretcher and started her on an IV of saline and antibiotics as a precaution before heading back out.

Cleanup crews were already at work on the streets, replacing power lines and clearing up fallen trees and branches, although a light dusting of snow still held fast on the ground.

Olivia had just gotten her daughter back in her arms after several hours of tests and getting stitches for the back of her head and for vaginal tearing from her daughter's dramatic entrance into the world.

But other than that they were both pronounced in perfect health and could be discharged after another 12 hours or so of observation.

A light rap on the door and Elliot poked his head in, "are we decent?"

Olivia smiled and adjusted the baby's blankets and hat, "yeah, bring them in". The door swung fully open and Cragen, Munch and Fin all came over to the bedside, stopping just short of it.

Elliot perched on the bed next to her, "Olivia and I would like you to meet Margaret Grace Stabler, Mia for short, weighing in at 6 lbs. 9 oz. and born at 2 this morning on December 1st".

Olivia looked up at Cragen, "Hey Grandpa" she whispered "did you want to hold your granddaughter?" He moved closer and Olivia placed the baby in his arms as Elliot talked with Munch and Fin about the night before.

"Hi" the older man looked down into the face of the baby who had been named in honour of his late wife. Tears ran freely and unashamedly down his face as he held the tiny precious girl in his arms. "I'm your pop-pop sweetheart".

Munch and Fin had taken turns holding her as well, and it was evident that little Mia already had them wrapped around her tiny little finger. "Hey little one, I'm your favourite Uncle Munch" John said and Fin snorted.

"In your dreams old man. Hey baby babygirl, we're going to have so much fun together, wait and see".

"How are you feeling Liv?" Munch sat down on the bed next to her. "Loved" she said simply, "I'm so glad I have such great family around me, and for Mia as well" Elliot squeezed her hand and she squeezed back "thanks guys".

"What is family for?" Munch smiled back and replied in rare un-cynical prose.

"So what ever happened to the Hayes and Carl Jorkins?" Olivia asked, unconsciously holding her baby tighter as she spoke their names.

"Carl tripped...had a nasty fall" Fin said bluntly - a hint of a smile betraying him and the others. "He's in the hospital ward at Bellevue, but when he wakes up he's looking at 3 life sentences - to be served consecutively".

Elliot nodded in satisfaction, but the next second his heart dropped like a stone and all the air was sucked from his lungs.

He whirled around on his heel and cupped Olivia's face with his hands, "Olivia...last night...the baby...I didn't..." he stuttered in shock.

She reached a hand up to stroke his face, "Elliot, he didn't rape me"' she reassured him. His face had lost all color and he looked as though he had aged ten years as he took the hand she'd placed on his cheek and pressed his lips to it.

He put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into him as he buried his face in her shoulder, overcome with relief.

Olivia started to speak again, this time to everyone in the room. "He had planned to he told me, but this little girl..." she nodded to the baby in her arms "decided to come a little early and he was decidedly turned off - at least for the moment".

"Olivia" Elliot croaked hoarsely shaking his head in disbelief.

Olivia shook her head as well but in reassurance, "Elliot you saved me and our daughter, he'd just come back when you got there. And I don't know what he planned to do to me, only that he was going enjoy hearing me plead for my baby's life" she shivered at the memory.

"So he was never really going to give the baby to Rita - he only needed her to plant the croissants and use her as a distraction" Elliot confirmed as the events came together in his mind.

"Now what were you saying about your ring on my finger?" Olivia asked innocently after everyone else had left, a wicked smile curving her lips as she tilted her head. Elliot shook his head and gave a low chuckle before getting down on one knee.

"Olivia Benson; I stand – or kneel I guess in reality – before you today, and I'm in awe of you". Olivia rolled her eyes and scoffed slightly but Elliot continued.

"For nearly 14 years I have loved you. The thousands in overtime we've both worked were worth every sleepless minute and fight at home, because for the most part they were spent with you.

I have never met another woman, or another person, with the goodness or the joyful heart and pureness of spirit you have. It has taken me over a decade to get my own head straightened out and my life – but never once in all those years did I doubt that I loved you, or that you belonged with me.

I know that you saw how my marriage with Kathy worked out, and I know you're scared of that happening with us. But there is one thing we have that that relationship didn't.

I love you Olivia, in any way imaginable. You are my best friend, my soul-mate, the mother of my child. Our connection didn't end when our daughter was born, because there is still a part of me in you. You have my heart, Olivia. It's yours with no expectations or restrictions or exceptions.

You love my children like I do. I watched you grow big with my child, with a new life inside of you. None of it was easy and every hurdle, every complication you took head on.

I saw you nearly die giving birth to our daughter and with her you've given me the most precious gift.

You've been my partner in work for so long, how about being my partner forever – in the rest of my life.

I love you Olivia, with every fiber of my being – and if it's what you want I'll stay just a live-in lover and father and boyfriend – but I want to make you mine Olivia, and you would make me the happiest man in the world if you would agree to be my wife".

"I'm already yours Elliot" Olivia laughed tearfully, "I've been yours for the last 14 years. Yes I'll marry you".

With surprising speed Elliot stood and leaned over her to kiss her. It was only after a small disgruntled squeak came from between them that they broke the embrace.

"I'm sorry sweetie" Elliot laughed as he kissed his daughter's fair haired head "daddy didn't mean to squish you".

The baby stared up at him with fat little rosy cheeks, her mouth moving in a familiar pattern. "Oh I see what the problem is" Olivia smiled and pushed aside her hospital gown. She put Mia to her breast where the baby sucked greedily, closing her eyes again as she nursed.

Olivia looked up from her daughter to see Elliot staring at her, a soft smile on his face that broke into a wide grin as their eyes met.

He reached over for his jacket and pulled something out of the pocket. He opened it and took out a ring. It wasn't the usual engagement ring type, but it was stunning – and Olivia couldn't think of anything she could have picked out that she would have liked better.

It was an eternity style, with two bands of diamonds crossing over each other and meeting in a flawless carat diamond that sparkled brilliantly, even under the hospital's dim fluorescent light.

"Elliot" she breathed – he shook his head.

"You've given me everything Olivia". He kissed her again and they looked down at their daughter.

"Mia doesn't seem too impressed" Olivia teased, kissing the now sleeping baby's head. "She'll have plenty of time to worry about boys in 30 years when she starts dating" Elliot said ruefully and Olivia broke into helpless laughter at the protective stance he'd taken already towards their daughter dating.

"I love you Elliot, forever".

**I'm actually almost a little sad you guys commented so quickly :P I realize I'm being contradictory but I don't want it to be overrrrr! **

**EO forever & all my love!**


End file.
